BDSM Sexting: So Real and So Kinky

Sometimes, a text needs to say, “Don’t forget to pick up dog food on the way home.” Other times, “You’re eating food out of a dog bowl when you get home.”

If you’re already considering or deeply enmeshed in a life of BDSM, then you’re probably searching for ways you can inject some of that adrenaline into the mundane and everyday. And what could be more mundane than checking your phone? Instead of swiping away Facebook notifications from your estranged aunt, you could be getting messages telling you to prepare your ass for the spanking of a lifetime.

The written word can carry a lot of emotion and weight. We’ll show you exactly how to wield it to express your desires with BDSM sexting. You better grab some more dog food, boys.

Isn’t normal sexting enough?

Maybe for some, but if you’re perfectly content with the norm, then you probably wouldn’t be reading about kinky sexting in the first place.

BDSM isn’t just about the act; it’s often the mindset, the concept, and the anticipation that bring forth some intense desires. Talking dirty with your partner is a great way to get into that headspace.

Incorporating BDSM texts into your sex life is also a phenomenal method for those who want to keep the Dom/sub dichotomy going, even when he’s busy at work or at the gym. Picking up your phone and reminding your hard-working partner who’s really the boss is often a major turn-on for BDSM enthusiasts.

Standard rules for BDSM still apply; just because you’re doing this over text doesn’t mean you can forgo safe words or consent. Establish how far you’ll take the sexting, and don’t push those boundaries. 

It’s also wise to have a conversation about aftercare. You and your partner should feel comfortable sending and receiving kink texts, so discuss beforehand and debrief after.

Tie up his phone with these kinky BDSM sexting ideas

Ready for some sexting inspiration that will inevitably lead to wonderfully kinky sex? Here are 30 positively filthy messages you can send to your partner that will cement you either as the good little sub or the master dom.

Ideas for submissives

1. “I want to please you so bad I can’t think about anything else.”

Your dom will always be happy to hear you’re obsessed with his pleasure.

2. “I’ve been so bad. How do you plan to punish me?”

Get specific with the fantasy and have your dom lay it on the line: What’s in store for his little whore?

3. “Please tie me up and fuck me. I promise I’ll be good.”

Sometimes, you only need a few words during dirty talk to bring it into the realm of BDSM. Say “please” so he knows you’re begging.

4. “I’m getting hard thinking about how you make me work for your cock.”

Tell your dom how much being submissive turns you on. You’ll get plenty of attention (or the cold shoulder, if that’s your kink).

5. “Please use me when you get home.”

Who doesn’t love a little degradation? Let him know you’re always there for his pleasure.

6. “I think I deserve a spanking as punishment for what I did yesterday.”

This text is a fantastic option if you forgot to fulfill your doms demands — or if you enjoy being a little brat who needs some pain with your pleasure.

7. “Tell me what to do with my body.”

Encourage your dom to engage his erotic side via text by reminding him he’s in charge even when you’re apart.

8. “I want you to tie me up, blindfold me, and make me squirm.”

If you’re into bondage, this is a great way to let your dom know he’s got you on the ropes. Go the extra mile and set up an impromptu sex dungeon for him when he gets home.

9. “Can I touch myself while I think of you?”

When you’re a sub, it’s better to both ask for permission and beg for forgiveness. Let his dominant words be your porn!

10. “I want you to be extra rough with me tonight.”

Maybe you’re not always in the mood for BDSM, but you’re feeling particularly spicy tonight. Give him the green light to make it hurt with a text like this.

11. “What would you do to me if you were here right now?”

You’re a sub, after all; why not let your dom take the lead? This is another opportunity to let him unleash his sexually creative side.

12. “How can I earn your cock when you get home?”

If you’re the kind of sub that loves when your dom makes you work for it, give him the fuel he needs to come up with some particularly sexy or unique ideas.

13. “I want you to push me up against this wall and fuck me.”

Who says you have to be far apart to get your sext on? Shoot this text his way from across the table at a nice restaurant if you want your meal extra hot.

14. “I wish you were home so you could play with me.”

Make him miss his favorite plaything. Texts like these have a hint of sweetness to them, which can be a nice change of pace, even though it still fits the kink and bondage texting requirements.

15. “Remember when I did that thing yesterday? Did it please you, sir?”

Who doesn’t love a nice nostalgia trip? Remind him of your most recent BDSM escapade and ask how he felt about the orgasm, both for some hot reminiscence and some valuable intel.

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Ideas for dominants

1. “I’ll be home in 10 minutes. I want you at the front door on your knees, ready for me.”

No matter your title — master, sir, daddy — every sub will appreciate a simple, straightforward, and sexy command.

2. “I can’t wait to use you as my personal toy all night long.”

If it’s within your dom wheelhouse, let your sub know how excited you are to get dick-deep inside him.

3. “Be a good boy and send me a picture of you in that underwear I like.”

Have him send you a sexy picture in his underwear, panties, or totally nude. After all, you’re calling the shots here.

4. “I’ve had a stressful day. I hope you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make me feel better.”

This one is open-ended, which can be incredibly sexy and open the floor up for steamy banter.

5. “You’ve been so naughty lately. I think it’s time I teach you a lesson.”

Same concept as the text above. Keep your submissive hottie guessing with your every word.

6. “You’ve been so good lately. I think it’s time I reward you with a mind-blowing orgasm.”

If your sub has a praise kink, the inverse could work just as well. Let him know he’s been doing an excellent job servicing you.

7. “I can’t stop thinking about bending you over and having my way with you.”

A BDSM text like this is an opportunity to get poetic — even graphic — about what “having your way” really looks like. Use that imagination for your domination!

8. “Whatever you’re doing right now, stop and go use that toy I bought you.”

The power of BDSM sexts is that they can turn a mundane day into something exciting; this is the perfect example.

9. “I’m tying you up when we get home later.”

Whether it’s shibari or handcuffs or whatever, be specific about all the hot and kinky restraints you’re planning to tangle him up in.

10. “I’m gonna make you beg for it.”

You’re in charge. You know he wants it. And he can have it — when you say so.

11. “Tell me what you’d do to me right now to make me feel good.”

Have him do the dirty work — literally — by writing you a creative little essay about how he plans to service you.

12. “Whenever you wear those pants, I wanna tear them off and fuck you.”

This one’s great if you’re out together. Let him know that what he’s wearing turns you on.

13. “You’ve got quite the mouth on you. Maybe we should put it to work.”

Here’s a dominant thing to say that’s the perfect rebuttal when your submissive’s sexting is getting a bit too cheeky.

14. “You’re getting a spanking.”

Sometimes, less is more. Be blunt about your plans for the evening.

15. “You’re making me so hard. I expect you to be ready to deal with that when I get home.”

This is an excellent, sexy text to throw out there when you’re already deep in the throes of BDSM-themed dirty talk.

Whip ’em with your words

You’re free to riff as you please using these texts as your guide. Sometimes, the best thing you can send is precisely what you want with no preamble, pomp, or filter. If you wanna drink his piss, you better let him know.

One final reminder for the folks: If any of these texts seemed too extreme, congratulations — you’ve found your boundary. Let that inform your BDSM boundary-making, and don’t forget to talk it out before engaging in any act. And have a safe word, even if you’re only sexting.

But what if you don’t have a delicious dom or succulent sub in your life to use these phrases on? Find someone to practice these texts with (consensually!) on Grindr. You’re bound to match with a man who fits the glass handcuffs.

Download the Grindr app now and get started!