What’s a Booty Call? 10 Signs You’re Getting One

It’s 2 a.m. on a Saturday. You’ve been in bed for an hour or so now. You’re tired, but you’re awake enough that if you received a late-night notification — that notification — you wouldn’t necessarily mind.

Lo and behold — guess who decides to send you a positively vulgar text a few seconds later asking if you’re down to meet up?

It’s him, of course, always saying the right thing to make your stomach drop and your lip quiver. It’s an excitement you can feel deep in your dick, but for some reason, it doesn’t quite make it to your heart. 

It’s been two months since you started seeing each other, and you’re still not sure where you stand. The sex is incredible, and he’s lovely to you when you’re together. But there’s no commitment, no discussion, no follow-through — no real relationship to speak of with this person.

Ignore your aching loins for a moment. That other feeling in your body is trying to tell you something. It’s alerting you that you might be the victim of a booty call. But what’s a booty call? Sit your booty down, and we’ll tell you.

What does “booty call” mean?

A booty call is slang for an invitation to enjoy some sexy times with another person, usually through a text or phone call. Booty calls are typically reserved for guys you’re only interested in sexually and don’t want to pursue a relationship with. TL;DR: He’s simply looking to fuck.

Despite its negative connotations, there’s nothing wrong with a booty call, meaning you could be in for some fun — as long as you maintain the proper mindset. If you’re cool having no-strings-attached sexual encounters, you’ll be thrilled when your phone buzzes with a booty call.

Unfortunately, things aren’t always so clear. The person doing the booty calling may conceal their intentions while they lead you on with the hopes of getting more. They’ll be ambiguous with their sexting, keeping you on the hook with relationship bait, even though they only want more sex.

It isn’t always malicious, either; there may simply be a miscommunication between partners about whether the relationship was meant to be serious or sexual. Not every guy has ill intent when they hit it and quit it — some just desire a sex-based relationship in their lives right now. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that (but a little communication would be nice).

Booty call vs. one-night stand

Booty calls almost always imply an already established relationship, whether that means dating or friends with benefits. One-night stands mean you met the person that night, bumped uglies, and went your separate ways. These slang terms are similar in that neither advances into a long-term relationship without a significant shift in interest. However, booty texts and calls are more often painful for the recipient because of an imbalance in the partners’ emotional investment.

10 signs you might be getting a booty call

So, u up? Here are some tell-tale signs that his intentions are more vulgar than valiant (and maybe even some tips if you want to know how to booty call responsibly).

1. Dates become just sex

The first date was dinner, a movie, then sex. The second? Dinner, then sex. Third, fourth, fifth — you guessed it: sex. If date night becomes nothing more than Netflix and chill, you’re probably in booty call territory, and he’s fast-tracking every experience to become another sexual encounter.

2. He’s not there for you emotionally

You can’t expect that much emotional support from a guy after a date or two. That said, someone genuinely interested in a relationship with you will go out of their way to provide support, regardless of how long you’ve been together. 

3. It’s giving pump and dump

Does he only spend time with you when your legs are in the air or your penis is inside him? Is he on the first Uber home the minute you’re done? Then the proof is in the man pudding: He’s probably just into you for sex. Anyone looking for an emotional connection (and not just a connection between penis and prostate) should see this as a clear sign they’re dealing with a booty call.

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4. There’s no desire to make things official

Dating today is often non-linear. Many people date around, seeing and having sex with multiple people. So, although his disinterest in labels might not indicate disinterest in you, it could be a sign any contact with you is for sex purposes — especially if it’s combined with other factors on this list.

5. You’re not meeting friends and family

Say you’ve been together for months, and he keeps dodging opportunities to bring you out for drinks with his friends or an outing with family. Everyone operates at their own pace, especially with family, since the LGBTQness of it all can further complicate things. But if he doesn’t even want to introduce you to his BFF in a situation where it would honestly be weird if you didn’t go, it’s clear he doesn’t see you the same way you see him.

6. Sex is always the endgame

Maybe he’s generous with gifts, flowers, and other impressive feats of admiration. That sounds nice, but only if he doesn’t have an ulterior motive. Otherwise, there’s a chance he’s buttering your metaphorical muffin so he can butter your physical one later when you inevitably hook up.

7. You aren’t celebrating anything together

A significant indicator that you’re in a booty call situation is how he acts when one of you has a birthday or other celebratory moment. Does he show up to yours, excited to see you and engage with your loved ones? Does he invite you to his, eager to show off his person? If the answer is no to both, but he’s still hitting you up for casual sex, well, you might be a booty call.

8. It’s a text-only kind of relationship

He won’t follow you on social media, he doesn’t answer your phone calls, and you never see him in public. All communication happens through texting, usually in the middle of the night after he’s had a few. We hate to break it to you, but those are booty call hours, and this is a pretty cut-and-dry booty call protocol.

9. He’s actively pursuing others

This is another sign that doesn’t immediately confirm he’s not interested in something serious. But it certainly indicates he has no desire to settle down at the moment. If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s time to be honest with him and see what happens. Until then, hold off on sex to protect your feelings.

10. He said the quiet part out loud

Believe it or not, some guys will be remarkably upfront, saying they’re not interested in anything serious and just trying to fuck. When they do, do yourself a favor and believe them. Too often, guys hear this and continue pushing for a relationship, hoping he’ll change his mind and end their booty call dating phase. And too often, this leads to nothing but pure, unadulterated heartbreak.

When booty calls, will you answer?

There’s nothing inherently wrong with a booty call, provided everyone involved understands what’s going on. But if you want to enter a long-term relationship with someone, you need to know if they’re serious or just taking advantage of how much you like them.

Whether you’re looking for more booties to ring up or a replacement for your previous caller, you can find both and everything in between on Grindr. Download the Grindr app now and get started.