There's a category of Android work I used to dread — not because it was hard, but because it wasn't interesting. New screen comes in from design. You open Figma, map out the layout, write the composable, get the spacing roughly right, submit the PR, and get back a comment that the padding on the card is 12dp not 16dp.

Rinse, repeat.

It wasn't challenging work. It was transcription. And transcription is exactly the kind of thing I shouldn't be spending engineering time on. The real cost isn't the time — it's that every pass through that loop is a chance for something to drift from what the designer actually intended.

Something Changed

A few months ago I connected Claude to the Figma MCP server. The setup is literally two commands:

Step 1 — Enable the MCP server in Figma Desktop:
Open Figma Desktop → Preferences → Enable Dev Mode MCP Server. That's it. Figma starts exposing a local MCP endpoint at http://127.0.0.1:3845/sse.

Step 2 — Register it with Claude Code:

claude mcp add --transport sse figma http://127.0.0.1:3845/sse

That's the whole setup. From that point on, Claude isn't looking at a screenshot of your design. It's reading the actual file. Component names, layout structure, spacing tokens, design variables — all of it. Because of the Figma MCP, Claude has direct access to the same source of truth the designer was working from.

The first time I handed it a Figma URL and said "implement this," I expected the usual output: something close but wrong in a dozen small ways. Instead it came back with composables that used our actual design system components, correct token values, and a structure that matched what the designer built.

I haven't manually transcribed a simple view since.

What My Workflow Looks Like Now

Hey Claude! Can you build a composable for the bottom sheet based on this Figma design?https://www.examplefigmalinkA few notes: - Use our existing [BottomSheetComponentName] as a reference for structure and styling - Hook it up to [ViewModelName] and use the existing state exposed thereLet me know if anything in the design is unclear or missing.

Designer adds a frame to Figma. I drop the URL into Claude with some context about where it fits in the feature — what ViewModel it should talk to, what state it needs to react to. Through the Figma MCP, Claude reads the file and maps components to what already exists in our codebase, generating a first pass that's already grounded in the real design.

That first pass isn't production-ready. But it's not supposed to be. It's a scaffold that's already aligned with the design and already using the right components. My job shifts from writing the view to reviewing, shaping it and the architecture behind it — which is where my time should be going anyway.

The Time It Actually Saves

Here's what the before and after looks like on a representative simple screen — say, a new settings row, a profile card, or a content carousel:

Before:

• Open Figma, inspect spacing, colors, component names manually: ~15 min
• Write the composable from scratch: ~45 min
• Submit PR, get back pixel-level feedback, iterate: ~30 min
• Total: ~90 minutes of mostly mechanical work

After:

• Drop Figma URL into Claude with a sentence of context: ~1 min
• Review and shape the generated scaffold: ~5–10 min
• Submit PR: ~2 min
• Total: ~10–15 minutes

That's an 80–90% reduction on the transcription work — and the output is more accurate to spec because Claude is reading the actual Figma tokens, not my approximation of them. Across a feature with five or six new screens, that's a full day of engineering time back.

And the gains aren't linear. The more complex the screen, the more surface area there is for manual transcription errors. A screen with ten components, each with specific spacing, colors, and states, used to be a multi-hour exercise. Now it's a scaffold in minutes.

What This Actually Unlocks

The code generation is the obvious win. But the more interesting unlock is what happens to collaboration.

Design and engineering have always worked toward the same goal — they just rarely worked from the same context. Designers live in Figma. Engineers live in the IDE. Everything in between is translation: screenshots, redlines, Slack threads, tickets with attached PNGs. The Figma MCP collapses that gap. When Claude can read the design file directly, both sides are finally referencing the same source of truth at the same time.

And that opens up workflows that weren't really possible before. Take something as routine as ticket creation: instead of an engineer manually pulling a Figma frame, screenshotting it, writing up a description, and linking the file — Claude can do that whole loop. Point it at a Figma board, and it can read the frames, generate a ticket description grounded in the actual design, attach the relevant screenshots, and drop in the Figma link. What used to take 10 minutes of context-switching is now a prompt.

That's just one example. The broader point is that once Claude has eyes on the design file, a lot of work that lived in the seams between tools just disappears.

What It Isn't

It's not magic. Poorly structured Figma files produce noisy output. Complex stateful logic still needs to be thought through carefully. And a designer still needs to review what ships.

But for the straightforward stuff — a new card, a settings row, a simple screen — the grind is just gone. And freeing up that headspace, consistently, over months, adds up to something real.

I'm not sure I'd go back even if I could.

The Loop Isn't Closed Yet

That said, the handoff still starts with a human. A designer leaves a comment in Figma, and an engineer has to notice it, open a ticket, grab the link, and prompt Claude to start working. We've removed a lot of steps, but we haven't removed the initiation.

That's the gap we're still trying to close, and there are two specific things we're looking at:

End-to-end automation: The goal is for a design comment in Figma to set off the entire downstream flow. A ticket gets created, a branch is spun up, the MCP link is attached, and Claude begins the implementation. No one has to manually start the process. All the pieces are already there. The challenge now is stitching them together into one continuous loop.

Remote MCP: Right now the Figma MCP server runs locally, which means Figma Desktop has to be open on someone's machine for any of this to work. Moving it to a cloud-hosted MCP would make the integration asynchronous and no longer tied to a specific machine. That is a necessary step toward the more autonomous, always-on workflow we are aiming for.

We're not there yet. But the direction is clear.

Today, Grindr is celebrating 17 years of serving the LGBTQ+ community. The app has come a long way since its Los Angeles launch in 2009, slowly expanding its audience as one user at a time logged in and sent their first “hey” to a stranger. Over the past 17 years, Grindr has grown from a handful of Angelinos to a global network of millions, revolutionizing how gay men date, hook up, and think about geography. 

Since its launch, Grindr has introduced new vocabulary such as “NPNC,” “looking,” and “host/travel” into the lexicon and created the iconic notification bloop. Grindr has evolved as both an organization and an app since 2009, unveiling features such as Roam, which helps users connect with The Global Gayborhood, gAI (pronounced “gay eye”), its latest AI integration, and a BlackBerry app (RIP). The company went public in 2022, has fought for marriage equality rights and sexual health through Grindr For Equality, and even launched a fashion collaboration with Rainbow Wool made from the wool of gay sheep (because one out of every twelve sheep is gay FYI).

At some point, Grindr broke containment, becoming an ubiquitous brand that even your straightest relatives know about. It’s been namedropped on talk shows, spoofed on network television, and even made its way into a Tony Award-winning musical. So to celebrate the beloved app’s 17th birthday, let’s look back at 17 times Grindr made its way into mainstream pop culture. 

1. A Grindr butthole pic inspires an episode of The Other Two

No TV show quite had its finger on the pulse of gay pop culture like The Other Two, which managed to poke fun at everything from age-gap relationships to Broadway’s love of plays about AIDS. It was only natural then that the show centered a (w)hole episode around Cary (Drew Tarver) sending a butthole pic on Grindr that went viral. 

