Which Ear Is the ‘Gay Ear’? Debunking the Gay Ear Myth

Fellas, is it gay to have ears? Asking for a friend.

Funnily enough, no — you can wear whatever or present however you like and still be a member of the queer community (or straight, if you must be). We’re fortunate to live in an era where people (mostly) don’t judge such style choices (depending on where you live). Social acceptance of queer culture is much better than it used to be, even if it’s not perfect.

But in times and places where people are less keen on kweens, some members of the community resort to subtlety as a means of survival. Our gay ancestors came up with coded signals to tell others that you’re safe, supportive, or maybe even DTF, depending on the context.

A notable example is the “gay ear.” The suggestion is that if a man had a specific ear pierced, it would indicate his sexual orientation. Nowadays, it shouldn’t be read into, but this stereotype may have served a purpose in the past.

Which ear is the “gay ear?”

If you’re gay, technically, both are. But we know what you’re really after. You’re hoping that a peek at someone’s lobes will indicate if they’re willing to take some loads, right?

In that case, look for the right ear — that’s the “gay” side. It’s important to recognize, however, that the idea of one ear being gay and the other being straight is archaic and not likely to be the wink you think it is. 

The concept of a gay ear started in the 1980s, a time when gay and queer culture was still very underground. Societal stigma forced many gay people to signal their preferences in a more coded way.

Although that seems oppressive (it is), it also caused coded communications like ear piercings to blossom as a way to identify each other. No need to say, “Hello, I’m your discreet bud looking hosting now cumdump.” Thank goodness we have platforms that are both welcoming and encouraging of that language and communication style (you might be familiar with one of them).

Although the gay ear has fallen out of fashion, the historical context is a fascinating bit of our culture. It’s even more fascinating that this, of all things, managed to find its way into the heterosexual lexicon, albeit because of a gay panic rather than a desire to understand how the LGBTQ community operates.

And if we’re going to get even more meta about it, the “gay ear” theory is a reminder of how powerful symbolism is in fashion and personal expression. It demonstrates how a simple accessory can communicate so much about a person. It can say just as much as a T-shirt that reads, “Badass Bearded Uncle,” which, ironically, would do numbers in the same fashion circles where gay men have their ear pierced. 

Right ear piercing meaning

The right ear has previously been associated with identifying as gay. It started as a subtle way for men to express their sexual orientation and grew into a symbol of pride and solidarity in the community — and a strange way to stigmatize gayness among homophobes. 

Piercing one’s right ear doesn’t suddenly make them gay, just like how wearing clothes that fit didn’t make you gay, either. It’s a dated concept to assume anyone’s gender or sexuality solely on something they’re wearing. The assumption is odd at best and a harmful stereotype at worst, even if some gay men wear piercings in their right ear.

Left ear piercing meaning

Since some people seem absolutely giddy over binaries, it’s probably no surprise to learn that the opposite of the right ear is the left, meaning the opposite of a gay ear piercing is a straight one! 

But this fundamentally doesn’t make sense. Since when do straight men need a subtle code to indicate their availability? A piercing in the left ear doesn’t really signal anything at all, although you might interpret it as “I really don’t want anyone to think I’m gay.” (Which, admittedly, is an important signal to pick up on.) But we don’t need to play these sorts of heterosexual games.

Is the “gay ear” still a thing?

Yes and no. The “gay ear” is a mostly silly stereotype that’s collecting dust somewhere alongside gaydar, metrosexuality, and “the top is the man, and the bottom is the woman.” There are far clearer ways to let people know you’re gay, like by following certain celebrities on Instagram or sharing a Spotify playlist that everyone says has “too much” Dua Lipa on it.

Although some still embrace the ear-piercing code, it is often seen as a relic of the past, overshadowed by a more evolved view on how we should perceive others’ sexualities: as mostly none of our business until they make it our business.

Trendy men’s earring styles

Gay, straight, bi, or however you identify — earrings are always in style! Here’s where trending men’s earrings are headed (aside from the side of your head, of course).

Hoops

Hoop earrings have made a significant comeback in men’s fashion, offering a bold statement that transcends traditional gender norms. These earrings come in various sizes and styles, from demure and mindful to large and in-charge to chunky and funky.

Dangly earrings

Dangly earrings are another trendy option if you’re looking for ear candy that makes you eye candy. The single dangly earring is a popular choice, but you can do both ears (which doesn’t mean you’re bi, by the way). For a twist on the old classic, a dangly feather earring is a fun choice. Be aware that it will probably signal you’re at least a little gay, regardless of what ear you put it in.

Studs

If you ask us, studs are named after the type of bad boy who wears them. They come in many materials, including gold, silver, or even gemstones. They’re eye-catching but not too distracting and delightfully easy to customize based on preferences (or birthstones, if you want to signal to the astrology girlies).

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Tips to elevate your style

Is it time to take your style up a notch? Lend us your ear to learn top tips for creating a style that feels both fashionable and uniquely yours.

Use (more) accessories

Why should your ears have all the fun? Adorn those wrists, necks, and fingers with other accessories that serve as statement pieces — even if that statement isn’t “I’m a homosexual.”

Experiment with color and texture

Don’t be afraid to play with colors or textures when choosing men’s earrings. Try mixing different materials, especially if you have multiple piercings in the same ear. Just have fun with it and see what sticks.

Layering and stacking

It’s very in fashion to layer or stack multiple earrings on one ear. You’ve already got all those holes — might as well fill them. You can opt for a cohesive look with a theme or color or wear many different earrings to channel your inner chaos — whichever speaks to you most.

Consider your face shape

The earrings you wear can complement your face shape, much like glasses. For example, long, dangly earrings can create the illusion of length if you have a round face. At the same time, rounded shapes can soften sharp features. 

Does this ear make me look queer?

Whether you wear earrings to be overt or subversive, the gay ear is a somewhat passe relic of homosexual history that most people don’t take too seriously anymore. Even straight guys are less concerned about how they’re dressing these days (and thank gay God for that; they really needed some fashion freedom).

But there’s no guarantee people won’t think you’re gay if you have an earring in your left ear; many gay people still get their piercings there for that reason, even if it’s a dying practice. Regardless, the best way to know if someone’s gay will always be to ask them. It’s not an offensive question because being gay is nothing to be ashamed of.

However, there is still a surefire way to signal that you’re gay (or at least like to fuck other men): using Grindr! So, if you’re sick of looking at lobes to find the right guy, download the Grindr app today.