Aceflux Explained: Because Asexuality Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

We recognize sides as a foil to the top and bottom binary. We know there are more than two genders. But what about sexuality? Given that we’ve accepted the roughly 453 alternative milks as acceptable stand-ins for dairy, it’s time to give sexuality and sexual identity that same treatment.

Between asexual and allosexual, there exists a beautiful spectrum of graysexuality. (It’s a very vibrant gray, OK?) Aceflux is part of that in-between. If you’ve ever wondered, “What is aceflux?” you’re in the right place.  

Aceflux meaning

Being human means comfortably living with contradiction. You can love Teenage Dream and still question Katy Perry’s life choices. You can fall in love with a power bottom twink and be glad he lives 1,700 miles away. Being aceflux is no different. 

Aceflux people exist on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrum. They primarily identify with asexuality, meaning they experience no sexual attraction. However, unlike strict asexuals, aceflux folks may experience periods of allosexuality or alloromanticism. Basically, they feel sexual or romantic attraction once in a blue moon — like a sexual werewolf. (Is there any other kind?)

Aceflux people identify somewhere along the asexual spectrum, but their specific position varies over time — ace as in asexual, flux as in fluctuating. Note that aceflux is a sexual identity, not sexual orientation, so aceflux folks can be gay, queer, or even straight.

Aceflux flag and symbol

In a stroke of genius branding, aceflux folks are one of the few sexual identities with their own symbol. They’re represented by a squiggly line within a circle. The wavy line represents how an aceflux person’s sexual or romantic attraction fluctuates. 

The aceflux flag is represented by five gradient stripes that transition from red at the top to purple at the bottom. The red represents allosexuality (i.e., the experience of sexual attraction), and the purple represents asexuality (aka the lack of sexual attraction). The gradient is meant to signify that attraction is fluid for aceflux folks. 

Aceflux relationships

In a perfect world, people in relationships would always experience identical levels of sexual and romantic attraction and arousal. For that matter, in a perfect world, people in relationships would crave the same things for dinner each night. But we live in the real world, where attraction varies, and some tummies aren’t built for daily Taco Bell. 

Aceflux people might be just as interested in a relationship as allosexual people, but certain relationship structures will work better for them or be of greater interest. Some might prefer no-strings-attached sexual flings, whereas others prefer deep, romantic relationships that rarely involve sex.

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Aceflux and other identities

As our understanding of sexuality, sexual orientation, and gender continues to grow, so will the vocabulary we use to describe it. These terms might seem strange at first, but they’re quickly woven into the rich tapestry of the queer community. It’s not so crazy. Heck, ciabatta bread was only invented in the 1980s, but we couldn’t imagine living without it.

Speaking of delicious buns that are only occasionally wrapped around spicy meats, here are some sexual identities related to aceflux:

Abrosexual

Sometimes used as a synonym for aceflux, abrosexual is a broad umbrella term to describe people who have a fluctuating sexual identity while still identifying with asexuality.

Acespike

Asexuals may not be sexual, but they sure do love a portmanteau. Acespike pulls together asexual and spike and is used by those who identify as asexual but experience sudden and intense moments of sexual attraction. These sexual spikes are generally not sustained over long periods.

Demisexual

Demisexual is a sexual identity used by people who only feel sexual attraction to people after developing a deep emotional connection and relationship. Demiromantics feel the same way about love — no schoolyard crushes for them!

Some aceflux people may experience moments of demisexuality when they have formed a bond with a close friend, but the sexual or romantic feelings will likely be temporary.

Fraysexual

Frasexuality is kind of like love at first sight with a time limit. Fraysexuals may experience immediate and intense sexual or romantic attraction to someone, but that initial attraction fades (or frays) as they get to know them. This doesn’t mean the fraysexual is repulsed by the person the longer they know them or that the other person has done anything wrong. Sexuality works in mysterious ways.

How to support aceflux people

Supporting aceflux people (or anyone on the asexual spectrum) starts with understanding and listening with an open heart and mind. All anyone really wants is to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are (and also universal healthcare, for their barista to remember their order, and another great Beyoncé album — but beggars can’t be choosers). 

It wasn’t long ago that any sexual orientation other than straight was considered unacceptable. LGBTQ people have fought long and hard for a place at the table. Even if aceflux people are sometimes straight, they still deserve allyship. 

Asexuality and aromanticism might feel new to you, but asexuals have always been around. So, if you ever hear someone question the validity of an aceflux person’s identity, call it out and stand up for your queer community.

If this is the first you’re hearing about asexuality or aceflux, congrats on taking the first step to learn something new — but this is just the tip of the iceberg. No matter your sexual orientation or gender identity, understanding more about your community is an ongoing process. Enjoy the journey!

Find your right fit

The hardest part of being aceflux is when the mood strikes, but you haven’t laid the groundwork to capitalize on your urges. If only there was an easy way to get hot and horny studs delivered to your door. Wait a minute… That’s what we do!

The best part? Grindr isn’t just about hooking up. Download the Grindr app today and find your next BFF, masseuse, or pal to pal around with.