Did any of that make sense to you? If so, pat yourself on the bum for being Grindr fluent. But for those who just saw a bunch of letters, allow us to welcome you to the world of queer dating. If you want to get the most out of the apps, you’re going to need to speak the language. Dig in below to discover the acronyms, abbreviations, and other lingo that’s become an inescapable part of the Grindr experience.

A

ANON — Short for “anonymous.” Probably won’t be exchanging phone numbers with this one.

B

Bator — People who tend to enjoy masturbating with others over penetration.

BB — Bareback (sex w/o a condom) 🤠

B/D — Bondage and/or domination. Feeling kinky?

Bear — A larger, typically hairy, gay male.

Bttm — A bottom, or the person who is penetrated during anal sex.

C

Can’t Host — Can’t have ppl over to hookup, possibly has a roommate, or parents.

Closeted — Not publicly out.

D

Daddy — An older gay male who is lusted after by younger men.

Discreet — Someone who values their privacy (could be closeted). Good luck getting a face pic.

DL — Downlow or closeted.

DP — Double Penetration: two penises, one hole.

F

Facepic only — Don’t try and message with just a torso profile.

Free Later? — You will never hear from this person again.

FWB — Friends with benefits (the main benefit being sex).

G

GH — Gloryhole; a hole in a public place where one can insert their penis and receive an anonymous blowjob.

H

Horned up — Aggressively horny.

Hookup — Meet up and have sex. Duh?

Hosting — You are willing to have someone over to your place.

Hung? — This person is a size queen.

I

Into? — No, this is not a question about your favorite hobbies. They mean what are you into sexually.

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J

J/O — Jack off.

Jock — A gay man with an athletic build who is into fitness and/or sports.

L

Leather — A gay man involved in the gay leather subculture.

👀— Looking (for sex)

LTR — No, this is not about Lord of The Rings. LTR means long term relationship.

M

Masc4Masc — Something insecure ppl put on their profile.

💆‍♂️— Fancy a massage?

Milk — What some gay men call semen. Good for your bones!

More pics? — This person can’t tell if you’re their type just yet.

N

Nice — This person is not interested. Sashay away.

NSA — No strings attached (don’t get comfortable).

No Taps — This person has some sort of inexplicable problem with receiving compliments.

NPNC — No pic, no chat.

O

Otter — Gay ppl with fur who run on the lean side.

P

Pig 🐷— Pits, fluids, body odor. Also see: Raw Only.

R

Raw Only — No condoms during anal sex.

RN — Right now.

S

Safe — A fan of safe sex practices: condoms, PrEP, etc.

Showoff — Ppl who want to have public sex.

T

Thicc — A body-positive bigger guy.

Travel — Either on a vacation or lives with his parents.

Twink — A young, hairless gay man.

U

UC — An uncut penis.

Unicorn — A single male who likes to sleep with couples.

V

Vers — Top and bottom bunk.

W

WS — Watersports. Urine for a treat!

Can’t stop crying? Thinking of sending a d**k pic to your ex? Looking for 5’s when you can pull 7’s?? Stop in the name of self love. Self-partnering guru Travis Coles walks us through how to survive Valentine's Day with the only one you need: yourself.

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We all know that the best Grindr chats come from the heart, and that’s why this edition of GRINDR CHAT is so special—it’s all about the heart. Yes, the rumors are true, it’s Valentine’s Day! To celebrate cupid’s reckless arrow, we’ve rounded up some V Day-themed Grindr convos that shock, titillate, and ultimately make us cry…with laughter.

Thank you @Zachnoetowers for curating these pieces of modern (he)art for us.

The hopeless romantic

If you really loved me you’d know the fastest way to my heart is through the ATM.

The children are the future

It’s so beautiful when two people can talk about kids so early in the relationship 😍

The Five Love Languages

Sometimes your sweetheart knows just what to say to brighten your day. Awww.

Film gays

We all know those gays who see everything opening weekend.

