How to Become a Femboy: A Comprehensive Transformation Guide

So, you’re confident you’re a boy, but then you close your eyes and picture your ideal gender expression. Suddenly, things are looking a lot more feminine.

What does it mean if you’re into dressing and looking more feminine? How should you identify? And how do you start living more like the feminine boy in your dreams?

Well, you could always combine the two — embrace the boy and the fem to create one of nature’s most powerful genders: the femboy. But learning how to become a femboy is easier said than done.

Heading purse-first into a femboy-filled life might be for you if you wanna dress more feminine and flip your hair at society’s notion of what it means to be a man. And (fem)boy, are you in for a treat once you discover just how freeing (and frankly, comfy) skirts can be. 

What is a femboy?

A femboy is someone who deliberately blurs the line between more masculine and feminine gender expressions. It’s somewhat similar to those who consider themselves androgynous or gender-neutral. But femboys desire to align with traditional feminine elements like wearing makeup, feminine clothing, perfume, and even wigs — all while retaining a masculine identity (at least on the inside).

Femboys don’t necessarily share a particular sexuality or sexual preference. Femboys can be attracted to any gender or even be asexual. Like many — arguably most — people, their gender identity is more divorced from their sexual orientation than anyone would give them credit for.

You might hear this and assume that the average femboy is reminiscent of the crossdressers of yore, and that’s for good reason. Femboys are more akin to crossdressers than drag queens; it’s about expressing gender identity more than putting on a character for performance. That said, like anything gay, there’s a lot of overlap depending on the person and how they choose to identify.

Steps for becoming a femboy

How can you go from serving masculine tea to feminine with a capital C? Here’s our 12-step femboy guide to have you turning looks and stunting pretty — even if you’re not the bitch from New York City. 

1. Start with small changes

Rome wasn’t built in a day — nor was any femboy’s wardrobe. Going all-in to your femboy transformation can feel good, but it won’t necessarily going to yield the best results. You’re often better off making minor adjustments first to see what’s right for you. Otherwise, you might find that your changes don’t resonate with you as much as you’d hoped. And some items are final sale at Nordstrom Rack.

2. Find the right clothes

Speaking of racks, find some nice clothes to fit yours! You don’t need a full-on pocket bra (although it’ll certainly help with the feminine presentation); just try out some traditionally feminine clothing.

Try wearing a choker to Whole Foods. Paint your nails for a company picnic. And yes, wear a very mindful, very demure Hello Kitty sundress to your bestie’s piano recital. Seriously, this is the time to throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks, so don’t hold back!

3. Say hey to lingerie

Is there anything sexier than some good lingerie? A matching bra and panty set can seriously feminize your femboy experience, even if you’re the only one who knows it’s there.

Feminine clothes are already on the expensive side, and lingerie is no exception. However, those of you who are flirting with femboyishness but don’t feel confident enough to rock the side scrunchie might find underwear to be incredibly affirming and acceptably private. Worried about finding the right fit and don’t want to go in person? Comb through online reviews to find a size that will fit just right. 

4. Try makeup

“It’s so muggy out here.” — you when you decide to beat your face for the gawds with some blush and tinted chapstick.

But seriously, makeup can do a lot to help you feel more in tune with your femboy aura. Try following a whole makeup tutorial from a YouTube beauty guru. Of course, there’s no rule saying makeup makes you innately more feminine. However, you’ll probably feel more like a word that rhymes with hunty if you don some eyeliner and a red lip before you leave the house today. Maybe it is Maybelline, but there’s only one way to find out.

5. Try a spritz of perfume

It doesn’t have to be Good Girl; even Calgon will work in a pinch. But a few quick spritzes of a more feminine-leaning scent can sell the fantasy — even to yourself.

Femininity isn’t shackled to any one scent, either, but it might help to find a perfume with some sweet, citrusy, or even candy note. The question is: What do you want your femboy side to really smell like? 

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6. Embrace your feminine side

Feeling the urge to cross your legs in public? Give in. Listen to the little devil on your shoulder telling you to do everything “like a girl.” Because she can be your angle or yuor devil. So, get the pumpkin spice latte. You know you want to.

7. Build confidence in your femininity

The art of male-to-femboy transformation is all about how you carry yourself. Building confidence as a femboy doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to feel comfortable putting on a new persona, even if it’s more in line with how you want to be perceived. Plenty of masculine men feel threatened by femininity because of widespread misogyny running throughout society. Fight back by being yourself and ferociously living that truth without apology.

8. Refine your voice

Designer feminine clothes and makeup can take you pretty far, but it doesn’t hurt to tweak the pitch up a few half-steps if you’re sounding more basso profundo than femme fatale. There’s no shortage of busty babes with husky voices in the world, and some of them are as femme as they come (just ask Dr. Girlfriend). Still, it could be good practice to raise the pitch of your voice to be more feminine. 

9. Body hair? Where?

If we’re talking about society’s idea of traditional femininity, then that might also include culling every last body hair on your legs and armpits (and chest, and back, and… you get the idea). Femboys also have the uphill battle of taming their facial hair.

Veteran femboys may tell you shaving or waxing is all part of the process of embracing your femininity. But we’ll just say your mileage may vary with this one, particularly if you’re trying to maintain fragments of masculinity with certain aspects of your life.

10. Experiment with different hairstyles and colors

The manic pixie dream femboy you aspire to be is often only a periwinkle bob away. Whether you have short or long hair, there’s always a way to up the feminine ante and serve more femboy. Not fond of the idea of cutting or dying your hair? Hi, wig! And if you’re already blessed with long hair, you’d best treat that unit right. It’s human, after all. 40 inches.

11. Find your people (probably other femboys, TBH)

You’ll need all kinds of support on your gender expression journey. Ideally, you’ll find people who can walk a mile in your fishnets. A squad of androgynous folx or even just those open to discussions about gender identity can make a big difference in how confident you feel embracing your feminine side. It doesn’t hurt to have some friends your size with feminine clothes, either, if they’re willing to share or trade.

12. Love and accept yourself

Self-love and self-confidence might go to the same school, but they’re in entirely different grades. Self-love is the pinnacle of acceptance and something everyone should cultivate, regardless of how they present. Especially for femboys, embracing what you love about your gender expression is a big part of the journey. It might not involve a cute crop top, but self-love looks good on everyone.

From one of the hundred boys in bars to a femininomenon

A final tip as we round out this male-to-femboy transformation guide: Don’t compare yourself to others. Just do whatever feels right to you. Gender is a construct anyway, and you can do as many or as few of these steps as you’d like and still call yourself a femboy. No one can stop you.

That said, at least trying these steps can help you determine what adjustments feel good and which you can rest gently on the vanity. Have fun with the journey to becoming a femboy, and don’t dim your light, diva!

Are you a femboy or someone who appreciates the femboy form? You’ll find everything from love to lust when you strut your stuff on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started.