The Gay Twitter Gift Guide

These days internet gift guides are as common as holiday films (of which, they are 82 out this season, including several of queer offerings for the first time). There are gift guides for boyfriends, gift guides for practicing self-care, and even gift guides that recommend a $2,000 Ouija Board.

So how does one subvert gift guides’ most common trope, experts select gifts for a niche audience, for a publication such as this? By consulting a population that has lots of recommendations, but virtually no expertise: Gay Twitter — where the takes are hot and the brains are smooth. (I can say this, as a card-carrying member.)

I surveyed seven Gay Twitter personalities for holiday gift recommendations giving them no theme or guidance when I made my request. Their picks range from the super dystopian to the super gay, with candles being a common theme in both buckets.

Each contributor included one gift, like for a boyfriend, and one stocking stuffer, like for a hot stranger who lives in a different state that you’ve been DMing since mid-March.

Alex Abad-Santos, @alex_abads | New York, NY

Gift

I'm financially slutty and irresponsible when it comes to candles, so if you really want to impress someone with a great present, go with Byredo's candles ($85) —  Ambre Japonais, Peyote Poem, and Bibliotheque are my favorites. Yes, they're pretentious — instead of telling you what they smell like, Byredo has fashioned tiny, flowery vignettes for each scent — and they're expensive, but a fancy candle is one way to make someone's space feel a little more livable this time of year through the seemingly inevitable next wave of lockdowns.

Stocking stuffer

‍Is it bleak to give someone a mask as a stocking stuffer? Yes probably, but unless you've got an in at Moderna or Pfizer, masks will continue to be a fixture in our sad realities. The best one I've tried is from a company called AsWeMove whose pre-mask claim to fame is performance, dancey-looking underwear. The masks, called Stealthshields ($15), are the most comfortable and breathable I've tried and kinda make you look like a superhero at the same time. They're also really great to work out in (if gyms and outdoor training are still open and happening).

B Graeter, @the_petshopboy | New York, NY

Gift

‍My pick for a gift is a puppy (Priceless), to give you bitches a reason to sit your ass at home this holiday pandemic season. Tired? Pics of your trips back and forth to Tulum, Puerto Vallarta, and Miami at the height of uncontrolled viral spread. Wired? Pics of you and your puppy — at home.

Stocking stuffer

‍Alcohol consumption has increased across the board this year, with Nielsen reporting alcohol online sales increasing over 250% from 2019. Drinking through (at least the first half of) 2021, is no excuse for your skin to suffer. Some of y’all need to include more water in your daily diets, and a Soda Stream ($50) is the perfect way to remedy that. Replace straight vodka with vodka sodas, and your skin complexion will thank you come vaccine time!

Jarett Wieselman, @jarettsays | Los Angeles, CA

Gift

When lockdown ends, I want to emerge looking fresher and younger than I did when it started. That’s why I’ve spent far too much money trying out new skincare routines and I gotta tell you, nothing compares to SkinCeuticals. This Biocellulose Restorative Mask ($120) is one of my favorites, and I’ve been paying careful attention to get as much of the serum as possible around my forehead and eye area (anything visible with a mask on). You truly can’t go wrong with any of their ridiculously expensive but very effective products — plus now I can say with confidence that it costs a lot to look this good.

Stocking stuffer

‍I wasn’t a big homebody before lockdown (mostly just used my apartment for sleeping and, well…) so I didn't really need cute clothes for just lounging around the house. But now that I haven’t had to put on jeans for nine months, I’ve basically been living in these super soft and surprisingly chic Pair Of Thieves sweatpants ($60).

Michael Benjamin, @mfbenji | Los Angeles, CA

Gift

‍My favorite type of gifts to give are small items that are useful but that you’d never buy yourself, such as a pizza cutter shaped like a race car ($25). No one would buy themselves a race car pizza cutter because that’s frivolous, but being gifted one? Brilliant. It’s a fun gift that has a clear purpose. The next time you bake a Trader Joes’s pizza, you’re going to be thrilled to slice that baby with your double-bladed utensil.

Stocking Stuffer

‍Play-Doh ($5). Everyone likes Play-Doh. It’s creative for kids, and it’s a great stress-reliever for adults. Also, my mom always said everyone needs a toy to open during the holidays, even adults, and Play-Doh is the perfect toy that can sit in a desk drawer and keep you entertained while you’re stuck on endless Zoom calls.

R. Eric Thomas, @oureric | Baltimore, MD

Gift

‍People say taste in artwork is subjective but that doesn’t apply if you have good taste. Channel your inner Thomas Crown by giving your friends and relatives a firm push in the interior decor department with a limited edition giclee print by Kadir Nelson ($405-$755), and make sure to remind them that Nelson’s artwork has been featured on the cover of “The New Yorker” multiple times, for that extra dash of taste cred.

Stocking Stuffer

Whether the gift recipient has gotten really into meal prep or is working their way through “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat,” they’ll be surprised by how many uses they can find for a food scale ($14.95). From measuring macros to making macarons, this gift will transform everyone’s food game. And who doesn’t want to weigh their meat?

T. Kyle MacMahon, @tkylemac | New York, NY

Gift

‍Since I'm gay and immunocompromised, two things keeping me company while I'm alone at home during the COVID-19 pandemic are candles and endless cups of iced coffee. Not to sound like an infomercial host, but did you know it’s possible to chill hot coffee in under a minute without melting the ice, watering your coffee down, and completely ruining it? You didn’t? Enter the HyperChiller ($25), which has been making my quarantined mornings (and afternoons, and sometimes evenings) much more pleasant.

Stocking Stuffer

‍My favorite type of candles are three-wick candles; I won’t say which brand because #notsponsored. There was a time when those candles required me to walk to the bodega to buy grill lighters in order to keep my candles lit  (I had a bad incident with a match once, don’t ask.) This flexible rechargeable USB lighter ($14), that I will shamelessly admit I bought after seeing James Charles talk about it on YouTube, eliminates the need for matches or a bulky grill lighter altogether. Sister sustainable.

Anonymous

In a rare show of discretion, one member of Gay Twitter elected to give his recommendation off the record. His advice was too sage not to share. “Just tell the girls to buy a ring light to fix their nudes and call it a day.”

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