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French Kiss

There’s nothing better than romance abroad, even if it’s just your next door neighbor’s apartment.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Metaphor is such a magical device to enhance your romance 🌹

Super Smash Bros

Nothing more romantic than playing “video games” with your bros!

Cupid’s arrow 💘

You never know what Cupid’s up to, that is one crazy mf.

Share your whole heart

“Tis’ better to give than receive” — someone not on Grindr.

The Giphy that keeps on giving 🎁

Always sent with stoopid love.

The perfect man doesn’t exi—

Picture this: It was my 18th birthday. I triple-checked the lock on my door, slid into bed, pulled the covers up, grabbed my phone and proceeded to...download Grindr. Yeah, you heard that right. I didn't have a normal 18th birthday; I didn’t head to the gas station excited to buy a lotto scratcher or hop over to the grocery store to buy a pack of cigarettes while my friends giggled behind my shoulder. I downloaded a gay dating app.

I was ready to enter the world of what I thought was "gay manhood." I think in that first hour I messaged every person on the grid with an annoying "HWYD?" message. Typical Grindr newbie contributing to the stereotypical behavior people complain about on the app. My search came to a quick end when I woke up to a very pixelated photo of a cropped torso with washboard abs named Jeremy. I thought this was going to be my literal future husband. Don't judge me...I was oppressed...I got aroused from staring at TJ Maxx catalogs. Little did I know then that Jeremy was not exactly the man of my dreams.

I was having the time of my life, talking for what felt like years with Jeremy (8 hours in gay time). He knew my favorite color and liked the same genre of movies as I did. I was in love before I had even seen his face. Suddenly, as I was discussing my favorite Sailor Moon episode, he asked me the dreaded question..."any more pics of you?" I immediately responded with "yea, yea. of course!" Five minutes later he said "well? where are they?" I didn’t know what to send. So what does any 18-year-old do? Takes his shirt off and sends a dirty mirror selfie that still haunts him (me) to this day.

But guess what y’all? I was being catfished, if you haven’t caught on. But here’s the twist: I wasn’t being catfished by some random seedy creep looking to fill his spank bank with fresh nudes. I was being catfished by none other than my bible-thumping, Jesus-loving MOTHER. I haven’t heard that woman run up the stairs to my room faster in my entire life.

I was getting ready to leave for college in a few months and boy were those final days in the house awkward. I had to go to church every Sunday and read scriptures on sodomy and adultery, and for a second there I was beginning to think that I was being “fixed” during those Sunday morning services. That didn’t last long, though, after I laid eyes on who I thought was going to be my future husband (see a pattern here?). He was none other than the pastor’s son. Spoiler alert: we hooked up...A LOT.

Needless to say my mother and I are now great and she loves every future husband of mine (they basically change every other week). She still has the picture saved that I sent to “Jeremy.” She brings it up every holiday, and I am reminded that my mother once thought that hitting me in the head with the Bible one afternoon would actually knock the gay out of me. Lol, good times...

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Drop it like it’s hot

I hooked up with a new guy a few weeks ago and after sex as we stood to get dressed he started telling me about his stressful job at a Hollywood agency. Frankly, he was kind of monologuing in an obnoxious way, but it seemed like he really needed to get some stuff off his chest so I let him go off. In the middle of a story he was telling about his monstrous boss, a nugget of shit dropped out of his ass and landed with a loud plop on the floor. He paused for a second and then kept talking. I had no idea what to do so I pretended that it didn’t happen and averted my eyes from the poop that was lounging between his feet. We never mentioned it, and he kept monologuing until he left. I then swiffered my floor and went to bed. Weird night.

Marketing “meeting” in the supply room

Last year I got on Grindr while at work and saw that my co-worker, Chris—who I thought was straight—was online. Chris is 6’4, ruggedly handsome, and has the thickest legs I’ve ever seen. He oozes sex. I don’t know how I got the courage, but I sent him a “hey.” He didn’t respond. I was super bummed, not just because he ignored me, but also because now I would probably feel awkward at work.