2. The app gets its own Riverdale dupe

From the “Five Seasons Hotel” and “The Matchelorette” to “Share BnB” and “23 Hour Fitness,” no brand was safe from a reworked moniker on the CW’s soapy Riverdale. When the show’s token gay character, Kevin (Casey Cott), needed a late-night rendezvous, he obviously turned to “Grind’em” to meet a man. 

3. A headless torso wreaks havoc on Love, Victor

While Hulu’s Love, Simon spinoff steered clear of the apps in early seasons, Victor (Michael Cimino) used another dupe titled “Gay Dating and Chat App” (rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) to set up a date with a headless torso. As luck would have it, the torso ultimately belonged to Victor’s ex. 

4. Billy Eichner teaches Conan O’Brien Grindr 101

There’s nothing quite like exposing your straight friend to the no-nonsense wonders of Grindr for the first time, and Billy Eichner gave Conan O’Brien a world-class introduction to the app in a segment for Conan. I wonder how Musculo is doing these days. 

5. A gay Jeopardy contestant mixes up his dating apps

What’s the fastest way to find out if a Jeopardy contestant is gay? Apparently, by asking them to spell “Tinder.” When Drew Goins was asked a Final Jeopardy question with Tinder as the answer, he wrote down “Tindr” instead, realizing in real time that he’d chopped the “e” after frequent use of “Grindr.” 

6. Homer Simpson uses “Grinder”

Speaking of misspelled names, The Simpsons parodied the app in a 2016 episode, adding an “e” to the name and googly eyes to the logo. Marge downloads the app, looking for a pepper grinder app (who hasn’t made that mistake?), and then Homer uses it to help Smithers find a boyfriend.

7. Eminem cryptically mentions being on Grindr

Speaking of celebs on Grindr, Eminem broke the internet back in 2017 when he stated in a Vulture interview that he’d used Grindr to date after his divorce. While he later clarified that he was joking, for several days it did seem like we’d found a new bicon. 

8. Neighbors cracks a Grindr joke

Grindr reached new heights in 2014, when it was namedropped in the Seth Rogen comedy Neighbors. While Ike Barinholtz’s character didn’t seem to realize the app wasn’t for straight people, the writers felt sure that the film’s audience would. 

9. Sabrina Carpenter seemingly references Grindr in “Slim Pickins”

Grindr’s iconic notification sound has been a hallmark of gay culture for years, so gays immediately clocked a guitar pluck that sounds suspiciously similar in Sabrina Carpenter’s “Slim Pickins”. The sound appears right after Carpenter sings “and since the lord forgot my gay awakening,” further escalating the rumors. 

10. Grindr hits Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update desk

You haven’t made it until you’ve been spoofed on SNL, and Michael Che fired off a Grindr quip in 2019 in honor of the app’s tenth anniversary. Behind the desk, he said that the app has “all but replaced the old way of finding discrete gay hookups: church camp.” 

11. A Strange Loop rides a Grindr reference to the Tonys

A Strange Loop won Best Musical at the 2022 Tonys by boasting an entire song about Grindr interactions. While never mentioning Grindr by name, “Exile in Gayville” repeatedly croons “looking into hung,” an obvious reference to Grindr’s tags. 

12. Jennifer Coolidge namedrops Grindr in Netflix’s gay Christmas movie

Jennifer Coolidge has always been a gay icon, and she proved that yet again in the 2021 holiday flick Single All the Way, where she played a Christmas pageant director obsessed with gay people and, of course, Grindr. 

13. Grindr inspires a French arthouse film

Since 2009, Grindr has facilitated thousands of vacation hookups, and 4 Days in France is a stunning road trip film about a man traveling the French countryside, moving from one hookup to the next. If only every international encounter were so cinematic. 

14. A Eurovision fan seems to be very popular on the app

There’s nothing quite like live television, and during a Eurovision broadcast in 2024, a presenter attempted to demonstrate how to use the Eurovision app with a fan’s cell phone. Unfortunately for the user, a flood of Grindr notifications, complete with sound, spilled in during the segment, much to the confusion of the presenter and joy of the audience. 

15. Grindr "crashes" the Republican National Convention

Sorry, headline chasers — reports that Grindr crashed at the RNC were false, but that didn't stop the internet from running wild with the story. The app made headlines when Milwaukee suddenly became a very active gayborhood during the Republican National Convention, causing many to wonder if the RNC was a hotbed for hotbeds. 

16. Grindr falls victim to a classic Abbott Elementary joke

A running joke on Abbott Elementary is Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) butchering names. It seemed inevitable, then, that she’d eventually screw up Grindr, which she did to epic effect when chatting with Jacob (Chris Perfetti), calling it “Drillr.” 

17. And then obviously, Looking

It’s impossible to make a TV show about gay men post-2009 and not feature Grindr. The app was featured heavily on HBO’s Looking (hell, the title is a Grindr tag reference), but is especially prevalent in the show’s second episode titled “Looking for Uncut.”

Down bad with a classic case of spring fever? You’re right on time for Aries season, which kicked off with March 20th’s spring equinox and lasts until April 20. Ruled by Mars, the planet of action and drive, this cardinal fire sign knows how to dial up the heat. Aries is independent, instinctual, and yes, a little feral. It’s the astrological equivalent of a good quickie: swift, but satisfyingly spicy.

With slow-moving planets Saturn and Neptune newly in Aries, this season stands to impart some greater wisdom. Aries doesn’t second-guess itself or wait for the exact right moment; it makes things happen. What fantasies, sexual or otherwise, are you willing to work for? Think of the next month as your cosmic crash course in taking initiative and chasing after what you want, in your everyday life and in the bedroom. As long as you know your limits, you’ll be golden.

Three signs in particular are about to get a boost of feral energy: Libra, Sagittarius, and naturally, Aries. Keep reading for the rundown on what this horny season means for your queer sex and dating exploits.

Aries

Feeling H-O-T-T-O-G-O? Lean in. Your Sun sign season has arrived, which means your self-expression and personal goals should take priority. Message first on Grindr. Wear a head-turning outfit to the gay club. Be as feral and fiercely independent as your fire-sign heart desires. Just remember to pace yourself. Living your most authentic life should feel empowering, not like a mad dash to the finish line.

Taurus

Stuck in a rut right now, Taurus? Channel the ram of the zodiac and do something about it. That could look like confiding in someone about your worries and insecurities, or it could look like attending a sex party by yourself when that’s outside of your comfort zone. They say fortune favors the bold, but you can start by challenging yourself to take one small step in a different direction.

Gemini

Among friends, you’re often the life of the party, and Aries season stands to highlight that. Expect an uptick in platonic kikis, impromptu nights out, and notifications from your go-to group chats. More focused on your personal aspirations than your social life? That’s valid, too. Notice where you feel pulled instinctually. That’s where you should be devoting your time and energy.

Cancer

It’s time to take charge of your future, Cancer. Initiating isn’t usually your MO, but right now, you’re feeling in touch with your inner leader. That could mean sliding into a hot guy’s DMs, or it could mean initiating a bigger conversation with your partner about your career ambitions and long-term goals. Be honest and direct about what you’re looking for, even if it takes courage.

