Holetox Saved My Bussy (And Sex Life)

In 1969, we put a man on the moon. Nearly six decades later, we now have Botox for your butt, and it might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to my hole (and my identity as a vers prince). It’s called Holetox, and if you’ve ever struggled with bottoming because your ass is too tight (pain! blood! tears!), this could be a BIG game changer. (To be clear, I’m not a doctor, just a slut who found success with medical advice—don’t skip your own consult!)

Not to “flex,” but I used to have a tight sphincter, like a really tight sphincter. This wasn’t a hair flip moment; it was actually a problem, particularly when I wanted to bottom. Often, it felt like no amount of lube solved the issue, and even when I dilated prior—using small toys to stretch myself out—I was still never loose enough. So, for years, bottoming often hurt and was frequently accompanied by blood from anal fissures (i.e., a small rectal tear in the lining of my anus).

Understanding Rectal Fissures and Bottoming Pain

Guys on Grindr often got really upset when I told them I couldn’t bottom for them. They’d demand to know why, which, frankly, they shouldn’t have asked. It’s sorta like asking someone why they’re not drinking alcohol. There’s just no reason to do it. Respect people’s choices without being nosy. I already felt guilt and shame for not being able to bottom. I know I shouldn’t have felt that way—if you don’t want to bottom for any reason, I know that’s valid—but still, I felt shame. What can I say? I’m human. 

In truth, I didn’t wanna bottom because it hurt (and I often had anal fissures—my unending fissure—in part because the muscles surrounding my asshole were so tight, and the sphincter skin would tear while bottoming or pooping). And while in “theory” I like the idea of a Dom top destroying my hole, in practice, I’m not trying to be impaled.

I was in this frustrating middle ground. I didn’t want to stop bottoming. Bottoming was and still is very important to me. It’s not just about the pleasure. It’s about feeling connected to my queer identity. It’s like, there’s nothing gayer than having a man’s dick in your butt, ya know? Still, I never considered a botulinum toxin injection back then. 

Meeting the Butt Doctor (and Discovering Holetox)

So I still bottomed, breathing through the pain—accepting the rectal fissure as my fate, my burden to bear. That was until I met Evan Goldstein, D.O., founder of Bespoke Surgical and author of Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between.

Goldstein is THE butt doctor and a botulinum toxin injection wizard. All the OnlyFans gays you follow who get fisted? Trust me, they have Dr. Goldstein checking out their holes and sphincters. Dr. Goldstein analyzed my behind and informed me I actually had a chronic rectal anal fissure that needed to be surgically removed. Once that bad boy was removed and I was healed (it’s an annoying three-month healing process), he then told me that because my sphincter muscles were so naturally tight, I should try holetox. He recognized that my fissure needed more than just a quick fix.

What Does Rectal Botox (Holetox) Actually Do?

When I first heard the term “holetox,” I couldn’t help but laugh. It sounded absurd, reminding me of when “perineum sunning” was popular. (Remember when guys would sit in the sun with their legs scrunched behind their heads in a pretzel, getting direct sunlight on their taints?) But this was medical, Dr. Goldstein assured me. It’s not for aesthetics. “Anal Botox (botulinum toxin) allows relaxation of the internal anal sphincter muscles as well as the overlying skin it’s applied to accomplish relaxation,” he said. In fact, it’s why nearly all insurances actually cover administering botox anally. “I’ve seen it change people's lives, so why shouldn’t it be covered?” Goldstein said. “Holetox helps people with chronic tearing (causing anal fissures), spasms, hemorrhoid prevention, and people who struggle with IBS.”

So, I decided to give it a try. I headed into his office. He had me drop my pants and sit on the examination table with my bare butt over the side. He then injected me four times. I’ll be honest: It’s kind of painful, but they’re also quick shots. Within a minute, he was done injecting me. It takes about a week for the botulinum toxin to take effect fully, but within a few days, I knew my hole had loosened because I was a farting machine—hilariously loud bubbly farts (that luckily didn’t smell foul).

This is to be expected, Goldstein warned. “Within the first few weeks, you may notice more gas than normal.” But don’t worry; you’re not going to have incontinence and shit yourself while walking down the street or anything like that, Goldstein clarified.

Some Caveats for Your Hole

Goldstein also noted that holetox, by itself, isn’t a panacea for your sex life. For example, in my case, I had to get the anal fissure surgically removed. If I hadn’t and just had the botulinum toxin injection, I’d still be in pain while bottoming.

“There are a lot of medspas who offer facial Botox and think: this is just another part of the body we can inject Botox into,” Goldstein says. “However, anal botulinum toxin injections require proper evaluation to ensure the procedure meets your needs and expectations.” Goldstein goes through a full sexual history and conducts an anoscopic and anorectal examination (using a microscope to assess internal and external sphincters and structures) and an anorectal manometry (to measure anal pressures). These evaluations help Goldstein understand an individual’s anatomy, assess muscle function, and determine the optimal botulinum toxin injection dosing and treatment plan. “As you can tell, this isn’t like getting Botox in the face to address crow’s feet or forehead wrinkles,” Goldstein says.

The first time I bottomed, roughly two weeks after my first round of holetox, I was shocked by how well it worked. No blood. No pain. And it felt incredible. I could take dick for a solid thirty minutes (before, I used to max out at like five minutes).

Now, I’m on my third round of anal botox (the effects last about three months, so you have to keep going in for botulinum toxin injections). I can confidently say I feel more empowered to take dick than ever before. I am finally able to live out my slutty bottom fantasy, no longer in pain, no longer worried about being too tight, no longer having to explain to nosy gays why I can’t bottom even though I list I’m “vers” on the app. I can just leave my door unlocked and be face down, ass up, waiting for you.