I avoided him the rest of the week like the plague, but that Friday, right as I was heading to lunch, Chris came up to me and started asking about my week. We chatted for a minute, and then he said, in his regular work voice, “Would you like to swallow my load?” I nodded and he told me to meet him in the supply room in five minutes. I went back to my desk and counted down. My stomach turned over again and again. Four minutes. Three minutes. Two minutes. One minute. I crept over to the supply room and opened the door—Chris was there leaning against a shelf of printer paper. “Get on your knees.” I shut the door and got on my knees.

Chris unzipped and pulled out a semi-erect dick the size of a small nordic country. I must have looked scared. “Are you scared?” he asked. “Yes.” “Good.” He grabbed the back of my head and filled my mouth with his massive cock. He grew bigger inside of me. I could feel it growing down the back of my throat, filling my entire mouth. My eyes watered. I gagged. “Good boy.” He pulled out and let me catch my breath before he entered me again. He face-fucked me hard for a few minutes until I couldn’t breath. I gagged and pushed him out, his cock still connected to my mouth by a string of saliva. “Are you hungry?” he asked me. “Yes.” “I’m going to feed you.”

He filled me again, his cock harder this time. His dick was so big that tears started streaming down my face. Over and over his cock slid in and out of my throat. Finally he smiled and said, “I’m gonna cum.” I felt a blast of warm, salty, cum fill my mouth and slide down my throat. I had to swallow three times to get it all down. Chris pulled his pants back up. “See you later man,” he said in his regular work voice. Then he left.

I’m proud to announce the launch of Grindr’s updated Privacy Policy today. To be fair, not much has changed from a content perspective, but we did significantly reformat our approach to improve readability, add a few details, and harmonize the privacy options for all users globally. We go to great lengths to be transparent with our users (and those who are curious), and this is an extension of our dedication to that philosophy. Above all, we want our users to understand what information we are collecting and how we may be using it in our quest to provide them the best service possible.  

If you were ever curious or a policy wonk like me, you’ve likely read a portion of a privacy policy here or there because you wanted to know how that company managed your information. Was it easy for you to find what you were looking for? Was it a quick read? Did you read it in its entirety? Did you learn how long they retained your data, what rights were provided to you with respect to your data, and who they may share your data with? In many cases, the answer is probably no. Our Privacy Policy update is intended to help make things easier for you—easier to read, easier to understand, and easier to learn more about topics of your particular interest.

We had several goals for this Privacy Policy revision:

• Reduce the main Privacy Policy to a more consumable size (5 pages!) yet still cover the full breadth of our data collection and use practices
• Globalize our approach to privacy by providing more helpful disclosures and privacy tools irrespective of the user’s jurisdiction
• Provide a new “layer” of detail on core privacy topics like our retention policy and what information we may share with partners

Why “layers”? We’ve embraced a two-layered approach to our Privacy Policy to give users a more consumable top layer—the core Privacy Policy itself, now at only five pages. Five pages is still a good amount, but it’s readable in about 5 mins. And for those who want more specifics on a particular topic, we include a more detailed second layer.

Most privacy policies in the world today take a legal jurisdiction approach to their disclosures and may limit what privacy choices or tools they make available to their customers in different regions of the world. Grindr is committed to the privacy rights of all our users, regardless of their location on the planet. We still make some call-outs for items that are required by law in the EU under the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) or in Cali under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA), but all of our core disclosures and privacy options are provided to all of our users across the globe.

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What’s in a layer? I encourage you to give our updated Privacy Policy a test drive at privacy.grindr.com. Once you’re there you’ll see a list of topics. After you’ve read the full five pages of the core Privacy Policy, you can pick a topic to dive deeper on—for example, data retention. Were you aware that in many cases we only retain user data for seven days or less, and we only store chat history for 48 hours? I also encourage you to jump into our Third Party Partner page, where you’ll see that we give full visibility to all of our ad partners and other types of partners with links to their Privacy Policies. Of course, as Chief Privacy Officer I encourage you to read every topic in the list. But even if you only read the first layer, you’ll have a very good grasp on what happens with your data.

