The Abrosexual Experience: Love With No Labels

Some people are comfortable eating the same breakfast every Sunday, walking the same route through the park, and throwing on The Office for a millionth rewatch — and we love that for them! But others crave a little more variety. The same can be said for sexuality.

Many figure out their sexual orientation or sexual identity early on and stick with it. But what about those who don’t feel represented by any of the heavyweights in the wide world of sexual orientation? Maybe your desires fluctuate over time, and labels like bisexual and pansexual don’t quite fit the bill.

Enter abrosexuality — a sexual orientation meant to fit the sexually fluid in our society. Let’s examine what makes someone abrosexual and how you can support your local abros, including yourself — if that’s your jam.

What is abrosexual?

Abrosexuality is a fluid sexual orientation characterized by changes in sexual attraction over time. An abrosexual person may be attracted to different genders at different times. Their desires can vary from week to week, day to day, or even within the same day. This fluidity distinguishes abrosexuality from more static orientations and allows individuals to embrace a dynamic relationship with their attractions.

The term “abrosexual” is derived from the prefix “abro,” meaning “delicate” or “graceful,” which denotes this sexuality’s dynamic and flexible nature. “Abro” is combined with “sexual,” meaning “who you want to bang.” (We probably didn’t need to tell you that.)

Unlike labels such as “bicurious,” abrosexuality doesn’t imply uncertainty or questioning of one’s sexual and romantic preferences. You can be totally confident in your sexuality as it changes over time. For many abrosexual individuals, this fluidity is liberating, as it allows them to explore shifts in their feelings and connections without attachment to a single label.

Abrosexuality compared with other sexual orientations

What distinguishes an abrosexual from other, better-known sexual orientations like pansexual and bisexual? Here’s a clearer picture of how these identities present in one’s sex life:

Abrosexual vs. asexual

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to others. An abrosexual individual may experience varying levels of sexual attraction depending on the time and context, meaning they may occasionally align with asexuality. If the intensity of one’s desire is the only aspect that shifts (as opposed to varying gender preferences), it’s often called gray asexuality (or graysexuality).

Abrosexual vs. pansexual

Pansexuality is an attraction to individuals regardless of their gender identity. Pansexual people may feel attraction to anyone at any time. Conversely, abrosexual individuals may identify with many orientations over time, including pansexuality, but do not necessarily feel a constant attraction to all genders simultaneously.

Abrosexual vs. bisexual

Bisexuality means attraction to two or more genders. Unlike pansexual attraction, bisexuality allows for gender preferences. Bisexuality implies a more consistent pattern of attraction than abrosexuality. An abrosexual person’s attractions may shift frequently, whereas a bisexual person often has stable attractions to specific genders without the same level of fluidity.

Alternative terms for abrosexuality

Abrosexuality feeling a little too formal for you? Some people prefer to describe abrosexuality as having a “fluid sexual orientation” or being “sexually fluid.” As you might have guessed, dynamic sexual attraction is different for every person. Whether a person who identifies as abrosexual also identifies as sexually fluid is entirely their call. Respect whatever terms a person is most comfortable with, and they’ll likely do the same for you.

Examples of abrosexuality in the wild

Even if you don’t know anyone who identifies as abrosexual, you’ve probably met someone who shows abrosexual tendencies. For example, a person who identifies as bisexual might experience a shift in their attraction toward solely men — and they might not feel any confusion along the way. They may even continue to identify as bisexual; no one’s stopping them. But they may find identifying as abrosexual makes more sense for them.

Abrosexual could also include someone who feels attracted to different genders at different times, specifically when influenced by their environment. Maybe they feel a bit more “gay” around their gay friends. Heck, maybe their sexual attraction fluctuates based on life experiences or their emotional state.

Ultimately, it’s up to the individual to identify their sexuality as abro. Even if you recognize your friends or yourself in these examples, abrosexuality doesn’t have to resonate with you. The whole point is to stay fluid, so don’t stress over the semantics!

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The abrosexual flag

The abrosexual flag has five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom, they are green, light green, white, light pink, and pink. The flag’s origins and meaning are a mystery, but its gradient of unusual colors effectively conveys a sexuality in flux.

Telling others you’re abrosexual

Are you reading this and realizing something about yourself? If you feel seen and heard after getting the skinny on abrosexuality, then it’s time to do some soul searching and let your loved ones know who you are.

Remember to approach any conversations about sexual orientation with as much honesty and confidence as you can muster. This is a lot easier in a safe and comfortable environment. And it’s even easier when you come prepared with answers to some likely questions, especially if the person you’re telling isn’t familiar with the abrosexual orientations.

Hopefully, it won’t take much explanation, but emphasize that your experience is valid and a part of what makes you who you are. Living authentically can lift an enormous weight off your shoulders once you realize how many people will love and support you as you are.

How to support abrosexual people

So how can you support a friend, partner, or family member who comes out as abrosexual? Here’s how you can be a bro to them and validate their experience!

Educate yourself

Well, would you look at that — you’re already well on your way toward being more supportive of the sexually fluid individuals in your life. But stay hungry for that knowledge if you want to be a faithful ally!

Respect the identity

An abrosexual person wants to feel seen and heard just like any other. Use the correct terms and acknowledge their fluidity without question.

Encourage open dialogue

It’s OK if you aren’t as familiar as you’d like to be with diverse sexual orientations. But talking about it curiously and respectfully is different from interrogating the person and trying to poke holes in their identity. An open mind can reduce stigma and increase understanding.

The future is sexually fluid

Sexual identity is an exciting part of our existence. It’s a major part of how we’re perceived in society, and conversations around it are becoming increasingly layered and nuanced. Hopefully, everyone will soon realize sexual desire is yet another thing that doesn’t fit into a strict binary.

That’s what abro individuals have figured out; their experience doesn’t fit into the heterosexual, homosexual, or even bisexual molds. An abrosexual’s attraction is fluid by definition — and we could all learn from this. We’re all constantly changing and evolving beings. We should celebrate others embarking on that journey and enjoy it when we’re on it ourselves.

Interested in finding more sexually fluid friends in your area? Find abro or a bro to meet up with on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started.