Leo

Erotic adventure awaits, Leo. Your natural confidence and creativity perfectly complement Aries’ go-getter vibe. Got travel plans lined up this month? Preview the scene with Grindr’s Roam feature, or hit the apps once you arrive at your destination. Craving novelty in your sex life? Pick up a new toy from your local sex shop. Better yet, link up with a new-to-you hottie who’s down to explore one of your kinks together.

Virgo

Feral behavior isn’t usually your thing, Virgo. You prefer to plan ahead so you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. In the spirit of Aries season, challenge yourself to stop thinking so hard about your romantic or sexual connections and just trust your instincts. If you take a risk and let someone in (literally or emotionally), you’ll open up a whole new world of erotic possibilities.

Libra

Feeling extra turned on by your partner? That’s Aries season for you. If you’re in a committed relationship, expect more emphasis on how you find compromises and maintain your independence while partnered. Planning dates or quality time together will help keep that romantic spark alive. And if you’re single? Dating for partnership, or at least something consistent, like friends with benefits, is probably the move. Assert your boundaries and expectations from the get go.

Scorpio

The next month will shed light on your daily grind — your job, gym routine, and all those annoying tasks at home that tend to pile up. Not the sexiest stuff ever, but hey, that’s life. Making the time for dates or hookups, even spontaneously, could be a welcome break from all the hard work you’re putting in. Struggling to balance it all without burning out? I’ve got one word for you: quickies.

Sagittarius

Your motto for Aries season? F*ck around and find out. Pleasure is your main motivation right now, so get moving. Whether you’re scrolling on Grindr, cruising at a local hotspot, or scanning the crowd at the club for your next messy dance-floor makeout, shooting your shot could definitely pay off. Even if you’re met with a “no,” you’ll build confidence and momentum by pushing yourself to make the first move.

Capricorn

Tempted to reconnect with your gay roots? Run with it. There’s something so raw, steamy, and quintessentially Aries about revisiting what’s turned you on since day one. Whether you’re hosting a hookup or playing solo, let your erotic instincts lead the way. You don’t have to justify your desires. They’re valid.

Aquarius

If direct communication is hot, you’re about to be on fire. Boundary-setting discussions, steamy sexting sessions, risky texts to your crush — all are par for the course in your dating life this season. Keep the radical honesty up, but watch your delivery. Coming in hot isn’t the only way to make your voice heard, especially when a conversation concerns matters of the heart.

Pisces

This season, treat yourself to something that makes you feel hot. Not what your partner is into, not what your favorite Insta gay is pushing; what you feel drawn to, instinctually and undeniably. That could be a sexy new outfit, a new toy for your growing collection, or something intangible, like fitness classes. Your happiness and self-confidence is always worth the investment. 

If you’re a queer person who lives in a major metropolitan city, there’s a good chance you’ve explored the nightlife scene. There are a dwindling number of bars to choose from in places like Los Angeles and New York City, but most people quickly learn that not all gay parties are built the same, nor do they always curate a welcoming vibe — and I’ll explain what I mean.

The parties that are thrown at popular gay bars more often than not are inhabited by twinks or muscular jocks looking for the same. Nine times out of 10, the music is the same mix of Top 40 pop hits with slight variations depending on the night. For those who don’t have the ideal slender body type, it’s easy to feel like an outsider, but more importantly, not desired. Most people go to bars to find someone to have an electrifying dance-floor makeout with or to spark up a conversation with a cute guy. When you are constantly getting quietly rejected, the usual train of thought is: Is it me?

I was that person, going out to parties with my friends who identify as twinks or twunks, and they’d easily find someone to form a connection with — leaving me alone by myself, dancing on my own. When you experience frequent rejection in spaces where you aren’t the desired body type, it undoubtedly takes a toll on the way you look at yourself. And in trying to open up about how I felt constantly rejected, I found support from my friends, but they never truly understood how I felt. It felt like a spiral of despair and self-deprivation that only gets worse over time. I’ve only recently started to feel like I've been reframing how I see myself after I started going to bear parties.

Nick Laughlin, the producer of the popular bear party in Manhattan called Goldiloxx, shared a similar story, which led to the creation of his monthly party. He told his friends about the experience he was having at this party, and they tried to comfort him by telling him it was all in his head. He said, “You’ve never been rejected 100 times by someone’s eye contact, so don’t.” Laughlin said he started meeting other bears who felt the same way, and so he decided to throw the first Goldiloxx as a one-off party back in 2022. 

A monthly bear party in Manhattan with two floors and two very different vibes. There’s pop music on the top floor with a large dancefloor, and downstairs is more house/electronic music.  The demand for the party proved strong, so he continued throwing it. Over the years, he’s grown a connection with the people he’s hosted at the parties, and it’s become a tight circle of friends.

“It’s felt liberating to me to have a bear family, more so now than before when I was just attending them,” Laughlin says. “I feel more confident now that I have a community of bears,” and he’s felt seen how his party has done that for others. At first, he thought this would be a fun side hustle. But he says, “I’d have so many people DM me or they’d come up to me, almost teary-eyed, thanking me for how they haven't felt safe in their bodies at places like The Eagle or thank me for the vibe of the party, and that they really appreciate it.” He says he felt that way, but it was nice to hear from the people attending the party.

When I started going to these parties, I started to feel desired, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a while. I was making out with multiple men in one night — something I haven’t done since my twink days. I was being told how attractive I am. And it’s not that I needed these people to tell me I’m worthy of desire to see it, but it definitely didn’t hurt. I started reframing how I spoke to myself and viewed my body. I focused more on the things I loved about myself (outside the physical) and started giving myself more credit. I’m a great friend, I’m a great listener. I know how to carry a conversation without the help of AI. I’m smart. I’m funny. I am resilient in the face of an unpredictable media industry, where I’m still trying to find my place.

People have their preconceived notions about bear parties because when I tell people I go to these sorts of parties, the first question I always get is: Can people who aren’t bears go? Or I’ll have people tell me, “Oh, I don’t go to those because I’m not a bear,” which is the exact opposite sort of thinking that these spaces are trying to incite, given the exclusion that people in bigger bodies have felt at the gay bar parties in places like West Hollywood in Los Angeles or Hell’s Kitchen.

The word “community” does a lot of heavy lifting in LGBTQ+ spaces because most people use it as a catch-all term to oversell the idea of gay men meeting up to drink and hang out. It’s easy to dismiss the term because it’s become overused and the meaning has been diluted over the years. I never really felt like I had a community here in New York after putting in almost a decade's worth of nights out. As overwrought as the term may be, there is something special about finding community after it’s been thought of as a nebulous concept in my head.

Bearmilk, one of the popular bear parties that’s held at The Deep End on the border of Ridgewood, Queens, and Bushwick, Brooklyn, recently celebrated its ninth birthday. It’s known for being a favorite among the Black and Brown bears that might not want to trek into Manhattan for an event. The party’s organizer, Jorge Mdahaur, says the party was born from seeing the need for spaces that cater to people of color, as it's in a more accessible area, they have a $5-$10 cover compared to other parties’ $30 and up, and the DJs play more hip-hop, rap, and Caribbean music.