While we’re talking privacy, Apple iOS users should know that we also launched our Apple App Store Privacy Disclosure today. The disclosure lists the data types we collect, and while none of it should be surprising, casual users might lift an eyebrow when they see disclosures like the collection of Financial Information (in some of our user surveys we ask for annual salary range) or Health Information (our users are optionally able to provide their HIV status to other users). And to set the record straight, the only data type from Apple’s list that we share with ad partners for tracking purposes is the user’s Device ID—no information about the user’s Grindr account is shared, despite some in the media saying otherwise.

I hope our users see this new Privacy Policy as a step forward in making Grindr’s data collection and use practices easier to understand and continuing our dedication to providing transparency to what happens behind the scenes of our services.  

Stay tuned for more privacy related blogging to come in the near future, and please don’t be afraid to ask questions. We’re easy to get ahold of at [email protected] and will do our best to get answers back to you in a timely manner.

Happy Holidays,

Shane Wiley, Chief Privacy Officer | LinkedIn

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Everyone knows you need to take care of the skin on your face: you wake up and wash your mug, apply lotion, and maybe even a little sunscreen—before bed you apply night cream, possibly a mask. But few of us have any sort of routine with the skin on our butt.

And why not? After your face, the butt is your most salient calling card for potential partners. You primp in the mirror for hours making sure your hair is nicely coiffed, trim your pubes, and put concealer under your bags, but what are you doing to make sure your asset downstairs is living her best life?

Culturally, the ass has been gaining traction for years. Even straight people eat ass now! Imagine. But, just because we’ve become more open to the pleasures of the derriere, doesn’t mean we’ve learned to take proper care of it. That ends now!

I decided to go on the hunt for the best beauty products for the butt, test them out, and give you all the tea: how to moisturize, lift, hydrate, scrub, exfoliate, and shine your way to a better butt.

Studio ready hot coffee scrub

Best Scrub Before You Get Ate

Studio Ready markets their Hot Coffee Scrub as a premium scrub designed to make eating ass an even more enjoyable experience, and after using the Hot Coffee Scrub this week, all I can say is—pour me another cup.

The scrub has a chocolatey, espresso smell that wafts through the shower as soon as I opened the lid—then, as I rubbed the scrub around, the sugary texture polished and buffed in a way I’d never experienced. Afterwards, my butt was glistening, like when your car goes through the wash and gets a fresh wax. I could smell the cacao long after, and the taste? You’ll have to try for yourself.

Anese that booty tho

Overall MVP Award

That booty tho from Anese is a walnut scrub that you use in the shower to help target stretch marks, acne, and cellulite. This scrub took me the most by surprise because, upon first smelling, the non-existent scent was a major turn-off. I thought that a beauty product had to smell like a candle to win me over. Boy, was I wrong.  

That booty tho blew my mind. I was transfixed by the sensation of the super fine scrub lathering my butt. The best part was how clean and soft my skin felt afterwards, like a baby’s behind. This scrub is top-of-the-class-valedictorian-headed-to-an-Ivy-level good.

Anese down with the thickness

Best for a Plump Rump

This clay mask from Anese helps plump and soften that bum, particularly in problem areas.  Though I don’t have any of those, I decided to give her a go anyway. And thank god. This pink confection that looks like Pepto-Bismuth and smells like Elio’s peach is sheer heaven on an ass.

The mask needs to sit for 15-20 minutes, so you should get your phone and scroll on social media or Grindr while you wait for the clay to harden. It can be a bit runny so let it tighten before you move much. Once I washed the mask away it revealed a skin plump and light and ready for a good smack.

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Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream

Best Smell

Bum Bum Cream has become something of a cult favorite of beauty bloggers in the past couple of years—it’s an all over body cream that’s “infused with all-powerful caffeine-rich Guaraná extract”. An equation I’ve developed over the past month of product testing is that Caffeine + Butt = phat ass. It’s no theory of relativity, but just as important.

