What Is a Power Top? Top of the Topping Totem Pole

In the gay world, tops are pretty straightforward. The guy whose sausage you’re hiding? That’s a top, baby. But power tops? Does such a mythical creature exist? And if so, what kind of bait will draw them out of hiding? Inquiring bottoms want to know.

It turns out your approach of throwing it back and hoping for the best might not cut it; power tops are much more complex than many bottoms give them credit for. If you’re expecting a soulless AI built solely for fucking, you’ll be sorely disappointed. We would rather be sorely satisfied.

We’ll teach you the meaning of power top so you can prepare your cheeks for a powerful clapping (or become the Topinator 5000 you always wanted to be).

What is a power top?

In gay men’s parlance, a top is someone who prefers to stay on the penetrating side of the sexual equation. A power top comes with a crucial addendum: He also likes to take control and be dominant during sex. If those two factors sound synonymous to you, then you should read up on the difference between tops and Doms.

Power tops (often intentionally) exude that classic “top energy” to let others know what their evening has in store. However, this isn’t a requirement. A sub in the streets may be a Dom in the sheets; it’s more common than you’d think.

Power top vs. power bottom

Although they might seem like polar opposites, power tops and power bottoms share certain similarities. Both positions receive and wield power. A power top is dominant, often controlling what happens in the bedroom. The power bottom does the same, but the difference is — you guessed it — he’s bottoming. Scientists have offered a generous cash prize to anyone with evidence of a power vers in the wild.

Some say you can pick out a power top on sight at a gay bar. But trust us; once enough burly, bearded bottoms have bought you a drink, you realize you shouldn’t make assumptions about who’s ass is grass and who’s doing the mowing.

Power top facts

Power tops are woefully misunderstood, so let’s dispel some common misconceptions about this powerful position. Once you learn the truth, myths aren’t the only thing you’ll be busting.

Power tops have feelings, too

There’s a stigma that tops are (or have to be) battle-hardened, strong-but-silent types with thousand-yard stares. That a true-blue top is incapable of feeling anything other than the blood leaving his brain on the way to his cock.

But that’s just toxic masculinity talking. Power tops are perfectly capable of emotions, and they want tenderness and dignity just like anyone else. So, please be nice.

Power tops don’t necessarily last longer

Don’t assume every power top can drill, baby, drill long after he’s struck oil. It seems silly to keep repeating this point, but they’re just people. Performance is bound to vary, and porn is not a stellar benchmark.

Power tops can be switches

There’s no rule dictating that a self-described power top can’t also feel submissive from time to time. Desire is a slippery mistress, and those who like to play around with power dynamics will often “switch” between submissive and dominant. Even better if he’s a vers switch — the universal boner.

Power tops can develop an emotional connection during sex

It’s a damaging myth that power tops (or gay men in general) don’t attach any emotions to their sexual experiences. Sure, hookups are a thing, but we all catch feelings. Many power tops can easily connect with their sexual partners; some would even argue the Dom/sub dynamic can strengthen these feelings.

Heck, he might even be into soft domming. You’ll find out if you’re a very good boy.

Anyone can be a power top

You’re not born with some genetic predisposition to power topping. If you like to top and take control, those are the only prerequisites to turn the power on.

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How to have a safe power top experience

So, you’re ready to power top or receive a heavy-duty load. But how does it actually work? Here’s what you should know to have a safe and sexy experience:

Talk consent

A sexual situation with a power top brings control dynamics to the forefront, which means you need to have a conversation about consent. Not that you should ever skip this step with any sex partner — consent should always be crystal clear from both parties. But it’s especially vital if one of the participants is ceding some level of control over the situation.

Prepare thyself

You should be mentally and physically prepared, whether you’re giving or receiving. If you’re bottoming, ensure you’re well-lubricated to avoid injuries, even if things get intense. If you’re topping, research sex positions that will give you optimal leverage and do whatever you need to do to feel confident to take charge. Oh, and everybody should bring adequate protection (duh!).

Keep things comfy 

Aside from keeping a metric fuckton of lube on hand, you should also consider how you’ll pace your experience. An experienced power top knows he doesn’t have to blow his metaphorical load all at once. You’re often better off starting slow with any kind of anal penetration, then gradually working up to the meat-cleaving pile-driver position once everything is adequately tenderized.

Give and receive feedback

You might be a power top, but when receiving feedback about your performance, we recommend you open wide. (We’re talking about your ears, of course.) Even if you have to bite the pillow to get through it, you’ll learn how to better please your partner in future encounters. 

Tops can also provide feedback for their bottom partners. Let him know if you liked how he reacted to certain thrusts or movements. Ask what worked and what didn’t. A truly great power top cares about pleasing his partner as much as himself. We stan a pleasure Dom!

Aftercare

You already knew it was coming; that’s right, it’s our BFF, aftercare! Power topping usually incorporates Dom/sub dynamics, meaning it should receive similar treatment to any other BDSM scene. After tossing the bottom around like a supple pizza dough, both partners should take a beat to bring themselves back down to Earth. Aftercare could mean simple cuddling and forehead kisses or taking time to debrief about the experience — whatever works for you two.

Be (consensually) aggressive! Be, be (consensually) aggressive!

You’ve got the power! Hopefully, now you also have a better understanding of what makes a power top frick — er, tick. With this deep play-by-play of how the dynamic plays out, you can take things deeper, harder, faster, stronger, sweatier, and wetter with your partner in the bedroom. Just prioritize your partner’s comfort and pleasure; you’ll surely come out on top.

Whether you’re a power top or an insatiable bottom, you’ll find what you’re after on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started!