“The bear parties nine years ago were mostly attended by white people, Mdhaur says. “I didn’t see any Black or brown people on the fliers, nor did I see a lot of representation for other communities besides just like the white muscle bears from Manhattan.” He goes on to say, “So for me, it was really important [to create Bearmilk] because I wanted to hang out with my friends in these spaces and feel like the space was for us.”

I can speak to my experience growing up a 6’7” tall, Latino, who has always been on the chubbier side, and I’ve always felt like I needed to shrink myself. I never felt worthy of taking up space or making my voice heard. Before puberty, I was always the tallest and meekest in the room. Once I started gaining weight and being seen as unhealthy, and that translated in my head as being unworthy of love, I tried to shrink myself even further by going to the gym often and losing a decent amount of weight to be seen as attractive. I was praised for my weight loss and told I looked healthier.

Of course, the weight returned, and it took me years to unlearn the idea of shrinking myself to make other people happy or comfortable. I credit that to these parties as the switch that turned the lights on in a dark room for me.

That seems to be the case with many of the guests at Mdhaur’s party as well as he tells Grindr, “I just feel this like amazing sense of gratitude and pride because people tell me things like, ‘This was the first time I felt comfortable taking my shirt off in public’ or ‘This is the first time I ever felt sexy.’ That’ll literally make me cry because I relate to that story.”

The importance of these spaces cannot be overstated, because both organizers understand that the clientele inhabiting them should have their questions, comments, and concerns listened to and taken seriously. “I see [my party] as a living organism; it’s my child. It was something that was born, and I take care of it now,” Mdhaur says, so if that means hearing how he could improve from his guests, then so be it.

Laughlin knows that there’s more work to do in the bear party space as a whole, but is happy where things are right now. “I’d say we’re in a good place, we keep doing our thing and making all the muscle boys jealous of our bear teas.”

A Historic Step Forward: Poland's Supreme Court Orders Recognition of Same-Sex Marriages from the EU

Today, Poland's Supreme Administrative Court ruled that same-sex marriages legally performed in other EU member states must be recognized in Poland. The decision was applauded in the courtroom, where activists and couples had gathered to hear the verdict.

This is a significant moment — for Poland, for the region, and for the broader march toward marriage equality across Europe. For the estimated 30,000 to 40,000 Polish citizens who have married same-sex partners abroad, today's ruling means their marriages can no longer be treated as legally invisible at home.

Progress Built by People

This didn't happen through courts alone. Organizations like Love Does Not Exclude (Miłość Nie Wyklucza) and Campaign Against Homophobia (Kampania Przeciw Homofobii) have led the charge — and Grindr for Equality has worked alongside them directly, running advocacy campaigns on the Grindr platform to put their message in front of the millions of LGBTQ people who use it. 

Grindr and Marriage Equality

Marriage equality is one of Grindr for Equality's core strategic priorities. Over the past year, we ran voter education and advocacy campaigns in Poland, participated in the Freedom to Marry Global regional summit in Vilnius that brought together advocates from across Central and Eastern Europe., and co-sponsored a marriage equality summit in Bangkok that brought together 50+ advocates from 13 countries across Asia-Pacific. In Japan — where a Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality is expected this year — we are supporting Marriage for All Japan, with events, documentaries, and a national rollout underway. 

Full marriage equality remains the goal everywhere. Today's ruling in Poland is a step toward all of them.

Grindr for Equality is Grindr's social impact initiative advancing LGBTQ+ health, safety, and human rights globally. Learn more at grindr.com/g4e.

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For decades, heterosexual America has held an unfair monopoly over drunkenly yelling at bar televisions. 

This conceit is something generally understood as “sports,” occurring primarily at the “sports bar” — familiar constructs, to be sure, but not particularly known for their embrace of the queer community. If anything, many of these spaces and their offshoots (see: gym class, varsity games, masculinity overall) can catalyze a young queer person’s sense of exclusion and otherness. An inability to discuss “the big game” or, worse, the perceived social obligation to care about said big game when you’d much rather be talking about the Born This Way music video run is a common ground many of us share when we look back on our adolescences, that horrible period of discovering you might be different.

The past few years, though, have shown some remarkable developments in the queer community’s reclamation of this space, with a central force that might look unlikely on paper: CBS’s pioneering reality juggernaut Survivor.

Since the show’s quarantine-era resurgence, during which many people (myself included) voraciously speedran the show’s then-forty seasons, it has ignited a cultural frenzy not seen since its early days, when families nationwide gathered weekly to watch a nefarious, nude gay man terrorize his castmates, winning $1M for doing so. But this time around, people aren’t watching at home; they’re hitting the bars.

Neil McNeil, who hosts a hugely popular watch party at Los Angeles gay sports bar Hi Tops Los Feliz, was a barback when he first heard of plans to play the show back in 2024. That was at the beginning of season 46, well into the show’s post-2020 “new era.”

“This is going to be major,” McNeil remembers thinking when management mentioned customers’ email requests to play the show. This sort of communal viewing was hardly new for the bar — Drag Race viewing parties had been a mainstay since its 2023 opening, as were traditional sports — but Survivor fans are a different breed. He had the idea of hiding an “idol” in the bar, mimicking the show’s iconic Hidden Immunity Idol mechanic where players can find producer-planted trinkets and play them to spare themselves. The Hi Tops iteration of the idol would net its finder a free shot.

“Just trust me on this,” he’d told management.

Someone found that idol early in the night, and most everyone thought nothing of it. And then something exciting happened: “The next week, people started showing up [asking] ‘is the idol hidden yet?’” shares McNeil, who took this as an opportunity to swing for the fences, spinning this interactive component into a weekly idol hunt, puzzle competitions mimicking the show’s challenges, and eventually, a fantasy league which now spans both the bar’s Los Feliz location and its original West Hollywood spot.

“The people who watch Survivor take that shit seriously,” says Michael Swan, who hosts the West Hollywood parties. “They’re debating strategy in the commercial breaks.” 

Swan and McNeil share the sentiment that Survivor is a markedly different experience from the Drag Race watch party, the clearest “gay sports” forebearer. Where those parties are largely a passive experience, a formalized pregame ahead of a Friday night outing, Survivor is a uniquely active one, a dynamic McNeil attributes to the fact that “anything could change at the drop of a hat” in the game. (Judging by season 50’s chaos thus far, he’s absolutely right.)

If you’re wondering what it is about this show specifically that captivates queer audiences, you’re not alone. Even host Jeff Probst is confounded by this, per a reported exchange cut from season 48 in which he appears baffled at any connection between the show and gay culture.

Everyone I spoke with for this piece also didn’t have a firm answer, though some trends generally emerged: its grand characters, especially its divas; the high drama, which some might dub camp; hot, muscular men barely clothed on the beach.

“I always think about the quote from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt where Titus says, ‘That was all smoke and mirrors, Kimmy, two things gay men love,’” offers Sam Stanish, who cohosts the Bitter Jurors podcast and produces the Fruity Island watch party in Brooklyn. 

