What Is a Lingam Massage? The Art of Tantric Penis Massage

If you’re familiar with the concept of a “happy ending” (and we’re betting that’s a hard yes), you’re only getting half the story of what tantric penis massages — aka tantric lingam massages — have to offer. Rooted in ancient tantric traditions, the lingam massage focuses on the most ancient sex toy of all. That’s right. Dick. 

If you’re looking to learn how to massage your hubby so well, you’ll induce a chubby — or for a type of foreplay that doesn’t reactivate your TMJ — read on. We’re pulling back the metaphorical foreskin on tantric sex and the most pleasurable of penis massages. 

What is a lingam massage?

A lingam massage is a specialized form of erotic massage that centers on the male genitalia, specifically the penis. “Lingam” is a Sanskrit word, and the practice is often associated with tantric sex, which is a sacred, spiritual tradition that aims to unify the body through sexual energy.

Milking the three P’s — penis, perineum, and prostate — through tantric penis massage creates an experience that goes far beyond orgasm. It’s undoubtedly physically enjoyable, but there’s more emphasis on pleasure and intimacy through spirituality rather than spit. It’s said to produce a profound effect that awakens something within both the person and the connection between the partners. 

Steps to a lingam massage

If you’re used to just hawk-tuah’ing and spittin’ on that thang, the spiritual elements of this type of massage might seem strange. We’re here to realign your finger chakras with some basic steps so you can get down and funky with your partner’s phallus.

1. Set the scene

What’s your ideal environment for sexual transcendence? For some, it involves candles, dim lighting, and soft music. For others, it’s an abandoned warehouse with the moonlight cascading in through a broken window. We’re not here to judge. Find out what makes you and your partner comfortable exploring sex and sensuality and make it happen.

2. Choose a comfortable position

You’re in this for both a good time and a long time, so you should probably make yourself physically comfortable, too. Maybe you want to lie on a bed, a massage table, or even a soft rug. Again, it’s up to personal preference; your idea of comfy won’t be the same as someone else’s.

3. Use your favorite massage oil

A high-quality massage oil is a welcome addition to this type of massage. Warm it in your hands before slathering it on your partner’s body, lest you send his genitalia into shock. Massage oil enhances the sensory experience, of course, but it also makes things easier for the masseur because you can glide your hands across his body with little resistance.

4. Massage the entire body

Before focusing on the lingam massage, take the time to caress your partner’s entire body. Sure, you’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t neglect the balls,” and we’re big advocates of ball stuff, too. But we’re talking about revving up his engine by mushin’ around other erogenous zones, like the neck or thighs before you grab hold of the stick shift and kick it into high gear.

5. Focus on the lingam

Now it’s time to focus on the lingam. Again, there’s no rush, so transition to his phallus slowly. Build anticipation through deliberate movements.

Make him guess where you’re headin’ next. Will it be the head? Perhaps the shaft? The more varied you are with your movements, the more your partner can fully sink into the experience.

6. Incorporate breathing techniques

Encourage your partner to focus on his breath. Deep rhythmic breathing will help him relax. As a bonus, listen to his breath patterns and adjust your movements accordingly. Heavy breathing with soft moaning? Keep it pumpin’.

7. Communicate

Physical cues like rushed breathing are great, but you shouldn’t rely on them too heavily. Ask your partner what feels good and switch things up as needed, especially if you’re jumping to another part of the body or changing up your technique.

8. Gradually increase intensity

OK, this might be penis stuff 101, but you should gradually increase the intensity of your strokes. Pick up on cues so you can match his level of excitement. This is also a way to curate the experience for him like a personalized handjob rollercoaster. This is tough with a newer partner, but that’s why communication is still preferable to reading cues.

9. Finish with intention

When the massage is nearing climax, do it with intention and don’t rush. Allow your partner to fully experience the pleasure. Remember, this isn’t your run-of-the-mill handjob. Treat it like the unique, intimate moment it is by respecting the rush of arousal happening in and around his wiener.

10. Provide aftercare

Massages don’t have to be an intense sexual experience, but they certainly can be, and tantric lingam massage is much more likely to leave the receiving partner with ooey-gooey orgasm legs (and brain). Let the dust settle, then take a moment to cuddle and reflect on the experience. This will help you ground each other back in reality.

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How to massage a penis with lingam massage strokes

“OK, what now?” you say with a fully lubed phallus betwixt your equally gloopy hands. If you’re worried about becoming a deer in headlights, don’t worry. We’ll give you a baseline of stroking techniques that put the “ate” in “ejaculate.” 

The skiing stroke

This stroke involves long, gliding movements from the base of the penis to the tip. Use both hands to create a smooth, flowing motion, kinda like you’re, wait for it, skiing down a slope.

The screwdriver stroke

This technique involves twisting your hand as you move up and down the shaft. The key is to be gentle and use lots of oil or lube — you aren’t wringing out a wet towel.

The crossed prayer stroke

Time to get on your knees and pray. This technique requires you to lace your fingers in a prayer-like gesture and slide them down the shaft, applying gentle pressure as you move up and down.

The teasing stroke

Is your partner’s body on the cusp of sheer bliss? Well, before you caress a veritable carafe of cum out of his spirit sausage, try the teasing stroke on for size. Use your fingertips to lightly trace around the sensitive areas, like the head and the base, and you’ll find out what god he’s really praying to.

The circle stroke

This one’s really simple. Create circular motions around the head of the penis with your fingertips. This is one massaging technique where you can really play with pressure, alternating between lighter and heavier strokes or even reversing the circle to pull an M. Night Shyamalan on their shaft.

Lingam massage benefits

Why else would someone give or get a lingam massage other than to have a spiritual-level orgasm? We didn’t think you’d need another reason, but here you go — more reasons to touch dicks.

• Enhanced intimacy: It’s hot, it’s heavy, and it’s fostering a deeper connection between you and your partner. A missionary quickie with your T-shirt still on is nothing to sneeze at, but this is the kind of sex you have with not just anyone; you have it with a lover.
• Increased sensitivity: The penis is sensitive, like an Enya track or a subby bottom being put in his place. But lingam massages heighten the sensitivity even further, leading to more gratifying sexual experiences.
• Stress relief: Massages and orgasms both relieve stress and combining them provides the ultimate form of relaxation. Just do yourself a favor and clear your calendar after any tantric sex experience. Chances are likely you’ll spend the rest of the day lying in bed, eating microwave mac and cheese, and falling asleep.
• Improved communication: Trying new sex stuff is the gateway to enhanced communication throughout a relationship. It’ll also translate well to more open dialogues during sex stuff you’re already doing. (You can finally tell him about that TMJ!)
• Spiritual connection: Tantric sex can be sacred, so partners who want to build a spiritual connection should consider it to deepen their connection.

The happiest of happy endings

While you’re down there realigning his cock chakra, here’s a final piece of advice: Lingam massage and other tantric sex acts don’t necessarily end in orgasm. If you want to make the most of the experience, sit with it fully.

Wet his perineum until it glistens in the moonlight from that broken warehouse window. Use so much massage oil that you worry your partner will slide away like they’re whitewater rafting. And above all else, aim to combine sexual and spiritual arousal into something so beautiful that this happy ending becomes just the beginning.

Looking for a like-minded masseuse or someone with a full body to massage? You’ll find plenty of both on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started.