Bum Bum Cream packaging is so beautiful that you don’t want to unwrap her, but when you do you’re met with the sweetest smelling lotion—a bouquet of Piña Colada and Starbursts. It reminded me of applying tanning lotion while on Spring Break in high school—one of my fondest memories, frankly. Bum Bum Cream is the creamiest lotion of the bunch—one dollop and your ass shines like a brand-new nickel. Hours after applying my butt was just as smooth and still smelled like Coconut Rum. Heaven.

Bawdy Beauty butt mask collection

Best Mask

Sure, you’ve done a face mask from CVS—maybe even a mud mask from the Korean Spa, but baby, you ever done a butt mask? Welcome to the new wave of self-care—butt masks are sweeping the nation as a quick way to perk up your derriere in a pinch. Got a date and need to freshen her up? Put a butt mask on it. Want to wear your speedo to the beach but haven’t had a scrub in ages? Put a butt mask on it.

Which brings me to Bawdy Beauty and their collection of Butt Masks, each one unique in its own way, my personal favorite being Squeeze It, the citrus mask made for rejuvenation. Leave these on for a quick 10-15 and watch in amazement as your butt gets a cute refreshing lift. Bawdy recommends taking a “Buttfie” after to show off your perky butt in all its glory.

Green heart Labs butt acne clearing lotion

Best Buttne Cure

Buttne is so rude. There’s something truly insidious about finally leaving high school acne behind only to have a resurgence of it in your 20’s—on your ass. I used to not want to hookup on nights when I had a pimple on my butt; my insecurities about my body stopped me from having sex. The horror! Hopefully, with products like Butt Acne Clearing Lotion from Green Heart Labs, those days of Queer twenty-somethings hiding their butts in shame are over.

The lotion itself has a super refreshing vegetal smell, and the non-greasy formula didn’t leave my skin feeling sticky after using. Sometimes acne cleansers dry your skin out, but because this is a lotion, my skin felt clean and smooth the whole day, no dryness spotted.

Dear Dad

How do I explain my open relationship to my parents?

—Sharing is caring

Dear Sharing,

Once, in my early 20’s, my mother and I got a bit sloshed at dinner while my father was out of town. We talked about the usual: taxes, politics, “Golden Girls.” Eventually, we got drunk enough to discuss sex. After her fourth glass, my mother revealed that my father loved to get spanked during foreplay. It was weird to hear, but sort of reassuring that even my straight-as-an-arrow father had a kinky side. Because she was vulnerable enough to share his sexual proclivity with me, I thought it would only be polite to do the same. I told her about how I liked wearing nipple clamps during sex. After I divulged this intimate detail my mother took a long gulp of wine, focused her gaze, and then spat out, “I was in labor for 17 hours with you…do I really need to hear this shit?” To put it plainly, a little social lubricant can help with certain penetrating truths, even if they hurt a bit.

My bf and I are open, but I’m not sure if we should tell each other about guys we sleep with?

—Feeling sneaky

Sneaky,

You cannot survive an open relationship without open communication. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you need to share every sticky, salty detail about every guy you sleep with—not at all. But you do need to be on the same page about what you share and what you don’t. Figure out what level of disclosure works for you both, and run with it. Once you have clear ground rules for what you expect each other to share, it’s as simple as honoring that agreement. As for my personal preference, I like it best when you cc: your partner without having to direct message.

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I don’t want an open relationship, but he does. What do I do?

—Three’s a crowd

Hey Crowded,

Red alert, son. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. You will not change that man, you will only ruin your own peace of mind by entering into a relationship you’re not actually comfortable with. Next!

Hooked up with an open couple and now they want me to be their third. But I only like one…

—Throuple threat

Throuple Threat,

You in danger, girl. What do you expect will happen when the one you’re not interested in susses out that you only like his man? I’m all for open relationships, and I have nothing but awe and respect for those who choose to have a third, but do you really want to put yourself in a position where you have to pretend to like someone? Both parties deserve better than that. Let’s just consider it a one time thing for now and should they ever break up, go ahead and hit up the one you like.

Are open relationships the only way two gay men can stay together for a long time?