“The show gives itself over to queer sensibilities because the women on the show are either iconic…or invisible. Only a gay person would look at somebody with zero confessionals and be like, she’s my favorite contestant of all time,” he adds, alluding to Kelly Shinn’s infamous “purple” edit on the Nicaragua season. “You can’t have Star Updates [a popular Twitter account dedicated to season 48’s underedited Star Toomey] if it’s a straight fanbase.”

Past the divas — which Survivor boasts in spades — there is also a more elemental appeal at play here. Declan Zhang, who (fittingly) hosts the podcast Gay Sports, identifies this as such: “A lot of us have had the experience, before we were around a lot of other gay people, of having to monitor ourselves and learn how to present the right version of ourselves, to be palatable and work our way to the top of a social hierarchy.”

It’s a sentiment I heard some variation on from everyone I spoke to: there’s an undeniable parallel between the performances we have to do as queer people and the performative elements of Survivor. McNeil named the “alliances” he built with the popular girls in grade school as a touchpoint for the show’s alliance structure. Swan leaned on the show’s emphasis on community and outsiders, especially given the show’s early penchant for casting macho men who were often outright homophobic or transphobic.

Not that Survivor is some weepy, trite affair (although season 50’s nostalgic tearjerker opening montage might suggest as such). Rather, it’s a show that encourages the sort of investment we see from sports fans, so that all the backstabbing and manipulating feels like it matters.

“I turn into a bit of a bro during challenges,” says Zhang. “My beer is sloshing around in my hand, and I’m cheering and yelling at the screen. It’s awesome.”

They're not the only one. All across the bar, so is everyone else.

After several years of increasingly gay Oscar ceremonies thanks to the likes of Colman Domingo, Cynthia Erivo, and *winces* Karla Sofia Gascon, the 2026 Academy Awards are poised to be a blandly heterosexual affair. Of the 200+ nominees this year, only a handful are openly queer, with no LGBTQ+ actors nominated (that we know of at least). The three notable queer nominees are Mark Sonnenblick, one of the “Golden” songwriters, and the directors of the documentaries Come See Me in the Good Light and Mr. Nobody Against Putin.

But just because the class of 2026 doesn’t include many Grindr users (although you never know who is lurking behind those black squares), it doesn’t mean that the Academy Awards don’t boast a long queer history full of highs, lows, and gay cowboys boning in the wilderness. So ahead of the 2026 Oscars, let’s take a look back at 10 defining gay moments in the history of the Academy Awards. 

1931 — Marlene Dietrich dresses as a man and kisses a woman in Morocco

While the Hays Code, a strict moral standard that outlawed homosexuality on screen, made sure gay moments at the Oscars were forbidden from 1934 to 1968, Marlene Dietrich caused a stir when she donned a tuxedo and kissed a female patron as a nightclub singer in Morocco. Dietrich, who was bisexual in real life and had frequent affairs with men and women, was nominated for Best Actress at the 4th Academy Awards.

1970 — Midnight Cowboy becomes the first film with gay themes to win Best Picture

Shortly after the Hays Code was disbanded, Midnight Cowboy, a film about a male prostitute (Jon Voight) and his pimp (Dustin Hoffman) hustling on the streets of New York won win Best Picture, despite having gay sex portrayed on screen. Midnight Cowboy was eventually followed by The Silence of the Lambs (1992), American Beauty (2000), Moonlight (2017), and Everything Everywhere All at Once (2023) as Best Picture winners with queer plots (although not all handled the subject with the same delicacy). 

1973 — Paul Winfield becomes the first openly gay nominee in an acting category

Definitively labeling firsts in Oscar history is a bit tricky given the various degrees of “out” that exist in the film world. Until the 2000s, most queer people in Hollywood didn’t make public announcements about their sexuality, even if they were out within the industry or in longterm homosexual relationships. This was the case with Paul Winfield, who was nominated for Best Actor for his performance in Sounder. Winfield lived with Cicely Tyson in the early ‘70s, leading many to believe they were romantically involved when he was actually out and dating his life partner. 

1986 — William Hurt wins an Oscar for playing a queer role in Kiss of the Spider Woman

While Hurt’s win for playing a gay man in the non-musical version of this story about two men in a Brazilian prison seemed progressive at the time, in the years since, LGBTQ+ actors have bristled at how many straight actors have been heralded as brave and given awards for playing queer roles. Tom Hanks, Hilary Swank, Nicole Kidman, Sean Penn, Jared Leto, and Rami Malek would all benefit from this trend while queer actors remained on the sidelines. 

1992 - Howard Ashman wins a posthumous Oscar after dying from AIDS

Disney lyricist Howard Ashman died in 1991 after battling AIDS for several years. He was nominated for four Oscars posthumously, including for “Beauty and the Beast” in Best Original Song. His partner, Bill Lauch accepted the Oscar on his behalf, calling attention to the AIDS crisis in his moving speech.

1993 - Jaye Davidson becomes the first openly queer actor nominated for a queer role

While numerous straight actors have received nominations for playing gay, Davidson became the first openly queer actor to be nominated for a queer role, playing a transgender character in The Crying Game. Only five other openly LGBTQ+ actors have been nominated for playing queer roles since: Ian McKellan in Gods & Monsters (1999), Stephanie Hsu in Everything Everywhere All at Once (2023), Jodie Foster in Nyad (2024), Colman Domingo in Rustin (2024), and Karla Sofia Gascon in Emilia Perez (2025). 

2005 - Brokeback Mountain nearly wins Best Picture

While Brokeback Mountain ultimately lost the Best Picture Oscar to Crash in one of the Academy’s most notorious snubs, the gay love story about two Wyoming cowboys racked up eight nominations and three wins for Best Director, Adapted Screenplay, and Score. The film would pave the way for dozens of gay Best Picture nominees, including Milk, The Kids Are Alright, Call Me By Your Name, and Tar. 

2017 - Moonlight named Best Picture after envelope mix-up

Twelve years after Brokeback Mountain, Moonlight, a gay coming-of-age story, won Best Picture in historic fashion. The presenters initially misread the envelope, calling La La Land as the winner. It was only after the musical’s team had taken the stage and delivered speaches that the error was discovered, leading to the now infamous, “There’s been a mistake. Moonlight. You guys won Best Picture.”

2022 - Ariana DeBose becomes the first openly queer woman of color to win an acting Oscar

The Academy’s history of queer winners is short, and so is their history with winners of color. When combined, that list contains just a handful of names, including Ariana DeBose, who won Best Supporting Actress for West Side Story. Other queer winners of color include Wicked’s costume designer Paul Tazewell and Moonlight’s playwright Tarell Alvin McCraney.

2025 - Karla Sofia Gascon becomes the first transgender acting nominee

While much of the progress gained by Emilia Perez was ultimately undermined by a scandal involving Gascon’s barrage of controversial tweets, the actress did become the first transgender acting nominee in Oscar history. As trans actors like MJ Rodriguez, Hunter Schafer, and Elliot Page continue to push the industry forward, hopefully, we’ll get our first transgender Oscar winner before long.

