What Is a Sex Club? Everything You Need to Know Before Visiting One

Social clubs are a norm in society. People get together to play chess, read books, or share in any other niche interest they might have. But much like Sonic the Hedgehog and Rule 34 (“If it exists, there’s porn of it”), social clubs have a sexy side you might be familiar with: sex clubs.

We know what you’re thinking: Are sex clubs real? They absolutely are! But the image you’ve conjured in your head is probably a bit off. They aren’t all dens of debauchery where anything goes and people climb on top of one another (although that’s a specific vibe you can undoubtedly find if you go looking for it). In fact, they’re usually a lot more organized and arguably tamer than one might expect.

Don’t worry; you’re on our guest list. We’re here to serve you the details and information you need to get your bottle serviced at a different kind of club.

What is a sex club?

A sex club is an establishment that exists primarily to give people a place to bump uglies. Much like a regular club, all kinds of people attend with their own desires or agendas. You might see a person flying solo in hopes they’ll find someone to bone on the dance floor. Or maybe you’ll encounter a couple of swingers that like watching other people fuck to light their fire.

Whatever your reason for crossing the velvet rope, keep in mind that sex clubs are not a monolith. They’ll often have different themes, events, and (most importantly) rules. But there’s one thing they all have in common: They’re a place for everyone to feast their eyes, mouth, and various other orifices.

Can I go to a sex club?

Sure! Well, provided you fulfill the club’s requirements. Each establishment will have house rules they expect you to follow. Those with themes will also likely require you to feel the fantasy yourself. 

A better question would be, “Can I go to this sex club?” And that answer will depend on various factors. Fortunately, these clubs take their rules seriously, so guidelines typically aren’t hard to find. Check online and see if there are specifics you should know before you go. 

Local sex clubs often have themed events, and not all of them will be for you. If the club hosts weekly Women’s Wednesdays, and you don’t fall under that category, you’ll have to come back on Men’s Monday (or Therian Thursday, if that’s more your jam).

Generally, it’s best to do your research and pick a club that matches your lifestyle. For example, a club sporting an upside-down pineapple is a swinger’s club, so they’ll probably have a different rule set than your average sex club.

Sex club ambiance and atmosphere

What should you expect when you first walk into a sex club? “UNZ UNZ UNZ,” right?

Not necessarily. Not all sex clubs have a nightclub atmosphere. Some won’t even have a dance floor or a bar, although these are pretty typical. Other common features include a sauna, pool, locker rooms, sex dungeons, and private rooms.

But if we’re being general, the most important thing to know about the atmosphere is that it’s usually way more welcoming and reassuring than you might expect. This is a business at the end of the day; they want their clientele to feel comfortable and safe enough to let loose. 

And if the ambiance and atmosphere of a place aren’t for you, that’s OK, too. Some people only want to watch or chat, either in anticipation of some hanky panky or just to meet new, like-minded individuals. There’s no law saying you can’t get all gussied up, go to the sex bar for a stiff Sex on the Beach to sexily suss things out, and go home knowing more about your sexy self.

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8 tips to make your first sex club visit even more sexually sexual

Horned up and ready to hit the road? Before you head over to your local sex club to bust a spontaneous nut, you might want to look over these eight tips to enhance your pleasure and comfort.

Know your options

The great thing about sex clubs is that they cater to various people with different sexual proclivities. There’s no need to pop over to a free-for-all style sex dungeon if you just wanna head to a private room with your partner and role-play as each other’s bosses. (It’s a complicated corporate structure.)

Learn the dress code and plan your outfit

Before you break out the good Steve Maddens, ask yourself: What makes sense for the experience you want to have tonight? Is the sex club hosting a leather night? Are you just going to watch, or are you planning on getting down and dirty? Will watersports (either the pool or the pee kind) be involved?

Answer these questions, and you’ll pick out the right outfit — or at least one you don’t mind getting a bunch of fluids on.

Study (and follow) the rules

Yes, we’re hammering in the rules. But if you aren’t following them, that’s the only hammering you’ll get. Truly, knowing what you’re getting into is vital before you go to a club. You might also want to cross-reference their rules with some of your boundaries to ensure you’re heading to a place that feels safe.

Remember boundaries — yours and everyone else’s

Speaking of boundaries, knowing yours and respecting others is non-negotiable at any sex club. There will be people who are not into you or your deal, and that’s A-OK. Just because this is a place where people can freely express their sexual desires doesn’t mean everyone and everything is fair game — especially without asking first.

Bring your own gear

We’re not just talking about sex toys or kink gear. BYOcondoms, BYOlube, BYOanything you need to have a comfy time and enjoy yourself so you aren’t making an emergency run to CVS. Many sex clubs will provide something resembling lube and condoms. But if you have a preference, pack it up and bring it with you.

Clean up

Just like at the gym, it’s good etiquette to clean up after yourself at a sex club. You won’t need to worry about bringing a Magic Eraser or anything (unless Mr. Clean is involved in your role-play); the club usually has supplies on hand.

Hop in the shower after

Just like at the gym, not everyone follows good etiquette. We recommend jumping in the shower when you get home for a good rinse. It’s not a religious shame baptism shower — just a good scrub to keep yourself clean and healthy. And give your toys a thorough cleaning, as well.

Check in with yourself (and/or your partner)

Did you go with a partner? How are they feeling? And how are you holding up? If it’s your first time at a sex club, there’s probably a lot of emotions swirling around in your noggin. Some might be exciting, others scary, but all are worth discussing, hearing, and validating.

You wanna go where everyone knows you’ve came

You’ll probably be surprised by just how ordinary most sex clubs are. You might even be shocked by how little it shocks you. After all, if you’re already reading this, you probably have something of a healthy relationship with sex, or you’re actively building one. Going to a sex club can be like jumping into the deep end, but you might find the water’s fine.

Interested in picking up a plus one before you hit the club for the first time? Find him on Grindr! Download the Grindr app today and find someone who can light up your glow stick.