—Open 24/7

Dear 24/7,

You know how dogs can hang out together all day and go to bed and wake up and then hang out some more? And you know how cats can disappear for two weeks and come back and purr on you and then ignore you for the rest of the day? Those are two equally valid ways of loving in the world—both authentic to the respective animal. I’ve seen monogamous gay couples and non-monogamous gay couples and some have failed and some have succeeded, and as far as I’ve seen no one has figured out the magical formula for how or why. All you can do is trust your needs and desires. Tell the world what it is that you want and then go for it. There are other queer people out there who’re looking for the exact same thing as you, but first you have to know for yourself what it is that you seek.

Pabllo Vittar is an icon’s icon: a world-renowned drag queen, pop star, and fashion disruptor who also happens to be the most-followed drag queen on Instagram (more than Mother Ru!). Already a household name in her native Brazil, Vittar has served up looks in Vogue, crossed tongues with Diplo, and, oh yes, is the first drag queen ever nominated for a Latin Grammy.

Their meteoric rise in the pop music scene might suggest an overnight sensation, but Vittar’s been crafting their own unique brand of polished pop and drag performance for some time. They’d already been performing in Brazilian beauty contests, bars, and parades for years when, in 2014, their now-legendary cover of Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” debuted on Brazilian television and announced Vittar as a singular talent. The rest, as they say, is herstory.

Since then their career has exploded globally: Vittar has released two massive albums and a major ep; collaborated with Diplo, Charli XCX, Major Lazer, and Anitta; performed at Coachella; and surpassed one billion views on Youtube.

We sat down with Vittar as part of BLOOP’s High Tea series, which profiles LGBTQ+ celebrities, leaders, and iconoclasts from around the world in an authentic, fun, and sex-positive setting. Dig in below to find out about the softness of Diplo’s tongue, how to get Vittar’s attention on Grindr, and more.

Who are your fashion icons?

My fashion icons are my friends; I like watching people walking down the street. I don’t think fashion has to be this grandiose thing, it’s about taking what you already have and expressing yourself.

You’ve already worked with Charli XCX, but what other pop artist working today would you like to collaborate with?

You.

I’ll harmonize on an album, don’t test me.

Ha! I’d love to do more stuff with Charli XCX, I love her, and I’m always doing things with Diplo, he’s on my second album. I really love Rosalía, would love to do a feature with her. I just saw her show in Mexico, she’s incredible.

What are you listening to right now?

I really like BLACKPINK.

Do you have any makeup or grooming tips for Grindr users?      

Whenever you’re getting ready to meet your Grindr hookups make sure you put moisturizer on, some chapstick. Make sure your lips are nice and fresh for your boy.

What was it like to kiss Diplo?

Every time someone asks me that I get goosebumps because it was so incredible. I want everyone to hear this: his tongue was the softest tongue I’ve ever felt.

Who is your current celebrity crush?

I have a big crush on Bad Bunny, he’s very much my type of man: tall, paints his nails.

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I almost painted my nails today, big mistake.

Huge.

What’s the best way to get your attention on Grindr?

I definitely need a face pic, because when you go to meet someone you’re not going to meet just a torso.

Do you have a memorable Grindr story for us?

One time I met up with a flight attendant.

On the plane?

No! He was staying at the same hotel as me and I went down to his room, and he ended up being a superfan. It was cool, I like the recognition, but I really just wanted to kiss someone.

Where does one find you on a Saturday night?

I’ll probably be at home playing video games or at the club with my friends.

You hit one billion views on Youtube recently, how does that feel?

I feel good and happy. I want to continue to achieve my goals, I’ve got a lot more dreams. It’s something that makes me happy and makes my fans happy. Look how far I’ve come from the northeast of Brazil.

What does “Pride” mean to you?

Pride’s more than a word for me. It’s who you are, it’s what you believe in, and what you’ll fight for regardless of who’s watching.

What’s next for Pabllo Vittar?

Like my album says,“Não Para Não”, I won’t stop— I’ve got a lot more coming.

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