Across Asia, the movement for marriage equality is entering a new phase.

For decades, advocates fought for legal recognition of same-sex couples through constitutional challenges, hostile referendums, and grinding legislative campaigns. Three countries have now won that fight — Taiwan, Thailand, and Nepal. Their victories have energized activists across the region.

Last month, that momentum came into focus through two gatherings highlighting both the strategy and human stories driving the movement: a regional strategy meeting in Bangkok and a Valentine’s Day event in Tokyo.

Charting the Path Forward for Marriage Equality in Asia

Last month, Grindr for Equality partners Freedom to Marry Global and APCOM, convened the 2026 Asia Regional Marriage Equality Strategy Meeting in Bangkok. More than 50 advocates traveled from Bhutan, Hong Kong, Japan, Mongolia, Nepal, the Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand, and Vietnam.

The presence of three marriage equality countries in Asia has fundamentally changed the conversation. Victories in Taiwan, Thailand and Nepal offer proof that fights for equality can succeed in Asian societies, and across the region, progress is mounting. 

In the past two years:

• More than 26,000 same-sex couples have been married in Thailand since equality was achieved in early 2025
• Five of six Japanese High Courts ruled that marriage inequality is unconstitutional.
• Vietnam recorded 63% public support for same-sex marriage.
• South Korea included same-sex couples in its national census.
• The Philippine Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples can legally co-own property

None of these developments happened by accident.

For three days in Bangkok, advocates shared legal strategies, campaign tactics, and lessons learned from their own countries. Many organize in environments where openly advocating for LGBTQ+ rights carries risk or where nationalist and opaque political systems add pressure.

Yet breaking down the steps help demystify the process: recruit volunteers, find families willing to share their stories, build coalitions of lawyers and civil society organizations, identify political allies and map pathways to change.

As Freedom to Marry Global campaign strategist Cameron Tolle told the room: "If we don't chart the path to winning, then who will?"

One moment captured the spirit of the movement. During a fundraising session, participants were asked to call someone in their lives who could be a potential donor. One advocate called their grandmother, a relationship that has been strained since they came out. She not only agreed to donate but promised to spread the word in her rural hometown. The room erupted in tears.

Japan: A Movement at a Turning Point

Japan is at a critical juncture. Five of six regional High Courts have ruled the country’s same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional, but the Tokyo High Court ruled the opposite in November 2025, creating tension ahead of a Supreme Court decision expected within the next year. At the same time, Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi, elected in October 2025, opposes same-sex marriage and leads a government in which conservative nationalist sentiment is rising. 

Yet public support for marriage equality in Japan sits at around 70%. The gap between public opinion and the law remains enormous. Closing it will require not only litigation but a mobilized community unwilling to let the issue fade from the political agenda.

On February 14, Marriage for All Japan marked the seventh anniversary of its first affiliated marriage equality lawsuit with a Valentine’s Day event at Aisotope Lounge in Shinjuku Ni-chome, Tokyo’s LGBTQ+ district. The event premiered two documentaries produced with Grindr for Equality’s support: We Visited Countries Where Same-Sex Marriage Is Legal!

The films were designed to make marriage feel personal rather than abstract, showing how couples in Thailand and Taiwan are already building married lives and inspiring Japanese gay/bi men to imagine the possibility for themselves. 

After the screenings, Japanese Hiroya and his Taiwanese husband Daniel, gogo performers who married in Taiwan last year, described the reality of living in Japan where their marriage is not recognized: immigration complications, expired notarized documents, and a hospital that turned Hiroya away during Daniel’s medical emergency. Asked what marriage means to him, Daniel answered simply: “Legal validation of love across borders.”

About 80% of attendees reported feeling a strong personal connection with the couples featured in the films. Several were visibly moved to tears. 

As one couple featured in the Taiwan documentary put it: “Marriage is the beginning of a happy story.” For Japan’s LGBTQ+ community, that beginning is still being fought for — and gatherings like this help keep the fight alive.

Grindr: From Connection to Commitment

Spending time with these communities is a reminder that long before laws change, movements are sustained by people caring for one another and refusing to give up. 

As the world’s largest platform for gay, bi, trans and queer people, Grindr believes the freedom to connect must be matched by the freedom to build a life together under the law.

That is why Grindr for Equality supports organizations like Freedom to Marry Global and Marriage for All Japan, helping build the legal strategies, peer networks and cultural momentum needed to expand marriage equality across Asia.

Marriage equality is about far more than two people coming together. When same-sex couples are recognized under the law, it opens space for LGBTQ+ people to live more fully in society — shaping adoption rights, healthcare access, immigration protections and the simple dignity of being recognized as a family.

With three countries already recognizing marriage equality, the question is no longer whether change can happen in Asia. The question is how quickly that momentum will spread.

Problem

Claude cannot see Xcode Previews, so it ends up building SwiftUI components completely blind.

Why This Matters

When Xcode Previews were introduced, they changed how we build UI. Instead of recompiling the app, launching a simulator, navigating to a screen, and waiting just to validate a spacing tweak, developers could iterate instantly. That feedback loop saved hours of wasted time.

Although Apple is pushing Xcode to be more agentic and they just released Xcode MCP Tools our workflow at Grindr is increasingly CLI-first. Many of our iOS engineers can go an entire week without opening Xcode. Therefore, we want to build solutions that prioritize agents and CLI-first coding practices instead of forcing our developers to open Xcode.

So we came back to the original question:

How can we give Claude access to “Previews” without ever opening Xcode?

Solution

We wanted to emulate the preview experience for Claude. This meant our requirements were:

1. Very quick builds:
   1. One of Preview's greatest benefits is hot reloading, allowing developers to iterate on views extremely quickly
2. No Navigation
   1. We want only our view/component to show up. There is no need to navigate around the app to find your component

The idea we came up with was to build an app target on the fly based on the View's import statements. So a view such as this:

has two internal dependencies GrindrComponents and GrindrImages.  it has one external dependency SwiftUI. Therefore, we should be able to build a new app target with those 3 dependencies,  put our view in the ContentView, and then display it in a simulator. This should give us our two requirements:

• Very quick builds: Building a bare minimum app with only the required dependencies will give us far quicker builds than our monolithic app would
• No need to navigate: Since our view will be the thing in ContentView, there is no need to navigate around the app to find our component

Here is what we built. We added a new cli script called "preview <path-to-file>". The CLI script does the following:

• Locates our file
• Grabs all the imports
• Uses Xcodegen to build a target on the fly
• Renames your view's struct to match the template's entry point via regex and drops it into the
  template project
• Launches the app on a simulator

All the developer has to do is type ./grind preview /components/MyComponent.swift or ask Claude to "show a preview for that view we are building"

Compromises

You might be wondering, "but what if my View requires a ViewModel or observable object?". This is one of the tradeoffs we made for our preview command. Instead of relying on a concrete observable object (like a ViewModel), we've updated our documentation to rely more on protocols that describe the observable object. This means we do not have to chase down the entire dependency chain. Everything the view needs is defined in this one file.

