Gay Bareback Sex: Read This Before Riding a Horse With No Saddle

You know the saying: “Sex is like pizza. When it’s good, it’s good. And when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” Well, bareback sex is like pizza, too; some prefer it without any toppings (except maybe some extra sausage).

If you’re here, you’re probably interested in exploring bareback — or at least knowing what the term means. Either way, we’ve got you covered.

What is bareback sex?

Contrary to what it may sound like, bareback sex is not sex you have with a bear on his back (although that’s totally an option). Bareback sex refers to penetrative sex without a condom or other protection — like riding a horse without a saddle.

The slang phrase has been around since at least the 1960s but became explicitly associated with non-protective anal sex between gay men after HIV cases started declining in the late 1990s.

What are the risks of bareback sex?

People often talk about bareback sex (aka barebacking) with relative lightheartedness because of its prevalence in the gay community and the fact that modern medical interventions have mitigated some of the risks. However, there is always a risk associated with condomless sex. 

That doesn’t mean there needs to be shame or stigma associated with barebacking, but if you choose to have bareback sex, you should understand the risks.

The primary risk associated with bareback sex is the transmission of STIs. This includes, but is not limited to, HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and hepatitis B. Although pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) can help prevent the spread of HIV, there is no such protection for other STIs when having bareback sex. 

The rectal lining is thin, and the anus is not self-lubricating (major bummer), so anal sex always risks causing small tears or cuts inside the rectum. These tears make it easier to transmit HIV. It is also possible to contract HIV through the urethra, which is obviously exposed during condomless sex. 

Many STIs, including HIV, can be transmitted and contracted without the presence of associated symptoms. Some symptoms may initially be so mild that you don’t immediately notice them. We aren’t trying to scare you; just remind you to get tested regularly — whether you’re having bareback sex or not. 

Why do some gay men bareback?

Gay and bisexual men (and yes, straight people, too) have bareback sex for a lot of reasons. Primarily, they do it because it feels really, really good. Sex without a condom provides much more skin-to-skin contact than sex with a condom. This increases sensation and, when combined with heat, friction, and wetness, creates a more pleasurable experience for many. 

Some men report a loss of sensation when using a condom. Some say it’s difficult to get and stay erect or nearly impossible to cum while wearing one. Although this is certainly possible, someone else’s pleasure should never supersede your boundaries or personal health. Achieving the optimal nut is not worth a serious infection. 

There is a notable exception. Long-term, exclusive partners (or polycules) don’t need to worry about transmitting diseases (assuming they have a clean bill of health to start with). Lovers may feel a heightened sense of intimacy and connection during bareback sex. For some couples, bareback sex is a display of trust and intimacy that has the power to deepen a relationship and take things to the next level — yet another reason to get cuffed.

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Want to try barebacking? Try these STI prevention methods 

Having bareback sex doesn’t mean you can’t go in prpared. You can (and should) take several steps before having sex without a condom. These measures protect you and others from spreading STIs so you can have peace of mind:

Get tested

As previously mentioned, getting tested and knowing your status is the most important step you can take before having sex, whether it’s bareback sex or sex with a condom. If you get tested regularly, you can limit the likelihood of unknowingly passing on an STI.

To make bareback sex even safer, ensure your partner gets tested, too. Then, you’ll know the only thing being shared between you and whoever you’re fucking is a good time. 

Medication and vaccination

Did you know that PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is now available as a shot? Well, it is!

In addition to the daily pill, all of us forgetful baddies can now take a shot every two months instead. PrEP is proven to prevent the spread of HIV, so it’s a must for anyone engaging in bareback sex. 

Gay and bisexual men are also at a greater risk for human papillomavirus (HPV) and hepatitis A and B (which PrEP doesn’t help with). HPV is the most common STI in the United States. It’s estimated nearly everyone will contract some strain of HPV in their lifetime. That’s why it’s vital to get vaccinated. Same with hepatitis A and B.

Talk with your partner

Open, honest communication is the key to great sex — condom or otherwise. Sharing your wants, needs, boundaries, and vulnerabilities will help ensure you and your companion(s) are in for some fantastic fucking. It’s best not to assume everyone shares your point of view. So, if you’re interested in bareback sex, make it clear to everyone involved (and don’t throw a fit if they ask you to wrap it).

Some couples (throuples, etc.) who are open or nonmonogamous will set boundaries around bareback sex and reserve it for their primary partner(s). This means sex outside the relationship should always include condoms. This is the safest way to engage in bareback sex without being monogamous. However, different couples play by different rules. No matter what you do, get on the same page with all of your sexual partners.

Take care of your tushy

As we said before, the rectal walls are delicate. They’re more susceptible to rips and tears, making it easier to spread and contract STIs, especially during bareback sex. This doesn’t mean you can never get rough in the bedroom. It just means that you might need a little bit more lube. Yes, spit is hot, but it’s rarely enough to make things fully enjoyable or easy. 

Also, take your time. Breathe, relax, don’t strain, and take breaks when needed. Great sex is all about balancing the hot and heavy with the mindful and meticulous. Listen to your body and communicate your sexual and emotional needs.

Alternatively, you can skip penetrative sex and find alternatives that offer plenty of friction. Embrace your inner side while you finger his innersides.

What to do if you’ve been exposed

Let’s say you and your sexual partner have taken all the necessary precautions during sex, but you’re still nervous about STI exposure. Don’t panic. You can do a few things to mitigate your concerns and potentially avoid contracting an STI.

First, talk to your doctor about taking PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) if you’re concerned about HIV. PEP can prevent HIV infections, but you have to act relatively quickly, and it requires a prescription. Typically, PEP must be taken within 72 hours of exposure to be effective.

For bacterial STIs like chlamydia, syphilis, and gonorrhea, consider discussing doxy-PEP (doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis) with your doctor. Doxy-PEP is an antibiotic taken after sexual exposure to reduce the risk of contracting these infections. Recent studies suggest that taking doxycycline within 72 hours of unprotected sex can significantly reduce STI transmission rates.

You should also get tested regularly, of course. STIs have varying incubation periods and may not be detectable right away, so knowing your status benefits both your own health and your sexual partners’.

Symptoms may not occur immediately, but there are several effects to look for following a potential exposure:

• Genital bumps or sores
• Burning while urinating
• Swollen lymph nodes in the neck or groin
• Unusual rectal discharge
• Fever and chills
• Pain, burning, or itching on the genitals or in the anus
• Pain during sex

Saddle up on Grindr

Consent isn’t just sexy; it’s mandatory. So, before you go riding reverse cowgirl without a saddle, make sure everyone involved is on the same page. The shame and stigma surrounding STI testing are slowly starting to fade. The more people get tested and talk about it, the more normalized it will become.

Bareback, condoms, oral, networking, just friends — people are looking for all sorts of experiences over on Grindr. You’ll find your next backshot buddy in no time after downloading the Grindr app.