Physical Intimacy: Types, Benefits, and How to Build It

Casual sex and fun flings are all part of the human experience. After all, we’re sexual beings hardwired to procreate (most of us, at least), even if Miss Biology suggests that tilling your boyfriend’s backyard garden won’t lead you to sire his firstborn no matter how hard you try. 

Sure, there’s more to life than sex (shocking, we know). Although deep connections through sex are possible, physical intimacy is its own thing. And if you’re like most, you’re probably just as hungry for holding hands as you are for holding a giant dong. 

But if you’ve ever wondered whether there are other ways to feel just as close to someone as you might during sex, read on. Here’s everything you need to know about physical intimacy and how having it — or not having it — can affect your relationships.

What is physical intimacy?

Physical intimacy is the closeness and connection people build through physical touch and affection. This could be a byproduct of any kind of physical contact, including hugging, cuddling, kissing, and sexual activity. Most relationships need some amount of physical intimacy to make partners feel safe and secure in their relationship, even if it doesn’t come from sex. 

Physical intimacy isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships, either. Platonic love often involves hugging and other forms of physical contact that make people feel closer to one another. But a healthy romantic or sexual relationship demands this kind of physical affection to show that desire and sexual attraction are very much still part of the equation.

Other types of intimacy

Would you believe there are ways to connect with a lover that don’t involve bending him into the pretzel dip position? Physical touch is grand, but other types of intimacy can be just as vital to a fulfilling relationship.

Intellectual

Hugs are fun and all, but have you ever spent hours talking with someone about anything and everything, like what happens when you die, the infinite colors the human is unable to see, or what going through a black hole feels like? Intellectual intimacy involves sharing your most profound beliefs and ideas about big-picture things in the world (and beyond) and nerding out on all your favorite topics together. When you connect on this level, you'll never run out of things to talk about — and honestly, smarty pants never looked so sexy.

Experiential

Experiential intimacy develops through unique shared experiences and creative collaborations. This might include cowriting a book or screenplay, creating art together, joining a club or sports team, or even launching a side hustle. These shared moments transform into lasting memories, deepening the connection between you, so keep that camera handy.

Emotional

Emotional intimacy is about sharing feelings, vulnerabilities, and fears — a solid foundation of any healthy relationship. While the trust and openness it demands can feel intimidating, building emotional intimacy can deepen other aspects of your connection, including your physical bond.

The difference between physical intimacy and sexual intimacy

“Being intimate” with someone is often used as a euphemism for sex, but physical intimacy and sexual intimacy aren’t the same thing. While there’s definitely some overlap — sex can enhance physical intimacy, and physical intimacy can improve your sex life — they’re distinct aspects of a relationship.

Sexual intimacy is one component of physical closeness, but physical intimacy extends beyond the bedroom. It includes a broader range of affectionate gestures that aren’t purely sexual, like pouring yourselves into a cuddle puddle or sharing a long, comforting hug. 

This distinction matters. If your partner doesn’t understand why you’re bringing up physical intimacy issues despite frequent sex, knowing the difference will help clarify things. After all, doggy-style isn’t a substitute for holding hands while watching the first snowfall of winter.

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The importance of physical intimacy in relationships

Not all relationships involve sexual intimacy. You probably have plenty of friends you haven’t fucked (and if not, no shade). But physical intimacy — whether in a platonic or romantic context — often plays a key part in maintaining connection.

Imagine how you’d feel if a close friend or partner stopped hugging you entirely. It’s not about going full PDA morning, noon, and night, but a lack of physical touch can strain other aspects of your relationship.

Couples who prioritize physical intimacy often feel more valued and connected, and it goes even deeper than that. Physical touch helps reduce stress and improves overall relationship satisfaction. While it might seem counterintuitive to reach for your partner’s hand during a heated argument about the dishes, you’d be surprised how even small, gentle touches can soften tensions.

Physical touch has a grounding effect, clearing the path for better communication. And the better you communicate, the stronger your understanding and intimacy become.

How to conquer physical intimacy barriers

Feeling uncomfortable with physical intimacy is normal, and so is wanting to overcome that discomfort. Past experiences or current insecurities might be holding you back from deepening your connection with your partner — and that’s OK. These feelings are common, and recognizing them is the first step toward change. Here are a few tips to help: 

Understand your boundaries

It’s completely natural to have boundaries, especially when it comes to physical touch. But for those boundaries to be respected, you need to communicate them clearly. Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out — they’re about creating a safe space to let them in. Being open about what feels comfortable makes it easier to navigate intimate moments with confidence.

Identify what scares you

If you’re ready to work on your relationship with touch and affection, start by identifying what’s holding you back. Acknowledge your fears and share them with your partner when you feel comfortable. A supportive partner will want to help you work through these concerns together, strengthening your bond in the process.

Seek expert advice

No one has all the answers when it comes to intimacy. Our relationships with sex, touch, and connection often stem from complex personal histories that can be hard to untangle alone. Instead of turning solely to friends for advice, consider reaching out to a professional. A therapist or counselor can offer unbiased insights to help you overcome these challenges in a constructive, meaningful way.

How to increase physical intimacy in a relationship

Here’s the big question: How do you go from dodging each other’s touch to giving him a piggyback ride through a cornfield? It’s simpler than it sounds. Focusing on these areas can improve both your physical and emotional connection: 

Show your gratitude

What do you appreciate most about your partner? Are you taking the time to celebrate them and express your gratitude for what they bring to your life? If not, this could be a great starting point to strengthen your bond and increase physical intimacy.

Spend quality time together

The more quality time you spend with your partner, the stronger your connection will grow — and that emotional connection often leads to physical affection. Consider planning activities that naturally incorporate touch, like giving each other at-home massages or recreating that iconic pottery scene from Ghost. 

Increase physical affection

If physical closeness feels awkward, start small and let it build over time. Add more affectionate gestures like cuddling, kissing, or holding hands. Consistency is key — the more you practice, the easier it becomes to make physical touch a natural part of your relationship.

Learn your partner’s love language

Your partner might crave affection in a way that’s different from how you express it. Understanding their love language — whether it’s quality time, acts of service, or physical touch — can help you connect more deeply. Aligning with their needs makes it easier to foster intimacy in every aspect of your relationship.

Let’s get physical!

Not all healthy relationships rely heavily on kissing, hugging, and physical closeness. But for most, prioritizing touch can significantly enhance your relationship satisfaction and strengthen the bond between you and your partner.

If you’re looking for someone(s) to get touchy-feely with, you’ll find plenty of options on Grindr. Download the Grindr app today to see for yourself.