This also is in line with another one of our core philosophies, that not every view needs an observable object or a ViewModel. Often times, the less publishing and observability you can add, the more predictable your components will be. A view that simply accepts data via init is a lot easier to reason about, test, ...etc.

Next Steps

There are several next steps one could take now that you have a hacky preview. You can have Claude use idb or other mcp's to take screenshots and interact with the simulator. In a follow-up blog post, we will describe some of the approaches and skills we've created to work with this preview command.

Since mid-2025, Grindr’s Product Engineering team has been on an aggressive journey to embed AI into every layer of how we build software. Six months in, the data is in — and it’s striking. Here’s what we learned.

The Headline: ~1.5x Productivity Gain, Across the Board

In January 2026, we surveyed 50 of our 65 engineers to understand how AI tools like Claude Code, Cursor, and Firebender are changing the way they work. The results paint a clear picture:

• 92% of engineers believe their productivity has increased by 1.5x or more
• 58% believe they’re operating at 2–3x their pre-AI output
• 94% are running 1–5 AI agents in parallel during a typical development session
• 64% use at least one agent for most of their working time

These aren’t aspirational targets — they’re self-reported numbers from engineers in the trenches, shipping real features every week.

What’s Actually Changed for Engineers

When we asked engineers to describe the single most valuable shift AI has brought to their work, five themes emerged clearly:

Speed and throughput. Task completion time has dropped by nearly 50% for many engineers. Faster iteration cycles mean we can test more ideas, ship more often, and recover from mistakes more quickly.

Parallelization. Instead of working through tasks one at a time, engineers are delegating work to agents and focusing their attention on higher-order architecture and design decisions. Context switching — one of engineering’s biggest hidden costs — is down significantly.

Automation of the mundane. Boilerplate code, unit test generation, code cleanup, small one-off tasks — AI handles these now. Engineers are freed up for the complex, judgment-intensive work that actually requires a human.

Faster debugging and code comprehension. AI can analyze a codebase, surface relevant files, and identify root causes faster than any manual search. This is especially valuable for engineers onboarding to unfamiliar systems.

Greater confidence and reach. Engineers are taking on projects they would have previously considered out of scope. AI acts as a force multiplier for individual capability — letting people move with confidence in areas where they might have previously hesitated.

Data Beyond the Survey

The self-reported data is compelling, but we also have hard numbers from our tooling:

Cursor AI alone is responsible for ~30% of the code we write. That’s a substantial share, and it reflects just how deeply integrated AI-assisted coding has become in our day-to-day workflow.

Our GitHub data corroborates this: there’s been a dramatic increase in the volume of code changes across all platforms. Engineers are making larger, more confident commits — a signal that they feel supported rather than stretched.

Where We’re Still Limited

Honest assessment matters as much as the wins. Our engineers called out real friction points:

• 60% feel limited by their ability to context switch effectively between multiple agents
• 42% want to add more agents but are still building the muscle for managing them
• 28% are hitting hardware constraints — not enough screen space or compute to run the workflows they want
• 20% don’t yet fully trust agents to auto-deploy without human review

These aren’t blockers — they’re a roadmap.

What We’re Going After Next

When we asked engineers what would take AI usage to the next level, four priorities emerged:

Standardization and shared practices. Teams have developed their own approaches organically, but we need clearer guidelines and documented patterns so agents can navigate our codebase more reliably — and so we’re not duplicating effort across teams.

Training, demos, and dedicated experimentation time. The AI space is moving fast. Engineers want structured time to learn, experiment, and share what’s working. Workshops, a training budget, and regular knowledge-sharing sessions are at the top of the wish list.

More autonomous agents. The next frontier is fully agentic automation — bug fixing, SDK updates, UI-to-code generation, and enhanced code review handled end-to-end by agents. We’re early here, but that’s the direction.

Better tooling and integrations. Engineers want access to more models (Gemini, Grok Code), stronger MCP connectivity with tools like Figma and GitHub, and a faster path to getting new integrations approved and deployed.

Key Takeaways

The shift is real and measurable. AI has fundamentally changed the volume and velocity of code our team produces. Lines of code and PR counts are imperfect proxies — but the confidence engineers feel taking on larger, more complex changes is a meaningful signal.

The next challenge isn’t adoption. It’s intentionality. As we scale up agent usage, we need to be more rigorous about code review, quality gates, and the processes that keep our codebase healthy even as output accelerates.

We’re just getting started. Come join us!

This post summarizes findings from our January 2026 AI Usage Report, based on a survey of 50 Product Engineering team members. Data from Cursor and GitHub internal tooling was also included.

March 1 marks #ZeroDiscriminationDay — a reminder that health is not a privilege; it’s a right. 

For LGBTQ+ communities, discrimination often shows up in quiet but consequential ways: a provider who isn’t affirming. A clinic visit that feels unsafe. Confusion about insurance eligibility. Fear of being judged when asking about PrEP. Or deciding not to seek care at all.

At Grindr for Equality (G4E), in partnership with the International Treatment Preparedness Coalition (ITPC), we are working to reduce those barriers by turning Grindr into a digital doorway to trusted, community-led HIV prevention and support services

After the success of Grindr’s HIV Self-Testing program — now active across 16 markets — we are expanding into Prevention Ecosystems: an approach that mobilizes demand for a full continuum of services, including HIV self-testing, in-person testing, PrEP, PEP, DoxyPEP, ART, harm reduction, and mental health support.

Zero discrimination means prevention must not only exist — it must be accessible, affordable, and safe.

When Digital Outreach Becomes Real-World Care in South Africa

In South Africa, our collaboration with Triangle Project & ANOVA shows how digital engagement translates into meaningful service access. Campaigns on Grindr increased awareness of STI testing, HIV self-testing, and crisis support services — and peer navigators are converting referrals into confirmed service connections, ensuring that outreach results in real follow-through.

Sharon Cox, Health and Support Services Manager at Triangle Project, reflects:

“When someone experiences violence or is afraid to walk into a clinic, the biggest hurdle is often that first step. Seeing affirming information in a space they already trust lowers that barrier. We’ve seen people reach out sooner through Grindr — and that can change everything.”

This is what a rights-based approach looks like in action: lowering barriers before harm compounds and ensuring people can exercise their right to care.

Lowering Barriers Before Someone Walks Through the Door in Colombia

In Colombia, our partnership with Red Somos demonstrates how digital tools can reach individuals who might otherwise remain invisible.

Through a chatbot linked to Grindr, users can engage privately by asking questions about HIV testing, PrEP, ART, STI services, and mental health support without immediately disclosing their identity in person. For many, that digital buffer is what makes outreach possible.

As Miguel Barriga, Executive Director at Red Somos shared:

“Many people want PrEP but assume it’s unaffordable or complicated. When they connect with us through Grindr, we can explain their options and guide them through enrollment. Often, what feels impossible becomes manageable once someone has trusted support.”

Prevention Ecosystems are designed to generate interest and dismantle the quiet obstacles of fear, bureaucracy, and affordability.

