Rigger BDSM: Tying the Knot in Kinky Style

Some people want to be free from the ropes that bind them. Others are pretty comfy when they’re all wrapped up.

Rigging isn’t an act semi-truck drivers perform in the privacy of their vehicles (well, not necessarily). It’s a kink that involves tying someone up. Although an affinity for being bound during sex isn’t unique to riggers, BDSM rope play goes beyond tying a few basic knots and hoping for the best.

So what is a rigger, and how can you try rigging for yourself? We won’t string you along any further; we’re sure the suspension is killing you (or making you insatiably horny). It’s time to talk about tying the knot. Just not that knot.

Origins of the rigger kink

Rigging and rope play have ancient roots that date back to ancient Egypt and Rome. But most people would attribute today’s style of rigging to shibari. Shibari is an erotic Japanese art based on military martial arts, torture, and restraint methods from the Edo period.

The erotic art of rope play has undergone many evolutions over centuries of practice. It continues to gain popularity in the West and has been adopted as a cornerstone of BDSM culture. 

Like most kinks, the internet has made it mainstream; the emergence of online communities and kink-friendly sites (and, yes, porn) have made rigging and knot play more popular than ever before.

5 steps to get started as a rigger

How can you take your first steps into the arousing world of riggery? Here’s how we suggest you start if you want to become a rigger yourself:

1. Decide on the setting

Where would you like your rigging to take place? Sometimes, this will be decided for you based on logistical factors like space and access to hardpoints. But if you’ve got the budget, you can set up a sex room of your own at home. Or, if you’re looking for an audience, you can always hit up your local sex club.

2. Pick your role

Do you see yourself on the submissive or dominant side of the rope? Note that your rigging practices don’t necessarily carry over into other types of play. Many people who prefer a dominant role in other kink practices enjoy getting tied up by a rigger (and vice versa).

3. Select the right rope and materials

You need the proper ropes and rigging equipment to get the job done. No, you can’t string your neighbor up from the rafters with some old butcher’s twine from the pantry. The art of rope requires the right tools, just like any other practice. You can buy purpose-made ropes online that are safer and more comfortable (or uncomfortable, if that’s your thing).

4. Choose the technique

Now that you’ve got your brush and canvas, what picture do you want to paint? This isn’t just a concern of preference but of safety; certain rope practices can be dangerous. The person getting tied up (aka the rope bunny) should know what they’re getting into to guarantee a comfortable and safe time. 

5. Choose a safe word

A safe word is a crucial practice regardless of the kind of sex you’re having. If you don’t have a clear way to tap out of any sexual activities, now’s the time to start brainstorming. Safe words tell everyone to stop what they’re doing and check in — a must for risky kinks.

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Rope materials

The rope you choose for a rigging session matters. Each has its benefits and drawbacks, so let’s review what each one brings to the table. Or ceiling. Or whatever else you want to strap someone to.

Natural fiber ropes

Natural fibers are made from hemp, jute, or cotton. Many professional riggers prefer going au naturel because of the rough texture. These ropes naturally have excellent grip and won’t slip as much. Natural fiber ropes are also ideal for making more intricate knots, and as a fun bonus, you can even dye them to match your highlights, mood, or preferred pride flag.

It’s not all ropes and roses with natural fibers, though. First, they tend to wear out faster than synthetic ones. And although they’re easy to work with as the rigger, they’re not always as comfy for the one being rigged. It’s mostly a personal preference, but generally, natural fiber ropes are a good investment if you plan to incorporate this kink into your life in earnest.

Synthetic ropes

Synthetic ropes are typically made of polyester or nylon. They’re much cheaper, making them a great introduction to knot play or rigging if you don’t want to break the bank on something that could eventually collect dust in your closet. There are also some practical benefits; they’re less prone to fraying and more comfortable against your skin (which could be good or bad, depending on who you ask). 

Where synthetic ropes fall short is in the actual knot tying. These ropes are stretchier and more slippery than their natural fiber counterparts. If you don’t have Eagle Scout training, you might have more trouble tying complicated knots.

Essential basic knots

Let’s go over the basics: tying a knot in a way that doesn’t hurt your sub or slip right off. If you’re the rigger, you want to learn simple knots that bind the limbs in a way that doesn’t induce pain or discomfort (okay, maybe a little discomfort is welcome). Here are some of the basic knot techniques:

• The figure-eight knot
• The half knot
• The noose knot (NOT for necks)
• The half hitch
• The square knot

These are just a few. Fortunately for riggers, you don’t have to learn them all — just whichever makes the most sense to you at first. But practice makes perfect, so don’t forget to practice your knots outside of kink scenes to ensure they’re operational and comfy.

Ensure you’ve mastered the basics before moving on to more complicated ties. Other aspects of shibari and rigging (e.g., suspension) are reserved for the big leagues, so start small and work your way up. Trust us, get the hang of things in no time.

Safety precautions

Like all kink practices, safety is paramount.

For starters, you need open communication. Talk with your partner before any knots are tied. Establish clear, safe words you wouldn’t otherwise use in this situation (“tighter” is probably a bad pick), and check in regularly to ensure everyone’s comfortable.

Trust us, it won’t ruin the mood. You know what really ruins the mood? When participants are uncomfortable and feel like they can’t speak up.

Proper technique should also be considered when you practice rigging. It’s the dominant partner’s responsibility to ensure the submissive partner is comfortable and safe. That means avoiding tying knots that tighten during the practice. This can cut off the bunny’s circulation or put dangerous amounts of pressure on sensitive areas. Practice your knots and understand their uses.

Finally, all the precautions in the world aren’t enough to keep a submissive partner 100% safe. Even if there’s adequate communication and practice, accidents can still happen. Keep a pair of safety scissors handy in case you need to get someone out quickly. These can immediately free the submissive partner so you can address whatever went wrong.

Consent and aftercare

Informed consent is vital for any kink practice, but especially one that carries a significant risk of bodily harm. Everyone should research beforehand and lay out precisely what they’re comfortable with. A BDSM checklist is often helpful for this step.

Regardless of how tame or intense your practice is, you and your partner should always practice aftercare. Certain scene dynamics can expose a vulnerability you may not even realize you have. Your partner should help take care of you when you feel exposed in that way.

Aftercare can include many things:

• Talking about what just happened
• Cuddling in silence
• Going to the Taco Bell drive-thru

It doesn’t matter what it is — just that you carve out the time to do it.

It was rigger-morris, girl!

There’s a lot of intimacy and understanding to be gained when practicing rigging. So, if you’re even slightly curious about sex with knots, give it a shot. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find that being restrained or restraining another is the missing piece in your sex life that ties it all together. 

Looking to get covered in a different kind of rope? Whether you’re into vanilla sex or hardcore kink, there’s someone out there for you on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to get started.