Twink Death: Is the party really over?

Death is an inevitable part of life. But for some, the grim reaper doesn’t just come knockin’ — he duckwalks toward you to take you out at the knees before he’s ready for the rest of you.

That’s the concept behind the phenomenon of the twink death. The esteemed title of twink seems to have an expiration date in the LGBTQ community. And once you’re done, your glitter will return to the earth. As Elton John would say, “It’s the ciiircle of liiife!”

Self-proclaimed twinks reading this in a cold sweat, don’t despair. Your mesh tops will still fit, and you can keep being Brat. Because a twink death is only a death if you resist the impetus to change and grow. Let’s explore twink death to determine whether it’s really that big of a deal — and why one twink’s loss is another bear’s gain.

But first, what is a twink?

Before we instill the fear of God into you about gay mortality, let’s define some terms. A twink is a slang term for a youthful gay man who has a slim, boyish look to him. The quintessential twink often doesn’t sport much body hair, either.

Beyond their physical characteristics, there are several stereotypes about twink behavior — some less flattering than others. One Urban Dictionary entry put it rather harshly, saying the typical twink “dresses in clubwear even at 10 a.m. and is not particularly intelligent.” They’re also widely assumed to be submissive bottoms in the bedroom (if not full-on pillow princes).

We aren’t keen on the limiting and often derogatory connotations some attach to the term, but twink can be useful — even validating — as a neutral identifier. Plenty of people self-ID as twinks and take pride in the label.

Many point to Timothee Chalamet as the archetypal twink (at least for the body type). Troye Sivan also comes to mind. He’s literally pictured at the top of the Wikipedia article on the topic, after all. But that sort of youthful glow doesn’t last forever. So, what is twink death?

Defining the twink death trend

The term has circulated on internet forums for nearly a decade, but twink death’s meaning wasn’t widely known until late 2022. It all kicked off when a Twitter user posted side-by-side pics of Leonardo DiCaprio from several decades apart. The Oscar-winning actor had a youthful glow in the first picture — a twinkle, even. The second photo shows a twink-to-DILF transition that we personally love, but not everyone seems to be on board.

As the Twitter user said in their caption, “Twink death is a terrifying thing.”

The tweet went viral, now boasting over 100 million views. The term was quickly adopted by other Twitter users comparing former twink actors’ youthful appearances to their current looks — which are usually still pretty attractive, considering they’re celebrities. Evidently, you don’t even have to be gay to experience a twink death.

Since these tweets have been twote, there’s been plenty of discourse around ageism. It’s easy to see why the term “twink death” could raise some well-groomed eyebrows among the elder (i.e., thirty-something) gay community. 

“Death” seems rather harsh, but many of the self-identified twinks who piled on really see it that way. They consider fine lines and a five-o’clock shadow to be terrifying harbingers of doom. Out here in the real world, we know that the fading of one’s boyish appearance doesn’t warrant a mid-life crisis.

{{video-inline-cta}}

The problematic side of twink death

What makes the concept of twink death problematic? For starters, the slang implies that anyone in the LGBTQ community who isn’t a twink is less than others. When you act like losing your twinkiness is the most terrifying thing possible, it implies that “young twink” is the best thing you can be. To those who seriously use this term, any other type of gay man might as well be dead. Big yikes.

There’s also the apparent ageism in a tweet like this, which is a glaring issue. Leonardo DiCaprio got old? How very sad! Who will ever find such a man desirable again? Certainly not his unending string of early-twenties supermodel girlfriends.

One more point to make before stepping off this soap box: There’s an element of fatphobia to this kind of verbiage. Twink death is often ascribed to men who simply gained weight over the years. This becomes even more obvious when you see how many commenters on the original post mention Leonardo DiCaprio’s weight gain as a significant factor in his supposed twink death. Painting this as an inherently bad thing implies thinness is somehow better.

The silver daddy lining to such slang

There’s a counter to the ick about the term “twink death.” Many Twitter users are now putting a spin on it and calling it a “DILF birth.” People of all ages and body types can be sexy, even if the judgy side of the online LGBTQ community makes that hard to see at times.

So, we’ve got great news for those of you worried about twink death: Plenty of guys will be into the daddy or bear version of you. Many find Leo sexier than ever. And besides, sex appeal and stereotypes aren’t everything. You don’t need to be a lithe twink, burly bear, or grizzled silver fox; you can just be you.

Age is just a number, darling

You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating: You shouldn’t fight the changes that come with time. Aging is a beautiful process that you’re lucky to experience! And who knows? Maybe you’ll graduate directly into daddy status.

Not to mention, you gain all that sexy wisdom. As you age, you realize that beauty standards are as healthy as a real-life Twinkie. And if you’re a young whippersnapper reading this between TikTok dances and yeeting your skibidis, be kind and don’t age shame. You’ll get older just like everyone else, and that’s not something to hide or malign. It’s something to celebrate.

Twink, DILF, twunk, or GILF — no matter your label, you’ll find someone who likes you exactly as you are on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started!