Strengthening Prevention Pathways in Asia

In Vietnam, we work closely with Lighthouse to integrate HIV self-testing, PrEP education, and mental health outreach into ongoing campaigns. Through regular in-app messaging, Lighthouse now distributes hundreds of HIV self-test kits nationwide each month, ensuring prevention remains visible and accessible throughout the year.

Similarly, in the Philippines, our collaboration with Sustained Health Initiatives of the Philippines (SHIP) includes weekly national HIV self-testing and tele-PrEP campaigns across more than ten cities. These efforts are driving measurable increases in PrEP uptake, with a surge in new clients following targeted promotional outreach on Grindr.

Preparing for Long-Acting Prevention — Without Repeating Old Mistakes

As the HIV prevention landscape evolves, long-acting tools such as lenacapavir hold significant promise. For some individuals, long-acting injectable prevention may reduce daily pill burden, increase discretion, and better align with their lives.

But innovation alone does not eliminate discrimination. Unlike HIV self-tests — which can be used privately — injectable prevention requires facility-based visits. That means engaging directly with providers and clinic environments that may not always be LGBTQ-competent or affirming. 

As Tung Doan, Executive Director of Lighthouse, said, 

“We saw this during the early rollout of oral PrEP. Uptake was often slowed not by lack of demand, but by stigma in clinical settings. Scale improved when community-based distribution models expanded, when peer education increased, and when providers received culturally competent training.”

In addition, long-acting injectable prevention is significantly more expensive at rollout than existing oral options, raising urgent questions about pricing, insurance coverage, and global access.

If long-acting prevention is to reach those most affected by HIV, we must:

• Strengthen LGBTQ-competent provider training
• Expand community-linked referral and navigation systems
• Advocate for pricing and procurement models that do not exclude low- and middle-income countries
• Use digital platforms to normalize and educate early

Designing Access Into the Rollout

Grindr connects millions of gay, bi, trans, and queer adults globally. Through Grindr for Equality, we are using that reach responsibly — amplifying trusted community partners who ensure that prevention is delivered with dignity.

On Zero Discrimination Day, we reaffirm a simple principle:

Innovation must narrow gaps — not widen them.
Care must be affirming.
And prevention must reach everyone. 

When connection is paired with community leadership, intentional design and resources, we move closer to a world where discrimination no longer determines who can exercise their right to health.

Forget about “open relationship (one ugly)”. In recent years, it seems a new gay couple stereotype has dropped: “open relationship (both miserable)”.

Anyone who has spent much time in the gay community knows this type. Gay couples, typically in their late 20s or early 30s, who have dated for 5+ years. Often, these men met when they were young, sometimes even while coming out, and they’ve navigated significant life roadblocks together. Now, they’ve got good jobs, share an apartment, and have mutual friends. Sometimes they’re married or have a dog, and yet, at some point in their relationship, the joy withered away. They started fighting, the sex got worse (or stopped altogether), and then came the open relationship question. Wouldn’t it be more progressive to become open? Humans weren’t meant to be monogamous anyway, were they? 

But as is often the case, the open relationship didn’t fix the problem, it just dragged more people into it. Ask any single cosmopolitan gay man, and they’ll tell you horror stories of meeting a new love interest at a party or on Grindr, only to learn later they’ve been hooking up or “dating” a man who conveniently never brought up his boyfriend of nine years. It’s got to the point where even TikTokers are issuing a “PSA” about the “epidemic.” It seems clear to everyone but the couple that the relationship has run its course, yet a breakup never seems to be an option. (If anything, this is a surefire sign a wedding is on the horizon.) 

So why do so many gay men seem trapped in dead relationships, and why does breaking up with a longtime boyfriend seem so impossible? 

Well, part of the answer could be trauma. Michael Pezzullo, LMFT, a California therapist who specifically works with gay men, tells Grindr that, “A first serious relationship isn’t just a boyfriend—it’s a lifeline. After years of emotional turmoil, secrecy, or rejection, the relationship offers something they’ve been desperately longing for: safety.” For many gay men, the safety of their long-term relationship can overpower any internal issues because they are terrified of letting go of once-necessary support. 

Another element at play is that, typically, gay men have less practice breaking up than their straight counterparts. While straight people often date throughout high school and college, learning to process breakups along the way, gay men tend to come out later, and so when they do come out, they find acceptance by fitting themselves into what New York psychotherapist Brian Spitulnik, LMSW, calls “a heteronormative framework.” 

“When [young gay men] do find partnership, they may fast-track emotional commitment without yet having a clear sense of their own adult identity,” Spitulnik says. “As both partners grow, differentiation is inevitable, but some couples interpret that growth as a problem rather than a sign of maturation. If we’re not growing together, we must be growing apart.” 

While high school relationships, more often than not, lead to growing apart and teach young straight people that it can be good to end things and move on, gay men can enter their 30s, still seeing a breakup as a failure, rather than as a sign of growth.

Another key difference between straight couples and their gay counterparts is the cultural acceptance of an open relationship. While the move is still taboo for many heterosexuals, studies have shown that upwards of 30% of gay men are in open relationships. This presents a tantalizing option for gay men in troubled monogamous relationships, even if therapists are clear that opening a relationship is rarely the answer. 

“If you’re in a relationship and you don’t feel like it’s working very well, the answer is don’t open it at that time,” Adam D. Blum MFT, the Founder and Director of Gay Therapy Center tells Grindr. “It’s just going to be putting kerosene on the fire. You’re going to have more resentment, misunderstanding, miscommunication, drama, and hurt.”

Pezzullo echoes that statement, saying, “Opening a relationship shouldn’t be a Hail Mary to save something that’s already broken.” 

This is not to say that open relationships are at all bad, but all three therapists I spoke with agree that open relationships work best when a couple’s relationship is already solid, and the pair has learned strong communication skills. 

“Opening a relationship amplifies whatever is already present,” Spitulnik says. “If there is security, it can expand freedom and honesty. If there is fragility, it tends to magnify it.”

Perhaps surprisingly, the root cause behind many open relationships is avoiding grief. Growing apart from someone you once considered the most important part of your life can be as devastating as it is necessary. 

“Opening a relationship sometimes allows couples to manage symptoms rather than address the underlying rupture,” Spitulnik says. “This can create the illusion that the relationship is still working because neither person has to face the loss directly. In that way, the grief of losing a connection that was vital in your life is buried and ignored.”

Perhaps the answer, then, is not to avoid breaking up, but learning to break up well. Blum says that, “a healthy breakup just means we honor the good.” Often, gay relationships serve as a safety net in ways that straight relationships don’t need to. A boyfriend is more than a romantic partner, but chosen family as well. There is so much beauty and love in young gay relationships that can be honored in a clean breakup. 

Ending a relationship well can leave both parties with positive memories, shared connections, and mutual appreciation, while allowing each to grow in their own way. It can also teach kindness, honesty, and understanding that will be vital for future relationships.

While breaking up is hard, perhaps it’s the best thing to do for you, for your boyfriend, and for everyone you keep matching with on dating apps.