The Skoliosexual Identity Unpacked: The Flag, the Facts, the Feels

If you’re unfamiliar with the term skoliosexual, you’re not alone. Even to much of the queer community, this sexual identity remains obscure and controversial. In fact, many argue that skoliosexual isn’t a sexuality at all but a fetish that’s harmful to members of the LGBTQ community.

But as the age-old saying goes, knowledge is power. Read on as we dive into skoliosexuality to see what it’s all about.

Skoliosexual meaning

Despite its name seeming similar to scoliosis, a chronic medical condition that causes the spin to curve, skoliosexuality refers to an attraction to people who don’t align with their assigned gender at birth (AGAB). The term originates from the Greek word skolios, meaning “crooked” (aka queer). Skoliosexual individuals may be attracted to nonbinary people, transgender people, or anyone who doesn’t exclusively identify as male or female.

Sounds straightforward, right? Keep reading.

The controversy of skoliosexuality

Some of our dear readers may have alarm bells going off in their heads right now regarding the implications of this term — understandably so. Sexuality generally describes someone’s sexual (and possibly romantic) proclivities based on the gender(s) they find attractive. The issue here is that “trans” is not a gender.

Trans men are men, and trans women are women — full stop. Many argue that skoliosexuality implies this is not the case, effectively othering trans people by saying they’re distinct from their cisgender counterparts. Just because someone sees trans people as different “in a good way” doesn’t make them an ally.

This phenomenon might sound familiar if you’ve spent time around transgender communities. There’s a less flattering word for cis people who are explicitly attracted to transness: chasers. Chasers fetishize trans sex partners, often projecting transphobic stereotypes onto people who just want to be seen and respected for who they are.

Some say skoliosexuality is just a nice way of dressing up the chaser phenomenon, but this isn’t universally true. After all, trans people may also identify as skoliosexual. Opponents of the term argue that this is still othering but acknowledge the many valid reasons a transgender person would only want to date other transgender people.

When a trans person seeks relationships with other trans people, it’s known as “T4T.” Trans people in T4T relationships may feel that only other trans people understand their experience and truly see them as their preferred gender. Still, this is a preference, not a sexuality, since (and we cannot stress this enough) “trans” is not a gender.

Skoliosexual flag

OK, phew, that was a lot of pretty heavy stuff. But regardless of your opinion on skoliosexuality, it’s important to know what it’s all about. So, let’s cool off with a little aside about the skoliosexual flag.

Pride flags come in all kinds of colors; that’s kind of the point. The skoliosexual flag employs a unique combo of yellow, green, white, and black horizontal stripes. Sometimes, a magenta heart outline resides in the center.

Comparing skoliosexuality to other sexual orientations

What makes skoliosexuality different from other sexual orientation options out there? Let’s look at the sexual orientations people most often conflate with skoliosexuality and get granular about who we’re getting it on with.

Skoliosexuality vs. ceterosexuality

Skoliosexuality is often conflated with the term ceterosexuality, but the two are fundamentally different.

Cetero (meaning “others” or “the rest”) refers to nonbinary and genderqueer people. These are specific gender identities just like man and woman, as opposed to the broad umbrella of transgender. Although skoliosexuality includes identities outside the binary in its definition, it does so while centering the person’s AGAB.

Conversely, ceterosexuals appreciate nonbinary people in the same way lesbians appreciate women and gay men appreciate men. In fact, people who identify as ceterosexual are often nonbinary or genderqueer themselves.

Skoliosexuality vs. pansexuality

Pansexuality describes attraction to people regardless of their gender or sex. Pansexual people don’t express any gender preference at all, and they certainly don’t care whether someone is nonbinary or trans. Their lovers and sex partners could be male, female, both, or neither.

Although skoliosexuality also doesn’t specify the gender of attraction, it does dictate that the preferred partner isn’t cis. In this way, skoliosexuals clearly aren’t “gender blind.”

Skoliosexuality vs. bisexuality

Bisexual people are most similar to pan individuals. However, bisexuality only specifies that a person is attracted to multiple genders — not necessarily all of them and not necessarily to the same degree. Unlike pansexuals, bisexual people may consider whether someone is a man, woman, or nonbinary when judging their attraction.

A skoliosexual person may be bisexual; nothing in the skoliosexual definition precludes attraction to multiple genders.

Is ceterosexuality part of your identity?

So, maybe you think skoliosexuality is a little problematic, but you do find yourself attracted to nonbinary people (and not because you see them as their AGAB). Do you think you might be ceterosexual? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Do you feel a strong attraction to individuals who identify or present as nonbinary?
• Do you feel yourself more drawn to genderfluid or genderqueer people, rather than those who fit within the gender binary (male/female)?
• Do you resonate with the idea of gender and sexuality both being fluid?
• Do you feel like other labels you’ve tried on before don’t speak to your experience?
• Do you find gendered expressions less attractive than those that ignore the gender binary?

If you’ve answered with a resounding “yes” to a few of these, it might be worth looking into ceterosexuality. The nuances of sexuality terms can be critical for understanding what you really want out of a sexual or romantic partner. Still, at the end of the day, you don’t need a label; you just need to be you.

How to support loved ones who identify as ceterosexual

Maybe you aren’t ceterosexual yourself, but you see a friend or family member in what we’re describing. Perhaps someone you love has just recently come out to you as ceterosexual. That’s great! Supporting them is easier than you think, although it requires you to be an active participant in learning about the experiences of sexual orientations other than your own.

The best way to support anyone is to show genuine interest through listening and learning. Educate yourself about nonbinary identities and what it means to be ceterosexual. Aside from that, remember to use inclusive language and respect a person’s chosen pronouns. Let your loved one know that you’ll provide a safe space where they can express their most authentic self.

And don’t just say talk the talk — walk it by standing up for them within social circles and encouraging conversations about identity and sexuality with your cisgender or straight peers. Supporting anyone in the LGBTQ community isn’t complicated; it just requires you to love and care for them while keeping an open mind — and maybe expanding the minds of those around you.

Are you enraptured by enbies? Tantalized by T4T?

We’re lucky to live in a time where so many gender expressions and sexual orientations are being recognized and celebrated. Still, it’s important to recognize when people are dressing up harmful ideas in flattering language. How you feel about skoliosexuality is up to you; just try to see people as they want to be seen — regardless of what’s in their pants.

Fetishizing transness isn’t cool, but there are plenty of other things we wholeheartedly encourage you to fetishize: bondage, balloons, furries, feet — whatever floats your consensual boat. That’s where Grindr comes in handy.

Whether you’re ceterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or pansexual, you better believe Grindr has a grid with precisely what you’re looking for. Download the Grindr app today to get started.