Sexual Tension: The Good, the Bad, and the Awkward

Picture this: You’re pulling an all-nighter at the office with your manager, Brad, to finish an important presentation about strategic initiatives for Management McManagement. But rather than concentrating on charts about Q2 KPIs, you’re thinking about bending Bradley over the desk and turning his cake into a cream pie.

And maybe he feels the same way. After all, he definitely made eye contact when he loosened that atrocious tie.

Sexual tension sends tingles down your shaft and floods your mind with pure filth. But sometimes, the feeling is so overwhelming that it clouds your better judgment. Before you act on your slutty urges, Grindr’s here to teach you how to read all the signs of sexual attraction. Then, you can bend Brad over consensually and respectfully.

What is sexual tension? 

Sexual tension is an electrifying sensation that happens when two people feel desire for one another. But the meaning of sexual tension hinges on a lack of sex fueled by the restraint and uncertainty of an unspoken connection. You can’t stop wondering, “Will we or won’t we?” amid charged glances, innuendo, and gestures that blur the lines between friendship and something more. Slowly, the anticipation builds like static before a storm, creating a tense feeling of longing and sexual possibility. 

It’s a sensation that’s often mistaken for sexual chemistry, a natural, bodily reaction that occurs when two people feel mutual attraction to one another. Your pheromones vibe with his. You feel a shortness of breath and sweaty palms and can’t stop laughing at his stupid jokes.

Sexual and romantic tension is often more about a longing for something that cannot be. We’ve all really wanted to get it on with someone, but circumstances prevented it, filling your spank bank with thrilling fantasies. Here are a few scenarios where you could cut the sexual tension with a knife:

1. Forbidden fruit: You lust after someone who’s off-limits, like a friend’s partner, authority figure, or someone within your social or professional circle. You know blowing your best friend’s dad at the family Fourth of July party is taboo, which only makes you even more horny. While forbidden love is tantalizing, it can also feel awkward, frustrating, or stressful when you can’t release the tension. 
2. Slow burner: You’re dating a new beau and decide to take it slow, concentrating on building an emotional and intellectual connection before playing “hide the pickle.” Every meaningful conversation, lingering touch, and prolonged eye contact fills you with sexual desire, flooding your little fella until he’s ready to burst like the Hoover Dam.  
3. Long distance: You meet someone special online or on vacation, and the distance makes your dick grow harder. After all, the weiner wants what it can’t have. The physical distance might make you romanticize them and fantasize about all the filthy things you’ll do to them once reunited, especially if you build up the sexual energy with sexting, nudes, or masturbating on the phone together. 
4. Wait, you’re actually hot: Sometimes, you find yourself drawn to someone you didn’t initially consider a romantic or sexual prospect, like a longtime acquaintance or someone you met in a casual setting. As you get to know one another, talking turns into attraction, then flirting, then intense sexual desire.

The good, the bad, and the horny

The hot sexual tension is getting you bricked up. That must be a good sign, right? Right?!

It’s hard to say. Here are some pros and cons of intense sexual tension to help you plan your next move:

1. Dating is way more fun

This isn’t your run-of-the-mill desperation hookup. When the sexual tension builds, it’s a sign of genuine attraction and chemistry between you. Whether you’re an introvert or a serial dater, this kind of excitement can make even casual dating feel like a roller coaster thrill.

And it isn’t just the anticipation that builds. The sexy vibes might make you feel more open, adventurous, and engaged in cultivating emotional and intellectual intimacy.

2. Edging is GOATed

He says your name, and you wonder what it’ll sound like when he screams it. His hand grazes your shoulder when he passes by, and you imagine what his hands will feel like when they give you a full body massage. When he stretches, you spot his Adonis belt and can’t help but fantasize about the throbbing cock it leads to.

Every little interaction sends heat to your loins that slowly reaches a boiling point. It’s like your own private romance novel, and once you and your crush finally have sex, all that edging will make you feel like a virgin, touched for the very first time.  

3. What could have been

Sexual attraction doesn’t wait for an invitation. It’s not always the right moment to be a lust-filled slut. If either of you are partnered up, it could cause frustration or conflict in your relationship. Likewise, sexual tension with a colleague might create regular old tension with coworkers, jeopardizing your reputation.

In some scenarios, intense sexual chemistry might be enough to alter the dynamic. Plus, those lingering feelings of what could have been might keep you tossing and turning (and furiously masturbating) at night. 

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Is he horny or just happy to see you? 7 signs of sexual attraction

Maybe he stands close because he wants to jump your bones, or perhaps he just has no sense of personal space. Here are all the sexual tension signs from a man who definitely wants to wear your booty like a mood ring:

1. Constant eye contact: Intense, prolonged eye contact is a strong sexual tension sign. If you frequently catch his eye or see him sneaking glances at your butt, he likely desires a deeper connection. And he’s probably undressing you with his eyes. 
2. Acting differently around you: He’s a shy boy with everyone else. Around you, he’s giddy, talkative, and a little nervous. If you notice he’s more attentive or engaged with you than others, the idea of exchanging a sloppy kiss is probably running laps around his mind. 
3. Physical proximity: Seeking physical closeness is basic biology, baby. When you feel sexual chemistry or a strong attraction to someone, your body naturally moves closer and angles toward the object of desire.
4. Gentle touching: Whether it’s accidental or deliberate physical contact, like brushing arms or squeezing past you, it’s a subtle gesture that lets you know he wants physical intimacy. Just be sure it’s reciprocal. If he ignores signals that you aren’t comfortable being manhandled (yet), that’s a big red flag. 
5. Mirroring behavior: He might subconsciously mimic your body language, speech, or sense of humor. When two people naturally vibe with one another, this signals a clear desire to connect (preferably via an ass-to-mouth junction). 
6. He’s a flirt: Does he regularly initiate playful and suggestive conversation (e.g., teasing, innuendos, and jokes) or unprompted compliments? That’s him throwing out his line, trying to see whether you want to bite his bait. 
7. It’s awkward: The mutual tension is palpable, especially during quiet moments or alone time. You might catch him blushing or stumbling over his words. Not quite knowing how to interact with one another is a clear sign that he’s building up the courage to make his move — or waiting for you to pounce. 

What to do when the sexual tension is tensioning

Seeking out green flags can provide important clues. But nothing competes with honest communication to determine whether his booty hole twitches every time you walk in the room. Even if you’re really, really sure that his eyes light up when he sees you, overstepping physical boundaries might throw a bucket of cold water on your fiery connection. 

Sure, you can write down every interaction on a Post-it note and connect them with string on the wall like a conspiracy theorist. But the only way to get to the bottom of things is to ask if he feels the same sexual energy.

Plus, being direct is so hot. The take-charge attitude will probably kick the sexual tension up another notch. Likewise, it lets you mutually decide what to do about it, whether that’s starting a secret office romance or asking to be transferred to another department.

Find somebody to match your freak

Sexual tension in the sheets doesn’t have to start on the streets. Improve your odds by swiping through more than 13 million sexually energetic men on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today.