Missionary Impossible: How a Classic Sex Position Claimed the Top Spot for 2024
It’s official: Missionary has been crowned Grindr’s “Sex Position of the Year,” beating out classics like doggy style, cowgirl, and spooning. It may seem a little strange, considering we often think of missionary as “boring” and “vanilla”—a position for folks who lack imagination. (And if you’ve been on Grindr, you know many users have extremely unique and creative sexual desires.) But missionary is anything but bland.
Missionary leaves no room to hide. Your face is visible, your body pressed so close you can feel the shifting of ribs and hip bones. It asks you to look—not just a passing glance, but a real look. At their mouth, their eyes, the lines of their forehead. It strips away the distractions that other positions allow, demanding a level of presence that feels uncomfortably raw.
There’s also an intensity to it: their eyes locked on yours, their hands gripping your thighs, their sweat dripping onto your face. It’s messy, intimate, and overwhelming in the best way. When they cum inside you, and you finish onto your chest, it’s not just about pleasure. It’s about being fully seen, fully there, in a way that feels almost impossible to fake.
And in 2024, when genuine moments are harder to find, this closeness feels special. It’s not just sex—it’s a simple, honest connection in a world that often isn’t.
People say you can only feel that kind of connection with someone you love, or at least someone who’s met your parents, but that’s not true. You can find it with a stranger, someone whose name you might not catch or remember, someone who smells faintly of mint or fabric softener. In missionary, there’s nowhere to hide; your faces are right there, watching each other in real-time.
This fleeting intimacy can enhance sex, turning a run-of-the-mill hook-up into a transcendent experience. (I’m not saying you’ll see God when you cum, but I’m not saying you won’t!)
For most queer men, sex isn’t that hard to come by. After all, we can hop on Grindr, and depending on where we live, there are likely a few guys who are down to come over and bone right then and there. But a genuine sexual connection—an intimate sexual experience—that’s harder to find. Missionary, where you look into your partner’s eyes, can help you get there. So, let’s throw our legs back and celebrate missionary as Grindr’s Position of the Year, not just for its simplicity but for its potential to foster meaningful moments of intimacy.
About Me: I’m Zachary Zane, Grindr’s first-ever sex and relationship expert. For the past decade, I’ve been writing candidly about queer love, intimacy, and everything in between. My work includes the advice column “Sexplain It” for Men’s Health and “Navigating Non-Monogamy” for Cosmo, where I help people untangle the messy, beautiful parts of their relationships.
I’m also the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, a critically acclaimed book that dives into overcoming sexual shame and embracing an authentic, unapologetic life. My goal is simple: to help people feel more connected, more confident, and more seen—whether they’re navigating a casual hookup, a long-term partnership, or something in between.
Outside of work, I’m an openly bisexual advocate who believes in normalizing honest, open conversations about sex and relationships. And, yes, I’ve learned a thing or two from my own experiences—plenty of them from Grindr itself.
