Soap, Steam, and Scene: Your Gay Bathhouse Survival Guide

Gay bathhouses are a historical landmark in the community. Sure, many were built as a place to shower off and relax, like any other public bathhouse. But they’ve now evolved into (or arguably always have been) a place where the steam room isn’t the only thing fogging up the windows.

We’re talking about sex — also known as wet cruising, if you prefer the technical term for getting studs and suds in a gay sauna. Although gay bathhouses have a rich history and carry immense cultural significance, they’re still often considered a taboo subject that most people (including gay people) would rather not discuss.

But then, how are you supposed to learn the ins and outs of gay sauna cruising? Do you need to bring your own towel? Is there a lifeguard on duty?

That’s what Auntie Grindr is here for. We’ll walk you through what amenities to expect, the proper etiquette for your visit, and the best places to socialize with horny hunks.

What is a gay bathhouse, and how does it work?

Gay bathhouses offer a range of different amenities. They most commonly feature steam rooms, saunas, and showers. Some might provide other bathing options, but that’s generally the bare minimum for these spaces. Others might have hot tubs for you to soak in and lounging areas to mingle with others — a thinly veiled code for “have sex.”

You can expect a laid-back atmosphere where clothing is usually optional — and most men have chosen to opt out. You’ll pay a fee to get in, which gives you access to the amenities for a certain amount of time. A bathhouse is meant to be a place of comfort and discretion, allowing everyone within its hallowed halls to explore the space safely and consensually.

Explore what’s inside a gay bathhouse

Let’s talk about what you can expect to see in a gay bathhouse other than baths and gays (although there’ll be plenty of both).

Jacuzzis

Jacuzzis are standard in many bathhouses now. They offer a fantastic space to unwind and socialize with others. Plus, those warm water jets and the intimate atmosphere really help you build some of that gay “community” we’re always talking about.

Showers

Cleanliness is paramount in a bathhouse, so it makes sense there’d be both baths and showers for guests to freshen up. Some also provide private shower stalls for you to, well, freshen down as you prepare for your upcoming experience.

Steam rooms

The gay steam room or sauna is another bathhouse staple. Steam rooms offer another place to connect with others in a laid-back setting. Only this time, you’ll be groping around in a thick cloud of steam. Very mysterious!

Dark rooms

Some people really like an air of mystery. For such folk, we bring you from the steam bath to the dark rooms. These spaces are reserved pretty much exclusively for sex. You might not be able to see anything, but trust us — you’ll feel it.

Lockers

Most bathhouses offer lockers for their guests to store any belongings. A private locker is a great place to keep the important stuff safe, leaving you free to enjoy yourself without worrying about what’ll happen to it.

Lounging areas

This is the place to go if you’re trying to steer clear of all the sopping-wet stimuli from the baths. It’s mostly just a place to sit and have some water, but they’re pretty cozy! And it’s not a bad place to ask for a back massage, either.

Gay bathhouse etiquette

The gay bathhouse experience can be liberating — but only if you understand the written and unwritten etiquette of public baths first. This is vital information to ensure you have a positive experience and keep others around you feeling safe and comfy, too.

Undress to impress

Most people choose to get naked or wear minimal clothing. Leave your inhibitions at the door and your undies in the locker room. That’s what you’re here for, right? If you’re feeling a bit too exposed, you can always wear a towel and leave something up to the imagination.

Keep it down in there

Conversation and other such noises (e.g., grunts, braying, barking) should remain at a low volume, even in private rooms. Even though these public bathhouses can be a space for casual or anonymous gay sex, some people are literally just trying to relax.

Consent is key

The one thing guests don’t check at the door in a gay bathhouse is consent. All rules that would apply to sex anywhere else apply here. Get explicit consent before engaging, respect personal boundaries, and ensure everyone is comfortable with what’s happening.

Everyone’s serving “looks”

“The Look” is something you might see at a gay bathhouse. It’s hard to describe, but you’ll know it when you see it. It’s someone signaling that they’re interested in or attracted to you. Now, whether or not you return it is entirely your call.

Don’t lose your manners in the dark

Etiquette still exists when you’re engaging in gay bathhouse sex in the dark rooms and private rooms. Respect the space and keep things consensual. You wouldn’t think this would be necessary to mention twice, but things can get kinda blurry when people think of dark rooms. It shouldn’t. It’s the same as anywhere else.

Practice good hygiene

Time to shower, stinky! This is a communal spa area where everyone is usually naked, so personal cleanliness is crucial. Shower and towel off before you enter any facilities to keep those places clean as well. No one wants your outside germs in the hot tub or pool.

Be respectful of others’ privacy

They call it “The Look,” not “The Stare.” Respect the privacy of other bathers in the public baths, and don’t intrude on personal moments unless you were explicitly asked to.

Know when to leave

If someone isn’t interested in scrub-a-dub-dubbing your tub, that’s completely OK. Gracefully and respectfully move on to someone who is. It’s not personal, and you have to respect others’ boundaries if you’re going to participate in gay bathhouse sex or other casual sexual activities.

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Just the tips: More helpful advice

Here are a few more suggestions for the uninitiated gay men out there to bone up on before a visit to a gay sauna and spa:

• Go in with an open mind and be ready to experience new things
• Drink lots of water, especially if you’re using hot tubs or steam rooms
• Visit during off-peak hours if you want a quieter experience with fewer bathers
• Ask the staff for guidance if you have any questions

One final quick tip: You’re always free to leave if you get uncomfortable. Nothing has to be your bag, and there’s no shame in removing yourself from an unpleasant situation. The baths are not for everyone, but there’s no harm in trying if you’re interested.

The best gay bathhouses in the world

Now that you’re good and ready for your upcoming trip to a gay bathhouse, why not jump into the deep end of the pool by visiting one of the most iconic in the world?

North Hollywood Spa — Los Angeles, California

North Hollywood Spa is a well-known gay sauna in Los Angeles featuring a variety of amenities, including a gym, dry saunas, steam rooms, and a 24-hour cafe. The welcoming atmosphere and diverse clientele make it a popular choice for locals and visitors alike.

Macho Sauna — Brussels, Belgium

Across the pond in Brussels, Macho Sauna offers a modern and vibrant environment with multiple relaxation areas, a jacuzzi, and a bar. This bathhouse is known for its cleanliness and friendly staff, making it an excellent spot for socializing and maybe discovering why they call it “Macho.” 

Adam Sauna — Rome, Italy

Adam Sauna is a renowned gay bathhouse destination in Italy, offering a luxurious experience with high-end amenities. Guests can enjoy various facilities, including private rooms, a bar, and themed events that cater to all sorts of preferences. This is an excellent destination for partners (or groups!) who want a memorable gay bathhouse experience.

Pleasuredome Spa Bar — London, England

What’s your pleasure? You’ll find out in this popular 24/7 gay sauna that London men love to frequent. Pleasuredrome is one of London’s largest gay bathhouses, featuring a wide array of amenities, including a swimming pool, saunas, masseurs, and a cafe bar.

Cum on in; the water’s fine!

Navigating your first gay bathhouse experience is easier than you think once you understand the rules and what to expect. And now that you’re well-versed in both, it’s time to sweat it all out with some other men, whether in the sauna or from having some hot, steamy sex. One will open up your pores, and the other will open your… well, you get the idea.

Want to meet someone who will open you up like a pool in late May? Find the pool boy of your dreams on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started.