Douching: How to Anal Douche Safely Before Sex
There are two types of people in the world: those who love douching and those who dread it.
The former consider it a sacred part of their pre-club preparations. They know they’re ready for a night out when the water runs clear. The latter think of it more like a rectal exam; it just has to get done. No matter which camp you fall into, this guide will help you clean yourself out with confidence so you can get dicked down without making a mess.
What is anal douching?
Here’s one for the Francophiles: “Douche” is derived from the French word for shower. Don’t let the fancy etymology fool you, though. You can stick as many berets and Breton stripes on it as you like; it still means cleaning out your ass. And there’s no point in being squeamish either — it’s just part and parcel of anal sex.
Douching involves using a device — perhaps an enema bulb douche or a fleet enema kit — to give your anal canal a gentle cleanse. More specifically, you’re cleaning out the lower part of the rectum, which holds poop. It can be done for medical reasons, but most gays know it as a time-honored lovemaking ritual.
Not everyone douches before sex. Some guys rely on a healthy diet and a can-poo attitude to stay clean. And if you’re skittish about sticking anything up there for fear of an accident, there are plenty of non-penetrative ways to have sex.
How to douche safely
For most bottoms, anal douching is a normal part of any day when they expect to have sex — whether they’re prepping for a booty call, a date with their partner, or a trip to the club. If you’re new to the process (or looking to brush up on your technique), we’ll cover the basics of how to prep for butt stuff.
1. Get into position
You’ll need to reach your hole easily, so standing with a raised leg can help. Just imagine you’re a Rockette or a dog with a full bladder. Another technique is to get down on all fours, doggy style. As long as you’re over something with drainage and water on hand, that’s what matters.
2. Gently slip the tube inside
However you’re douching, it can help to use a little bit of lube (opt for store-bought over homemade). Apply it to your fingers and gently massage your anus and a few centimeters inside your rectum to prep yourself. When you’re ready, slide the nozzle inside. Don’t push too hard; this should be as gentle as possible.
3. Take it easy
Remember: You’re having an anal spa day, not power washing your pooper. Keep the nozzle within the first few inches of your rectum, and beware of inserting too much fluid. The pressure of all that liquid can push past your rectum and into your sigmoid colon, potentially dislodging additional stool that wouldn’t have been an issue otherwise. Now you’ve got a whole new mess to clean up.
4. Hold in the water
Hold in the water for a little bit. It doesn’t have to be forever but try singing the ABCs or the chorus to your favorite Pride anthem while you clench your butt — whatever gets the job done. After you’ve held it in for a bit, breathe, relax, and let it all out.
5. Repeat (if necessary)
Some people’s rectums are a one-and-done, and we love that for them. But your butt might be a little more high-maintenance. It may require a few rounds to totally clean out, and that’s OK, too. Just make sure the water runs clear. After that, you’ll know you’re ready.
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Types of anal douching
Opinions are like assholes: Everyone’s got one, and they’re all unique and beautiful. Fortunately, there are a few different types of anal douches you can easily buy online or at the drugstore to suit your particular anus.
Douche bulb
Cheap and simple to use, the douche bulb is the one most bottoms turn to in times of need. First, fill the enema bulb — usually made from reusable rubber or silicone — with warm water, then screw the nozzle on. Insert the nozzle into your hole, gently squeeze the bulb to send some water inside, and hold for about 10 seconds before letting it out. Repeat until the water runs clear.
Water bag douche
Some DIY queens give lessons on how to douche with water bottles as a last-minute hack. Everyone’s so creative! But if you’re not feeling particularly crafty, a pre-made water bag douche — similar to a hot water bottle you can hang on a hook — is a suitable method. It’s portable and easy to use, but you’ll need to replace the bag regularly to keep things hygienic.
Fleet enemas
These douche kits come with pre-lubricated nozzle tips to ensure comfort, and the enema bulb holds just the right amount of liquid to clean your cornhole. The saline solution is gentler on your tushy than plain-old tap water. They’re a reliable way to get yourself super clean. Just make sure you use the cleanser formula — not the laxative.
Shower douche
Showers aren’t just for getting dirty with soaped-up sex positions; apparently, you can also use them to get clean.
You can attach a douching nozzle to your shower head to give you a multi-stream water jet — just ensure the proper pressure and temperature so you don’t send scalding water into your anus. Shower douches are often discreetly designed, so Mom and Dad won’t be asking any awkward questions when they’re staying over.
Anal douching tips
Effective douching is far more complex than shooting water in your butt and pushing it out. You’re dealing with your bum — which is as sensitive as it is cute — so handle it with care.
Here’s some more advice to wash away your worries:
Shit happens
Let’s first address the obvious: When preparing for anal sex, “mess” happens. (That’s the PC term prudes use for poop.) Even if it’s not a total blowout, you’re bound to hear a fart or two between pumps.
We’ve all been there, so don’t freak out. A poor reaction can be traumatic, and the last thing gay men need is more trauma or shame. If and when it happens, clean up and carry on if it feels natural. If it doesn’t, reschedule and try not to make a big deal out of it.
Fiber is your friend
Fiber and water make your stool clump together in one smooth mass for swift ejection, leading to the fabled no-wiper. And this can make pre-coital cleaning a breeze.
Bottoms that maintain a healthy diet full of fiber (either naturally or through fiber supplements) should only need a few minutes to douche. Consider eating more fruits, vegetables, legumes, leafy greens, whole grains, and unprocessed bran while limiting greasy red meats and dairy (given that 75% of the global population is at least somewhat lactose intolerant).
Of course, all bodies are different, so the proper diet for a mess-free experience is personal. Keep a food diary to better learn your body’s habits since the colon’s contents are actually from 24–48 hours ago.
Dig in
During the preparation process, insert a squeaky clean sex toy before you bottom to test for cleanliness. It’s just like using a toothpick to make sure a cake is baked through; if it comes out clear, you’re good to go.
Douching frequency
For the power bottoms among us, this may be difficult to hear, but it’s not recommended that you douche more than two or three times a week — and generally not more than once a day.
If you over-douche, you run the risk of throwing off electrolyte balances in your body and damaging the lining of your anus. Using a saline solution instead of tap water can help with the electrolyte thing. Still, it’s best to stick to the two-to-three rule.
Excessive douching can increase your risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially if it’s done improperly. Always prioritize your bodily safety and douche responsibly, even if your dick appointment is minutes away. The future of your hole depends on it.
Ready to clean up?
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