Why Does Sex Make You Sleepy? Reasons Your Man Feels Sleepy After Sex

Ever feel tired after flicking the proverbial bean? If so, you’re not alone. There’s something about sex that makes us horny for our beds — and not just because doing it on the couch is hard on the hips.

But what are the mechanisms pulling at our strings when it comes to sex and sleep? Let’s peek behind the curtain and see what our brains are up to post-coitus.

Why does sex make you sleepy?

So, why do guys fall asleep after they come? The reason why you or your partner feel like drifting off into slumber after sex has to do with biology. It also just makes sense; stress levels go down, and we’re already in bed (unless, you know, on the couch … or elsewhere), so we’re at our coziest.

So once the seminal fluids have found their way to the preordained towel, there’s not much left to do other than curl up in a ball and drift off to our dreams. 

It turns out there are quite a few contributors to the desire to doze off after a good dicking down.

Release of sleep-inducing hormones

The body releases a veritable cocktail of hormones during sex: oxytocin (the “cuddle” hormone) and prolactin are the two that spring to mind when discussing sex’s effect on your sleep. 

We enjoy cuddling so much because of oxytocin. It helps us feel connected and comfortable, making it easier to fall asleep. Prolactin comes from sexual satisfaction and acts as a sedative. Mix the two together, and you have the perfect storm for post-coital sleepiness.

Physical exhaustion

Sex is the perfect workout. All that bouncing and moaning elevates your heart rate and uses a lot of different muscle groups (you know the ones). This exertion can leave you feeling spent and ready to crash, much like after an intense gym session. 

It makes sense — the more vigorous the activity, the more likely you will need a nap afterward. So, if you feel tired after intimacy, it could be your body telling you it needs some recovery time.

Increase in melatonin levels

Sex can also boost melatonin, the hormone regulating sleep-wake cycles. Between the relaxation that follows orgasm and all that melatonin, your nut is nudging you toward a restful night’s sleep.

But this should come as no surprise. How many of us are masturbating before bed to fall asleep faster? Put those nondominant hands in the air! (We assume your dominant hand is busy.)

How does sleeping affect sex?

Sleep and sex have a symbiotic relationship. So, does sex help you sleep? Most likely, but quality sleep has an equal hand in your ability to perform sexually. Well-rested bodies are much more likely to experience higher libido and better stamina. 

Conversely, feeling zapped of your much-needed Z’s will leave you tired (duh), which isn’t a sexy place for the body. You’ll often feel less horny and even have difficulty achieving orgasm if you’re skimping on your precious sleep.

When should feeling sleepy after sex concern you?

So when does post-sex sleepiness go from being a typical experience to something that warrants a doctor’s visit? Here are a few examples of situations where you may want to pay closer attention to how you or your partner feels post-play:

Dizziness

If you frequently feel dizzy after sex, it may be a sign of underlying health issues, such as low blood pressure or dehydration. Although a little post-coital wooziness can be expected (especially if you’re doing it right), persistent dizziness warrants a conversation with your healthcare provider.

Post-sex blues

The French have a saying for that dip in consciousness after fornication: le petit mort, or “the little death.” But if your mort is more grand and your mood takes a nosedive, that could indicate you’re experiencing post-coital dysphoria (PCD). You might need better aftercare or perhaps a visit to a mental health professional.

Anxiety

Performance anxiety happens to the best of us. Persistent anxiety that impacts your ability to relax, however, could be a sign that you have unresolved issues, either with sex or with the person you’re having it with. Anxiety typically doesn’t translate well to sleepiness, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive. It could be your body shutting down because it’s overwhelmed.

Unexplained fatigue

Being excessively tired after sex, more so than what feels normal, could indicate an underlying health problem, like sleep apnea. Don’t automatically assume this is Post-Bone Sleepy Syndrome (trademark Grindr 2024); talk with your doctor to see what’s up.

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How to improve sleep and sexual performance

Want to get better sleep and have better orgasms? Fortunately, focusing on one will often benefit the other. Let’s look at honing your boning, unencumbering your slumbering, and staving off excessive sleepiness.

Establish a routine

A consistent sleep schedule will change your life — including how you show up in the bedroom. Regulate your body’s internal clock to make sexual activity both easier and more enjoyable for you.

Limit caffeine and alcohol

Caffeine obviously impacts your ability to fall asleep and the quality of your rest (not to mention the taste of your nut). And despite being touted as a social lubricant for potential sexual connections, alcohol can make ejaculating harder by making you softer. Although it can make you sleepy, alcohol consumption also lowers the quality of your sleep.

Create a relaxing environment

Make your bedroom a sanctuary for sleep and intimacy. Dim the lights, keep the room cool, and eliminate distractions. You want a peaceful atmosphere in there, whether you’re dreaming or creaming.

Stay active

To no one’s surprise, physical activity is good for absolutely everything. Exercise will pretty much always boost your libido and help you sleep better. It also releases feel-good hormones, like dopamine, helping you get in the mood. First, you get jacked; then, you get ejaculating. It’s basic science.

Fall asleep after sex, not because of it

You can pillow talk the talk, but can you pillow walk the walk? Put your sleep apnea mouth guard where your mouth is and prioritize your sleep if you want those prolactin levels to spike like your morning wood. 

Whether you get there via sex, masturbation, or even cuddling, your brain deserves a good night’s rest — and an orgasmic appetizer, just for good pleasure. If you’re looking for a cuddle buddy, look no further than Grindr. Download the Grindr app today and get started.