How to Know if You’re in Love: Love vs. Falling in Love

If you’re the type to confuse butterflies with indigestion, knowing whether you’re experiencing a fleeting fantasy with a special someone or if you’re genuinely in love probably isn’t easy. Love comes with a whirlwind of emotions and uncertainties: Can you trust this person enough to let your guard down? Can you trust your own feelings about them?

Mankind may never map out all the nuances of love. After all, it’s a highly personal experience that’s difficult to put into words. Difficult — but not impossible. 

So, what does love feel like, then? Here’s our heartfelt go at describing the differences between love and falling in love.

What does it feel like to be in love?

You’ve probably heard multiple conflicting accounts about what it’s like to be in love. Songs and poems claim it’s anywhere from feeling like you’re walking on air to feeling like you have a knife in your stomach. But most would at least agree that love comes with a profound emotional connection.

It manifests in any number of ways. Your heart might race at the thought of them. Your stomach might churn when they start walking away from you. You might daydream about a life together and feel overwhelming happiness when together. It’s an intoxicating and comforting combination that hopefully comes with a sense of security.

But love isn’t just about the good stuff. True love is more than just an intense attraction that’ll make you throw your phone into a river before you let work interrupt your cuddle time. Love is about a willingness to open your heart. It should and will bring up the desire to talk openly with the person about everything — fears, desires, hopes, dreams — all of which make love more challenging than many realize. 

In other words, something this demanding can be as overwhelming as it is beautiful.

Difference between love vs. falling in love

So, how do you know if you’re falling in love or have already hit the ground and become a lovey-dovey street pizza? 

Being in love means you’ve built a solid foundation of trust, respect, and commitment. Falling in love, however, usually involves those aforementioned butterflies. The heightened emotions and fluttering in your stomach can feel like your blood has turned to lightning. Sometimes, it’s like a romantic comedy, and the push and pull of emotions can make you feel like a lost protagonist hoping to find the answers in the big city. This period is usually called infatuation, which can fade over time. 

Love, however, doesn’t really fade. There’s a stable and comforting rhythm that, while not always as exciting as falling in love, leads to a deeper, more fulfilling emotional connection with the person.

People also tend to idealize individuals when they’re still in the free-fall stage of love. You spend most of your time gushing to your friends about how wonderful they are — maybe even glossing over their (sometimes glaring) flaws.

As your love deepens, however, you start to see your partner’s flaws and embrace them as part of who they are. Love isn’t about cherry-picking someone’s best traits and ignoring the rest. It’s about recognizing the reality of who they are and seeing it as something worth cherishing.

{{video-inline-cta}}

Signs you’re falling in love

How do you know if you love someone or if you’re falling in love with someone? It can be a heady and sometimes even scary experience, especially if you’re unfamiliar with romantic feelings. So, let’s clarify what most people experience when courting their true love to see if you’re actually catching feelings or if your bond is pure lust and rushing dopamine.

A quick note: Confusing many of these feelings with infatuation (or desperation) is pretty easy. Many factors (e.g., past relationships, trauma, and your personal love languages) can influence feelings of romantic love and lust, making it all the more difficult to know which is which.  

So, although these are all excellent indicators you’re experiencing true love, it remains a universal enigma that you just have to vibe out.

1. You’re more affectionate

You may want to express your feelings through physical touch, such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or (you knew this was coming) lots of hot sex. When your partner returns this increased affection, you know strong love-adjacent feelings aren’t just being felt — they’re being caught.

2. You’re constantly thinking about the other person

If you catch yourself daydreaming about them or replaying even the tiniest shared moments, it’s a sign that they occupy a significant space in your heart and mind.

3. You feel safe around them

Spending time with someone you’re falling in love with shouldn’t just feel good — it should feel right. If you’re at ease being your most authentic self around someone, there’s a good chance you’re well on your way to genuine love.

4. You want to spend time with them

Love needs time to bloom. But if you’re falling in love with someone, you’ll make time. Maybe you’re rearranging your schedule to be with them or making plans with them far in advance. Both indicate that you’re down bad (in a good way).

5. You share all your thoughts and feelings

Vulnerability is the key to connection. Opening up about your dreams, fears, and experiences lets them into your inner world, a hallmark of falling in love.

6. You’re more patient and understanding

Falling in love brings out the best in us — usually. You may be much more forgiving and patient with someone you love. You know who they really are and are more than happy to tough (some) things out, knowing that nobody’s perfect.

7. You’re inspired to be a better person

The patience and understanding brought about by love isn’t just for your partner’s benefit. It’s for yours, too. Falling in love often motivates people to grow and improve, as they want to be the best version of themselves for their partners.

8. You experience emotional highs and lows

Falling in love can trigger an intense rollercoaster of emotions. It’s why people describe the experience as “falling” in the first place. Still, the lows shouldn’t overshadow the highs. Joy, excitement, vulnerability — these are all good feelings you should feel when falling for someone.

9. You imagine a future together

Do you struggle to imagine a future where you aren’t frolicking through the flowers with your one true love? You’re probably invested in a long-term connection where you grow together.

How to tell someone you’re in love with them

Let’s say you’ve decided — after countless nights spent talking until the sun comes up and springing turgid erections whenever they walk into the room — you’re officially in love. Great! Now, here comes the fun part: telling them.

Some people have no trouble confessing their love for someone. Others would instead put their arm in a woodchipper. Let’s work out a strategy that keeps all your limbs intact, shall we?

The best way to say you love someone is to be forthcoming and honest with them. Choose a comfortable and private setting where you can discuss things openly with minimal distractions. Share your feelings gradually, and avoid blurting things out or making grandiose gestures.

Start simple. Talk about how safe you feel with them or how much you’ve enjoyed spending time together. As the conversation unfolds, see how they respond. And when you’re ready, express your love directly with clear and sincere language. A simple “I’m falling in love with you” or “I love you” does nicely.

Expectations are your enemy here. The other person might not be ready to say it, even if they feel strongly for you. Prepare yourself for any response, even if it isn’t the true love you’re hoping for.

Looking for love? Or just a lover boy?

Whether you’re mid-fall or have already gone splat, the most essential part of loving someone is to love the process. Consult your heart and your mind to parse your true feelings. Love can hurt just as much as it can heal, but the only way to truly love someone is to open yourself up and trust them. The emotional intimacy of true love goes far beyond sex or infatuation.

Whether you’re looking for romantic love, a genuine connection, or just some old-fashioned casual sex, you’ll find people on Grindr who crave the same things. Download the Grindr app today to get started.